Reflections of You
by Last-Dragomir
Summary: In the wake of losing something great, Bo struggles to cope with her life and the longevity that it entails. As time passes she finds herself lost in the fog of her endlessly painful reflections. Will leaving everything behind help her heal the hole in her soul, or will the isolation from the gang be her downfall? DOCCUBUS/RATED M/AU
1. Chapter 01: Winter Bird

**Hello there friends! Long time no see, with our move to another country and the change of jobs there was simply no time for me to sit and write. However, I am now established and inspired and I'm excited to present you guys with this work in progress.**

 **This is a little something that was running through my mind as inspiration. As always SuccubusShinobi has had some influence on this by playing pretty good music while I write. I want to thank my readers who will take the time to read this. I am not giving up on other stories, but I am aware that I have not written in almost 6 months and I don't want established works to suffer my rustiness. I hope you all enjoy this work I am about to put out, I am enjoying writing it and expect to have a chapter a week at the latest.**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

**Chapter 01: Winter Bird**

The warmth of the fire did nothing for the chill in my bones or in my soul. It was still that all-consuming numbness that took my breath away at the times I tried to crawl out of this daze. With a sigh I brought the cold feel of the glass to my lips as the deep shades of bourbon hit my tongue making my throat burn. I could feel the way my body was melting into this plush tall chair in front of the chimney and I knew I would disappoint Dyson once more. I pinched the bridge of my nose with regret as I let of the air in my lungs sullenly at the thought of the man who had been so patient with me.

The thought was like a bucket of ice water chilling my veins and seeping deeper into my soul as I cringed. The fact was that there was a resolute, absolute reason why I couldn't just give Dyson the chance and that reason was unfathomable to me at this point. A thought so deep and painful I had to bury it away deeper even than the untimely death of my Grandfather and Mother at the hands of my Father so many years ago.

Thinking about the past, how it played out and the situations that unfolded was making me anxious to the point of restlessness so I stood quicker than I probably should have and threw the black leather jacket on over my skin tight black tank top. I finished my drink in one swift gulp and grabbed the bottle while as if in a trance my feet carried me out the door and into the dark city. I shook my head one last time to push away the face in my head within my memories and looking both ways I decided which way to go as I always did now-a-days; on a whim.

The air was cold against my skin and I welcomed it as the old friend it was. I felt the phone vibrating in my pocket, but ignored it just the same. I didn't want to hear Dyson's voice warped with pity and pain. My Grandfather would probably be ashamed at the whirlwind of emotions I was putting Dyson through, but I couldn't pull myself together no matter how much time had passed. Everyone was so sure that Dyson and I would be with each other in the long run, after….

I grabbed my chest at the pain of her memory as it took my breath away like it always did. I had to lean against a wall to catch my bearings and yet wave after wave of memories, moments and laughter from when I was the happiest hit me crippling my every move. I was a mess, I knew it and yet I couldn't do anything about it. Tears ran down my face as I gasped for breath remembering how she smelled every night in my arms before Morpheus took me in his. The years that had gone by were a mere ghost of time where I endlessly looked for ways to entertain my mind away from my aching heart. As I looked for solace in the shadows of the snow falling while the tears felt frozen in my face, the air I breathed was a mere cloud of white out of my lips. I needed to get home, but was it home anymore even? It was a mere hotel room, a mini fridge and my mind. No home is where your heart is cold as ice.

 _The smile formed on my lips between the world of dreams and the real one. With an adventurous feeling my eyes opened and I took the dull shine of morning light. I knew she loved waking up early enough to have her coffee and our time to relax before going to work and I had slowly but surely adjusted to her schedule. I stretched my naked body deliciously, being careful not to stir the bed much so I could appreciate her beauty without the mar that stress brought onto her physique. I knew she was tired of perpetually living in the unknown but I tried my best to keep her grounded to the now as I was. There was no room to look forward and I could live with that._

 _The sheets over me were soft and her body next to mine was warm and inviting, tempting me to wake her up in the most delicious way. With a mischievous smile blissfulness filled me reinvigorating my every fibre as I pressed my nose against the naked soft skin in front of me. I could make out this scent even in the filthiest conditions. Like a fine wine that had been drank so many times it was now part of you, unmistakable. I basked in the feeling of the soft skin beneath my digits as I ran the tips of my fingers along the curves of her collarbone and clavicle. I could see the Goosebumps rise along my lover's skin and my smile grew while I could hear the deep pleasant hum coming from her lips. My lips found her shoulder as I tucked her golden locks behind her ear appreciating every second with the woman. I could feel her stirring and I was more than ready this time. This was my favourite part of the day, when I could see her gorgeous face wake up to my eyes staring into hers. It was magical, it was bliss and as her shoulder dipped and her face started to turn I felt my heartbeat quicken and my breath leave me momentarily._

Everything was **off.** It was dark in the room now and the bed was cold while the sheets rubbed harshly against my body. I stifled a sob as I blinked repeatedly trying not to lose the memory of this dream that now escaped me. My hands fell to my face as I covered my eyes and cried unabashedly, the way you allow yourself when no one is watching. I tried not to wail, I had been kicked out of other hotels over that and for now I didn't want to move. Or did I?

The thought made my heart ache as it always did when I considered it but there was nothing to be done any more in this city. I had loved and I had lost in this city and even if I wanted to stay for the sake of holding on to hope; who was I really kidding? I couldn't shake off the melancholy out of my soul and the weight of the loss was too much to take anymore. Maybe I could convince someone to keep me posted if something changed, but after so many years, I highly doubted anything would change anymore. I looked around the darkened room and through the slight opening in the curtains where the light shone from it illuminated the bottles strewn around. I had been drinking heavier than ever before especially after the last fight with Dyson, but in the end it didn't take the pain away. Ironically I now understood more of Dyson than I ever did and yet I could not give him my all like I should've been able to.

While my heart pounded as heavily as my head I got up in frenzy and started packing my stuff haphazardly into a duffel bag. I tugged into the corner between the mini bar and the counter and pulled out a zip-lock full of different ID cards from different places. I had been planning this for a very long time, but the guilt and the hope wouldn't let me move forward. In this moment though, between dreams, dodging phone calls and the fear that I was slowly becoming an alcoholic I had to leave immediately.

The sun was warm on my back and I took in the salty air lingering in the road I was on. I could almost taste the salt and sand as the sun baked my skin a deeper tan than it already was and I thanked the heavens for my choice of a spaghetti strap tank and booty shorts. My hair was loose and unruly and it had grown out to my shoulder blades at this point, which I was glad for since I had missed it.

Truth was that since I had taken off from the city I had gone through great lengths to reinvent myself. Shortly after I had taken the road, I had cut my hair pretty short and spunky. It had been a split second decision, the first of many, and in hindsight I should've probably held off on that one. I had been able to keep jobs here and there, I had never needed to make money as I went through life as a Succubus but I needed the work to clear my mind. So far it had worked and after being somewhere rural but colder, another city and a desert, I thought it was time to try the sand and the salty water I had never seen before.

So far the view had been nothing short of amazing as the highway made way to the waterside black top. I couldn't understand how it had taken me this long to get here, but I was glad I was here now. There was something about the ocean that called to me in ways that I was aloof to. I drew in a deep happy sigh and pressed the gas pedal further as the GPS blurted out that my destination was close by.

When I pulled into the sandy driveway and the slightly roofed entrance my eyes lit up. I immediately loved the place and I wasn't even inside yet. The house was set a mere 10 steps from the formation of rocks that led to the crystalline water. I sighed longingly knowing for a fact this would've been a perfect place for the both of us. With a bitter smile I shook the thoughts out of my head and hopped off the red door-less Jeep I had been calling mine recently.

I still missed the woman that owned my heart, there was no denying that, but I was also not drowning in despair like I was in the city. The reality was that in the city there was countless places and people that reminded me of a life I had lost. As much as I had loved the gang and Dyson, Mark and Vex I could not hold the same life with them without her as I did with her. Out here on the road, I had fond memories to think of but I also had lots of time to think ahead and wonder what the next place would bring me. I wouldn't deny, I was longing for somewhere to call home by now, but that's what I hoped this place would bring. If not, on to the next one, a tourist just passing by trying to have fun.

I got out of the car noting there was no one else in the premises beside myself. I thought I was probably early and decided to scope the place out. I rounded the spacious house and found the beach at the back where a patio gave way to a stone path to where I assumed was the water. The sun felt nice and the sound of the waves was a welcomed lull to my chaotic thoughts. I could feel many of the things troubling me melting away as the ocean wrapped around me with its sound while I tasted the salt in my mouth from the air.

"Miss McCorrigan?" I jumped slightly from the voice as I turned and a well-dressed man was standing before me. I smiled to cover my blunder but he noticed it himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's alright, I was not aware you were here." I noted with a smile.

"I ran a little late, I deeply apologize" the man smiled at me and I waved him off with a smile. "Thanks I'll open it up so you can see the inside."

As the man opened the door I took a moment to regard him. He was tall, dark, and handsome and perhaps some years ago I would've, but not now. I was fed from the last nomad Fae I crossed and he had assured me there was a settlement here nearby where I could seek refuge and sustainability. I was still not down to be aligned but word traveled far of the feats I had done in the city, being The Blood King's granddaughter opened you a lot of new doors.

"This one just hit the market, I don't think it'll be available for long… I-" he tried as we walked inside.

"I'll take it!" I interrupted him when I looked inside. "Why don't you go grab the contract and I'll make myself at home?"

The man looked flabbergasted for a moment before I gave him a wide smile.

"For real, Darwin… it was Darwin wasn't it?" I asked to make sure as he nodded "Then yes, Darwin go for it and grab the contract, I want it."

The man smiled and all but ran to his car. This was probably the easiest sale he had ever done, but I wanted this place hands down. The outside was an eggshell shade of white siding with a blue front door complete with a screen door as well. Once inside the kitchen was to my left but it was mostly open concept and I could practically see the whole house. The kitchen was white with white cabinets, brown and white tiling and stainless steel appliances. As I walked into the dining room just before the kitchen I ran my finger down the brown table and chairs that were there suggesting the house had been set up to entertain. That gave way into the living room which was tremendously spacious holding a small desk, a couple of couches, and armchairs. However what enticed me into the sell was the chimney in the middle of the back wall of this room. I missed Trick's chimney where I would sit for hours and perhaps this one would do until I could return to the former.

Once the tedious paperwork was out of the way and I had dispatched Darwin out of sight I decided it was a good time as any to unpack. There wasn't really much to unpack in the first place but two trips to the Jeep were needed. I had set my bags by the front door before taking off my shoes at the landing wanting to explore. It wasn't huge, but that was part of the charm it possessed and I liked it very much. The bright colours and lights coming from the huge bay windows were just making me calmer by the second.

Grateful that the realtor company was excellent I had found complimentary map of the town I now resided in. I had enough money that I didn't need to find the next job anytime soon, so that was not something I was looking in here for. I had found a few places of interest in the map and thought it'd be a great try so I made a mental picture of it in case I wanted to visit later time. With that I noted where the local diner and grocery store were and decided to give them a visit today to finish getting settled. As I looked around my new house I smiled fondly. I felt good here as if the thought of her being here with me was enough to help heal my soul. In a moment before I set out to unpack I wondered if this would be the year I'd be able to utter her name again.

 _"Why are you still holding on to this Bo? It's impossible! She's been gone for 60 years, she was 42 when she left. I highly doubt there's a 102 year old Lauren out there still pinning for you. I'm sorry to be this harsh but you need to wake up and move on!" Dyson exclaimed as he paced the room in frustration and my jaw tightened at his words._

 _"Dyson I didn't ask you to wait on my every beck and call, there's plenty of women out there that can take your dick if that's what you want." I replied tensely not wanting to deal with this as I reached into my coat and fished out my flask taking a swig._

 _"It's not even about that anymore Bo!" Dyson huffed angrily. "I couldn't care less if we try it again for the millionth time or not, but this way that you're living your life is destructive. You are drinking yourself away and just going through life in a fog and with Mackenzie calling today…" Dyson started but I shook my head at the other stab in my heart that had just been created recently._

 _"I can't have her visit Dyson, it's too soon and she looks exactly like her late Mother." I cringed as he groaned frustrated._

 _"Because she IS her mother's daughter Bo. She's spunky and lively and brave like her and she misses her aunt, she wants to see you and I for one think you're being incredibly selfish." Dyson argued but I wasn't having it._

 _"No Dyson, I can't see her anytime soon, she's safe with Dagny and that's how it should stay." I admitted bitterly as he huffed in anger._

 _"Isabeu… Lauren left, she left you and she never looked back and you need to cope with that- -"_

 _The slap that crossed his face reverberated through the room and the painful look that crossed his eyes etched into the box of regrets I seemed to be collecting._

 _"Don't fucking talk about her like you **know** what happened." I hissed before walking out of the room the last time I saw Dyson. _

I stared at the crashing waves as the sound rolled through the night and crashed into my being taking away the bitter memories that my past seemed to rehash. The double French doors at the back of the master bedroom were open to reveal the amazing view and a path to the ocean. It was a treat to live in such a place and I was grateful for my longevity giving me the opportunity to see so much of the beauty in this world. After my day out in the town buying groceries I had decided I liked the distance from my house to the hub, it was far enough to escape, but close enough to join the town for anything I'd need.

The vibe had seemed invigorating in town and all the young people were buzzing with the excitement of a Friday night at the local watering hole. I had my reservations on where to go, but after my dinner and a hot shower the more I stared at the waves in the darkness of twilight the more I felt like exploring the town's entertainment.

With my mind set I picked out a decent outfit and applied my dark smoky makeup, deciding that my hair was better out of my face I pinned it back with a bobby pin. I was nervous and yet excited at what the night could bring. I knew I shouldn't have but I stared at my old phone which I hadn't turned on for a couple of years now. I wondered who of my old life was looking for me or not. I wanted to grab it and turn it on, and as the anxiety of the possibilities enveloped me I took one last shaky breath grabbing my Jeep keys and walking away into the night.

I stood in front of the loud and noisy place; it seemed that there was a rave or an industrial fetish party of sorts going on. It looked to be an abandoned factory of or something of the like that had been turned into a club at the outskirts of town. I was lured here by the heavy bass and the cloister of Fae I could sense here. As I walked in I was met by chains and a stairwell going upwards in the industrial club that was loitered by all sorts of couples (and more than couples) making out and beyond. Unwillingly my eyes flashed blue at the sensory stimulation I was receiving as I donned my shades in case the humans here were not drunk enough and made my way to what looked to be the bar. There a black guy with a sexy back smiled at me wanting my order. He was Fae, that much I knew, and I had to resist the urge to pull my shades down and smile coyly. I remained neutral deciding I wanted to get to see the place around before any trouble got to me as I sipped the beer I had asked for contently looking at the dance floor.

The sexual energy from the bodies grinding against each other, dripping in sweat and swaying to the music was exactly what I needed right now. I felt myself melt with the crowd after a few songs and not long after I was in full blown dance mode. Before I knew it this blonde was dancing with me almost entranced and I decided that tonight I was gonna have fun no matter what.

When I awoke there was a rose on the vacant pillow beside me. I chuckled at the notion of romanticizing a Succubus. I pushed the bitter memories away for another time and pushed myself to live in the now; laying on this bed with the Egyptian cotton sheets and the glow of a night of sexual healing. I felt like a drive and the distance between here and the nearest Fae compound would've provided just that. With plans set to see the beach along the way and a purpose to my day I stretched out in the soft bed admiring the way the light came in through the doors illuminating the walls with a beautiful blue hue reflecting the water beyond my walls. I felt like I was gonna like it here and I needed that.

After a shower and some coffee that I packed in a thermos I grabbed my sun glasses, my keys, and an apple. I had become much more of a better cook since my days in the crack shack, but still I preferred the coffee and snack route in the mornings. I smiled at the Jeep that had become mine in a card game. I had promised myself to win it fair and square without using my Succubus. I channelled my inner Kenzi and won the hand that got me the keys. A pang of longing hit me as I realized she would've loved the door-less, top-less vehicle that matched my lifestyle. The paint was glossy and cold underneath my fingertips, the red was a beautiful shade and it wasn't lost on me that she would've loved to ride in it with me. With a small smile I patted the right fender and nodded softly as I got into the Jeep to set off. I had found solace with the loss of my best friend within this trip and that was at least a small victory on in itself.

The pain of my old life was still there ever present yet I had found a way to push it aside, to let it mute and become background noise to deal with at a later time. I could not visit some things, but in the end I was making progress from the alcoholic mess I was becoming in the city. I cringed followed by a shudder knowing it had been a close call back then and with new purpose I turned my engine on and roared down the road towards the compound.

After the beach picnic stop I had taken, I had driven for about 45 minutes to an hour before I reached the compound. The guards at the gate were friendly as soon as I touched their hands. It seemed to be a light compound so I braced for a lecture at some point. After I parked a guard was waiting by the back of the Jeep.

"If you would please follow me." The guard mentioned and I simply obliged knowing there was not much else to do.

Silently we made our way down the compound as the guard showed me the way. We waited by huge green doors as the young man in uniform glanced at me admiringly from time to time. I wondered if he recognized me but I was almost certain he had. With a smile and a wave he led me to the main room and advised me to sit down. I followed orders while he took his leave giving me a chance to look around in such elaborate room.

As always the Elders had a taste for the exaggerated and this was no exception. I knew the reigning Ash in this area was pompous so I wanted to be in and be out. I had just come to establish my area of residence as my own domain. It was a courtesy I extended the Ash or Morrigan of the area I was staying in that time frame.

The room itself was full of a mixture of books and plants, with a fountain in the centre. I had heard that this particular leader was a Shifter like Dyson. When he came into the room he smiled and brushed the assistants away as he walked back to his seat.

"Isabeau McCorrigan, what a pleasure of having you by…. What can I do for you?" the Ash's voice was deep and resonating but it also held kindness.

"Thank you for seeing me Ash" I admitted with a curtsy. "I am just advising the local Fae government about my arrival into their domain to avoid any misunderstandings."

The Ash shot me a smile and nodded before he sat in the chair opposite to me. I could see the sun setting in the background as I smiled to myself at the thought of another night of fun.

"Very generous of you Bo, I heard from Darwin that you bought the property from the beach at the edge of town, so consider that your territory. We are honoured to have you in our community. Anything you need let me know and I'll personally see it done." He ended swiftly before kneeling and kissing my hand.

A bit weirded out by the informal goodbye I smiled awkwardly and nodded before turning and leaving the room. The same guard escorted me to my Jeep and then I was out of there. It felt weird being around mostly Fae again, living with humans had made it so that I wasn't used to my own kind again. I had always felt at home between humans but now with years of experience to hold it against it, I could see that their mortality was something hard for me to get over.

The night breeze was crisp and soothing compared to the scorching day we had. I had taken a long detour at the beach before arriving at the compound so I was glad I was heading home. I wanted to get changed and check out more of the town. It seemed like a lot of young people liked to come by and have a good time.

By the time I arrived home the breeze had turned slightly chilly and I was already pondering on what to wear. My night at The Quagmire last night had satisfied the Succubus in me but now I wanted to see what else was out there. The blonde last night had been invigorating but deep down I hoped that the only feelings between us was lust. After a quick refreshing shower and some deciding on the outfit I wore a pair of black leggings, a black long tank top and black leather boots with purple details. The night was breezy and cool so it would allow me to wear this without being stifling. I retouched and perfected my makeup before throwing on a purple light leather jacket that completed my look. With that I decided to hop in the Jeep and roll letting my hair fall and set with the breeze.

It wasn't half a block from where I had parked the Jeep when someone caught up with me. I chuckled and scoffed when I saw it was my companion from last night.

"Bo, I've been looking all over for you babes." The blonde insisted and I smiled incredulously.

"Nope, no… this ain't happening."

"What? We had a magical time together. After the party it was a true connection… the things you did with your tongue… and your flexi-"

"Shhhhh" I interrupted "Listen, we had a good time that was all."

I tried as best as I could to make the blonde understand as I meet the dark brown eyes. I shook my head one last time to get the point across and turned to start walking towards the music and the vibe from the place nearby. There were tons of young people going in and the mood was electric. I wondered if it was an 80's vibe from the way the crowd was dressed but I didn't mind, I liked the scene. I could've sworn I saw a familiar face in the crowd but I couldn't have been sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Before I could keep walking into the club to find out what awaited me, the blonde was pulling me towards him trying to change my mind.

"Bo! Bo!"

"I'm still walking Wes…"

"Come on Bo we still have a couple of hours, let's use it…"

"I AM using it" I chuckled at this pup following me around. "I have somewhere to be, see you around Wes have fun."

I turned without thinking much more of it, as I looked in what direction I had seen the familiar face go towards. I smiled shaking my head as I walked to the entrance with a goofy grin to calm my nerves. ' _There's no way Bo'_ I told myself as my mind raced with conclusions. I had to stop imagining things and enjoy what **Tuckers** had to offer in the form of entertainment.

As I walked in the tunes of the 80's hit my ears, the place was full of pink and blue neon lights and people wearing outfits to fit into that era. It seemed like the bar had a theme and I somewhat liked that. It was a flashback for me and I'm sure most of these people that were here dressed like an 80's movie threw up on them had no idea how people lived back in that era. The bar was stainless steel and it felt like I had stepped into a time capsule with the décor of years long gone. The vibe was different from the place I had been to yesterday but it was still packed with energy and dancing. I made my way to the bar trying to keep my eyes from scanning the crowd. My sight scanned over the door where the blonde was still looking for me inside and my eyes rolled as I tried to take evasive manoeuvres.

There was an old school arcade attached to the club and as I passed it I scanned a couple of booths with tables and such. I caught myself looking back to make sure Wes had not located me yet as I tried to put the human down as gently as I could without using my Succubus. I liked this town, it had the right mix of Fae and human and it seemed the locals were not as uptight when it came to hanging out with the mere mortals that made life fun. Looking around for someone to use as a decoy from Wes my breath caught in my throat.

"Lauren." I whispered as a woman looked around in the booth sipping on a retro coke bottle.

She was aloof to my staring and I couldn't tear my eyes away. She looked completely different and there was no sign of recognition on her features. The darker dirty blonde hair was down her shoulders in a flat style she wore glasses now while a white stripped tee sat under a black leather jacket, jeans, boots and if I didn't know any better I could see tattoos poking from her neck. These were all good signs that this was not Lauren and I was mistaken here but I could swear the scent in this woman was exactly the same. The years that had passed had no mark or blemish on her features making my suspicions seem less likely. My eyes scanned her as my mind ran and my lips moved without thinking as well as my body and I took a seat next to the stranger that was so familiar.

"Whatever I say, go along with me." I assured as my heart raced as the woman stared at me in a shy manner and she scooted just as Wes reached us with a coy smile.

Looking every bit as smitten as he was before I talked to him outside Wes made a thumb towards the door with a suggestive chuckle. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to him.

"Ok Wes, you're just pestering now…" I mentioned as he took a seat opposite to me and the striking woman.

"Listen Bo, last night you and I had the most amazing- -"

"Last night was last night, I need to talk to my friend here ok? I haven't seen her in a while. Wes she's sick, like 6 months to live sick."

"Five Actually…" the woman beside me chimed in making stare at her boldness as she held back a smile.

"Alright, alright… hey, sorry about…well you know…" the blonde man commented towards my new company and she nodded blushing.

I watched him leave painfully aware of how close this striking woman was to me. I mustered up the courage to put on my best charm and from the lack of recognition in the blonde's face, I gathered this was a blank slate that just looked like my Lauren. I would never mistake this aura but it was actually impossible for it to be my Doctor. So as much as I wanted to grab her, kiss her and tell her how much I loved her and missed her I withheld so I wouldn't startle this newcomer.

"Sorry about killing you, the whole 6 months thing—sorry 5… that was a nice touch, the 5 months!" I complimented her as she blushed.

"I'm good at thinking on my feet." She admitted as I chuckled.

"I'm Bo." I offered along with my hand as she smiled shifting her glasses up the bridge of my nose and took my hand.

I almost missed her name from the feeling that swept through me when we touched but I was lucky. It seemed this woman that looked, smelled and felt like Lauren called herself Andrea. I knew I should've called it a night and gone home. Andrea was only going to rehash old painful memories of the woman I loved, but I was a sadistic fuck it seemed and here I was pulling her towards the bar and ordering two Rum and Cokes in spite of her protest. When she grimaced at the drink I chuckled and offered something else but she shook her head. I took her in once more knowing that if I continued with this I was playing with fire.

"Woo" she exclaimed after taking her drink and I chuckled.

"Too strong?" I asked with a smirk and she shook her head looking at her glass with a smirk.

"I just hadn't had one in a while." She admitted and I nodded understanding.

"Are you from here?" I asked wanting to know more about this stranger but she shook her head.

"I'm a tourist, I'm spending some time here at the beach to clear my head." Andrea explained while I took in her features.

Every line, wrinkle, and beauty mark exactly as I remembered it on my lover was on this woman's face not a day older. It was uncanny and scary and yet I couldn't possibly pull away. I was like a moth to a flame, fascinated with how similar this felt, being in this woman's presence. I was sure I had finally snapped and gone crazy but then Andrea's voice came through the fog of thoughts.

"what are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm….regarding you." I admitted as she smiled.

"I feel like I'm being analyzed." She admitted with a smile and a curious look that made my heart race.

"Like the glasses." I winked at her and she blushed looking away.

"Are you from here?" she asked trying to change the subject and I smiled shaking my head.

"I'm not, I guess I'm just a tourist like you. I'm just here to have fun." I admitted as she nodded.

Suddenly a song I had not heard in forever came on and I felt the electricity of energy in the room flow through me. I didn't know if it was the alcohol or the company but I felt drunk with excitement as I swayed to the music. I hadn't felt this buzz along my body in ages and Lauren or not, I had decided I like this girl's company. Whether it would do me more harm than good remained to be seen but tonight I just wanted to have fun.

I grabbed her hand and despite much of her protests she danced with me a couple of songs. She wasn't very into it at first, I suspected she was shy but in due time she was swaying away with me. I had also noticed Andrea was Fae but I decided to remain subdued about my origins for the meantime. I didn't wanna use my thrall, compulsion or anything of the like amongst so many humans and somehow I didn't wanna use it on her either. So as we came closer with the music I held her close, out hips moved in unison and my heart hammered faster than I remembered it doing. I was drunk with her scent now that we were so close and I couldn't understand what to make of it. Once a slow dance came on she untangled herself from me and ran off the exit. I stood there perplexed for a minute deciding if I was to give chase. My feet moved along before my mind caught up and I pushed the heavy exit door before the night air hit me.

I noticed Andrea sitting under a street lamp in the back alley. I walked over trying to calm myself as I looked for the words to say. She was taking deep breaths and looking at the puddles of the night as I approached cautiously. It was pouring now and she was just sitting under the rain getting poured on. I yelled to get her attention startling her.

"Hey, why did you run away?" I asked and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I've just… I've never been with a woman before…" she mentioned shyly and I held back a chuckle.

"That's alright, it's normal to feel nervous." I admitted sitting next to her on an electric box. "I don't wanna push you into anything you've never done."

"I want to do **so many** things I've never done before…" she sighed with a wishful look.

"Well, I've heard San Junipero is a party town. There's tons of things to do, we can find one that you haven't done before for sure." I flirted as I saw her aura spike even more than the attraction ever present since she saw me.

The feeling of this aura was so familiar yet different that it edged me on to push Andrea and see what this night could bring.

"This night is all up for grabs... Why waste time sitting here?" I asked as my hand moved suggestively to her mid tight squeezing in a straight forward way pushing my luck as it was.

I saw her aura spike to a deep lovely golden hue as I smiled at her stuttering while she hopped off the box. I knew she was trying to reject me politely so I tried to make it easier for her. Perhaps I had pushed too hard too soon.

"It's alright really…" I offered and she looked back horrified.

"No, no it's not like that… you're lovely and I just…" she sighed fighting for her thoughts. "I'm engaged, his name is Red."

The words were like a kick to my gut but then again perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea. This would keep me from getting too involved into a situation that would probably end badly.

"And is Red here?" I asked.

"No he's…" she drifted away looking into my eyes and my smile perked up.

"Elsewhwere?" I offered and the blonde nodded her head looking at her feet.

"Yeah…"

"Wanna come to my place? Go to bed with me?" I pondered. "we could be back at mine just like that."

"I… never did anything like that" she admitted and I nodded with another smile. I just couldn't help the attraction to this woman as my Succubus growled at her familiar scent.

"All the more reason…" I challenged and her lust spiked even more.

"I can't." she shook her head and I nodded.

"Ok" I decided to let this go, if Andrea's aura was any indication, this wasn't finished tonight.

"I just… I can't" she admitted painfully. "I have to go…"

"In this downpour…?" I asked incredulous.

"It's been really great to meet you…" she mentioned offering her hand to me again.

"Likewise" I whispered with a smile as we shook hands deeply intrigued with what just happened as she walked away.

I looked up at the neon blue sign that adorned the name of the bar we had just met in. The hue covered me in the alley and there I pondered on what had just happened. Was Tucker's in my new home of San Junipero purgatory? Was I paying for the things I had done with this reflection of the woman that I loved? The woman I had tried so hard to supress so I could get my life together; therefore the sole reason for my nomadic ways. As I watched the blonde disappear in the darkness my mind screamed at me a warning for the umpteenth time. I knew this could get ugly, this wasn't Lauren; but I simply couldn't help myself.


	2. Chapter 02: The Girl

**Thanks to all of you who have read and commented, I really appreciate the feedback and it motivates me to continue. To all of you wondering what happens next, go on... :)**

 **This story has come into my mind with no handle. It is literally flying out as fast as I sit with the laptop and SuccubusShinobi plays jams. Please remember to read and review for more efficiency on the updates!**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 02: The Girl**

I had been at the beach for hours with no end, losing myself in the waves, the breeze and the sand. I had not slept well at night just awake thinking about Lauren's face as I remembered it, so I needed this more than any other time. Because I went to bed half drunk on the sights and sounds of what felt like a dream of a woman I had lost and a life far gone. By coffee time I had begun thinking that in some twisted way my brain had warped the images it saw into this mirage of the person I needed the most. If I ever even saw Andrea again, she'd probably be a whole different person than what my brain imagined last night.

Or at least that's what I told myself for the umpteenth time as I shook dumping the remaining Jack Daniels on the sand. I didn't want to be drinking, it's what made me hit the road, so I wasn't going to keep tempting myself as I convinced myself a drink here and there wasn't going to hurt. The truth was that after last night I needed all the sobriety I could get. I leaned back onto the blanket I had pitched myself early in the morning and decided that I would just not think of anything and hopefully this was a one-time thing. Andrea said she was a tourist after all and I could bet that Tuckers wasn't the only place for a Rum and Coke in San Junipero. With a sigh I convinced myself that I had warped the whole incident in my mind. The mixture of booze, sexual energy, and who knows what finally getting to me I presumed. With that my eyes closed as I felt the breeze tingle my sweat covered skin as I felt the sun baking my figure.

 _I basked in the afterglow of the fireworks that had adorned the city skyline before turning my eyes to the object of my affection. I was glad that I was leaning against the wall while looking at Lauren doing the dishes because the admiration made me weak in the knees. This woman was everything I wanted and then some. I remembered when we met, how I took note that the Doctor had been the only one to ask me politely rather than ordering me around. Sure I was Fae and she was human, but back then she had the advantage when I knew nothing of myself._

 _I cleared my throat and when she turned around my eyes met her tear streaked ones. I rushed to her and pulled her to my chest quickly but she pushed me away gently. The whole mood in my head was gone and now I was worried sick about what had my lover in shambles. Lauren sniffled and grabbed a tissue clearing her nose and calming down before meeting my eyes._

 _"_ _I blacked out yesterday." She mentioned in a monotone voice as I cringed._

 _"_ _What? Lauren-"_

 _"_ _Yeah Bo, I didn't tell you because I was scared shitless ok?" Lauren gruffed at me and I flinched._

 _"_ _Is it getting worse?" I whispered and she nodded. "We'll find a trea-"_

 _"_ _No Bo, I'm done." Lauren interrupted me and I stood frozen to my spot._

 _"_ _Please don't…" I breathed as I felt my whole world shatter._

 _"_ _I know this tumour is going to keep growing Bo. It's not getting smaller that's for sure." Lauren mentioned pointing at her head. "I cannot sit here and pretend to be alright while I deteriorate into nothing and you watch me die."_

 _Her words slapped me like a cold bucket of water and I shook my head in disbelief as a sob escaped my lips. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't lose Lauren… not like this…_

 _"_ _That's the problem Bo… I'm not ready… for any of this to become reality…"_

 _"_ _Shhh come on Lauren" I tried but she pushed me away._

 _The blonde woman in front of me looked tired. Her eyes were distant and her lips trembled looking far away. I wanted to reach and pull her into my arms but that's where she had freed herself from. Her jawbone was defined as she gritted her teeth and I saw a determination in her eyes that scared me like it had never scared me before._

 _"_ _Not this time Bo… I cannot keep living in this uncertainty." Lauren's voice was final and frightening and I could've sworn I was having a panic attack as I breathed harder than ever and everything faded from focus._

"haaaaaaaaa" I woke up with a gasp as I panted from the memory that felt like it belonged it my deepest darkest nightmares.

I was covered in sweat and it had nothing to do with the sun as it had already ducked under the horizon and only hues of orange and pink remained. I panted heavily as I held my chest and tears fell from my eyes as my heart beat faster and faster in that painful way it did back in the city. For a moment my fingers twitched wanting to call Dyson, I wondered if perhaps all of this was an omen and I needed to call home. I shook my head of the thought as the pain in my heart intensified as this gut wrenching feeling swept over me as I replayed that conversation in my mind over and over again through the years that followed it. After that talk things were never the same with Lauren and I, and even when she was by my side her mind would be elsewhere until… I cringed as a sob escaped me and I let the tears and cries escape me freely.

I don't know how long I was crying until I heard the shifting of sand around me. I wanted to look up but I was suspicious that I looked absolutely horrible. I could only stop crying enough as to come to hiccups.

"Are… are you ok?" I was startled looking up as I fell silent.

There was a beautiful black woman in front of me with waves upon waves of dark curls, luscious full lips and a concerned look in her gentle eyes. She wore a bright pink bikini as she leaned over me expecting an answer and I could see the beads of salt water on her cocoa cream skin. I could see far away behind her a fiery redhead in a blue bikini and a towel holding her hat in place and looking at us wearily.

"Yeah… yeah I think I'm ok" I nodded trying to convince them and myself. "I didn't mean to ruin your beach day."

"No it's no problem… as long as you're ok" the redhead noted concerned as well as she joined the other woman.

"…But you're not ok." The dark haired woman noted and I let out a shaky sigh.

"I'm sure I will be at some point." I shrugged trying to not disturb this pair any longer.

"Baby, how about you bring the car around to where the docs are?" the darker woman mentioned sweetly to the red head and the latter gave her a fond look and a nod before walking away with purpose.

I stared at the black woman as I watched her watch her lover walk away. There was no mistaking on my part the shine in their auras and how attuned they were to one another. It hurt to see this kind of connection while missing my own but I couldn't be selfish and expect other people to be miserable when I was. It was just one of those things that people don't expect or understand about a Succubus.

"I don't want to pry, but I'm not leaving you alone either. You look like you could use a friend and I like to make those. So no, before you ask we're not going anywhere if you're not coming. My name is Kelly." the woman smiled with an extended hand and I took it touched by the gesture.

"I'm Bo." I offered as I shook her hand and a pleased triumphant smile crossed her face.

"Bo… I had a friend who was friends with a Bo." Kelly smiled and I chuckled.

"I hadn't met anybody with my name yet so who knows." I admitted.

"Are you a tourist, Bo?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I bought the house on the cove." I admitted as her smile widened brightly.

"I was the old owner of that house. Yorkie and I moved-in together recently so I had no need for it any longer." Kelly admitted and I chuckled shaking my head and wiping my tears away. This world would show you twist and turns you wouldn't imagine.

"It's a lovely house." I admitted as she nodded.

"Oh yeah, it is. We have a bigger one by the forest that edges the beach. Yorkie calls it a two-in-one 'cause you can relax in either environment. You should see it sometime." Kelly smiled as I mirrored it.

"You mean it, that you're not leaving me alone?" I pondered as Kelly's smile widened brightly.

"Not a chance sugar pie. I know that look on your face and I've been there so no, I'm not letting a broken hearted Succubus drown her sorrows at the beach." Kelly admitted and I gasped.

"You don't smell Fae." I rationalized as Kelly's smile widened.

"That's the beauty of my kind, we blend in pretty well. Yorkie is another tale for another time, but let's just say she's not your average Fae." Kelly explained as I marvelled at this turn of events. "A Succubus named Bo sounds awfully a lot like the stories Vex had been gracing us with."

I tensed with the admission but Kelly didn't miss a beat.

"No worries, he's not here and it's not like we're the pen and paper kind of people Bo. Your privacy is safe with us, on my blood oath." Kelly promised as I sighed.

"I guess this is the part where I pack my stuff and follow you?" I asked as I saw a red convertible pull to the docks with a subtle honk of the horn.

"I'd do it if I was you. You look like you need some friends." Kelly stated as she helped me pick up my stuff.

"My car?" I asked again as Kelly smiled.

"It's San Junipero, you can leave it there, keys in, windows down and find it there in a month." Kelly explained.

I chuckled knowing you would never be able to do such a thing in the city and followed Kelly to where the docks were and undoubtedly Yorkie. Once we reached the car the redhead popped out of the front seat after opening the trunk and with a smile she took my belongings placing them in the trunk.

"I'm Yorkie." She offered with a handshake after everything was in, including my umbrella.

"Thanks, I'm Bo." I nodded and Yorkie gave me a smile.

"Kelly has a knack for finding people in distress." Yorkie smiled and winked at Kelly who poked her tongue out and got in the car.

Once the three of us were in the car she turned in her seat and smiled. I could tell she was plotting something but I wasn't quite sure what. I had no time to ponder on what had happened last night or beyond in the past from that, for right now I was intrigued at this new adventure.

"Bo… I don't care if you tell me your story now or later, but I need to know what's eating you even if it's a snipped so I don't aggravate you further." Kelly offered and I nodded.

"Before we get into this… Kelly, hon where should I drive to?" Yorkie asked flashing me a smile through the mirror.

"Take us to my old house, Bo lives there now. She might want to get changed before we leave **leave."** Kelly giggled and I perked an eyebrow.

"Leave **leave?"** I asked in wonder.

"Yeah, no worries we'll come back. We always do." Yorkie interjected with a smile and I nodded in approval as she took off.

"So… give me the rundown." Kelly insisted and I sighed looking out the window at the ocean passing by.

"I had a very special person in my life… someone I cared for as much as you two do of each other. And… I… I-" my lips trembled as my words disappeared into the wind that came with the speed of the vehicle.

"I see… you don't have to finish Bo." Kelly admitted with kindness. "Was this a long time ago or just recent?"

"A long time ago… but I dunno… I feel like it happened just yesterday…" I admitted for the first time in my life.

"Well then… I can see how you're a mess girl. Let's see what we can do for you." Kelly said righting herself to look forwards as Yorkie gave her a meaningful glance and they held hands.

It wasn't long before I had changed and we were on the road again. Kelly and Yorkie had helped me pack a big duffle bag because they were taking me somewhere for a bit. I felt like in the city this would feel like a kidnapping, but there was something about Kelly and Yorkie's demeanour that I could feel deep within me they would not try to harm me. In the end, like a wise man said ' _A Succubus is not without power, I am my own weapon'_.

Kelly had taken the wheel while Yorkie manned the tunes and she talked to me about a time when Kelly had saved her from an arranged marriage. There were a lot of groans and giggles in the car and it actually felt nice to have some company other than my loneliness. I laughed with the story and noted the subtle little things they did with one another, like their hands and kisses and little shoves in the arm. Someone might think this was the last thing I needed at a time like this, but it was quite the opposite. This reminded me that what Lauren and I had was real, tangible and it had actually happened. I was blessed with finding love at least once in the long lifetime I had.

"Bo, I have this childhood friend…" Yorkie started full of innuendo before Kelly elbowed her and give her 'a look'. "Oh yea…"

"No, it's quite alright Yorkie. Kelly, really you're being too harsh on her." I smiled as I squeezed Kelly and Yorkie's shoulders.

"I appreciate the offer Yorkie but I don't think I'm that ready to date just yet." I admitted.

"I'm not saying do it, or pushing you to do so… but think about it this way: You don't have to fall in love, you can always just have fun and good company." Yorkie advised and I smiled whistling in approval of her message.

"Wow babe, that was really great advice!" Kelly replied with a proud smile.

The beautiful landscape was changing before my eyes and it had turned rocky and bushy despite the ocean background. This place was really magical and I was glad I was getting the chance to explore it. The conversation died down as the tunes took charge of the space and we all took in the breeze the Oceanside had to offer. Good company? I used to know someone that was amazing company no matter what.

 _It was a rare warm day in the city and I intended to make the best of it. After the few cases I finished closing I walked the half block to my favourite bar. Now that it was warm I enjoyed the sun on my skin through the tank top and vest I was wearing. My stomach was doing flips as I checked my phone for messages and finding none, I hurried my pace. When the host saw me he nodded and pointed at the back patio to where my favourite spot was._

 _At a table in the corner with her nose in a book was the love of my life. Her blonde hair cascaded around her shoulders as it shone in the sun with the warm breeze. The patio was full and the lull of conversation was around us but I could only focus on her. The sundress she wore was perfect in all the right places and her creamy skin and strong arms were on display. I felt my chest swell with pride and I sighed happily before walking behind her and surprising her with a kiss on her shoulder._

 _"_ _Mmmm, I missed you." Lauren's caramel voice wrapped around me as her hand found my face for a simple caress before putting her book down._

 _"_ _Likewise." I breathed against her ear and she shivered and pulled my arms to wrap around her._

 _I was glad for the seating being bench chairs since I would be able to straddle the wood and drape my arms around her. With a content sigh I positioned myself and nuzzled my lover's neck happily while she giggled. I knew it was moments like this that I wanted to remember forever, as the Doctor leaned against me and kissed my neck while playing with my locks softly._

 _"_ _The lab has been a drag today because I've missed you so much." Lauren mentioned as I smiled and squeezed her waist tighter._

 _"_ _Well, maybe you can take me to work at some point or I could drop by and make your work more exciting." I purred licking her earlobe as she giggled and shrank back from me looking at me with surprise through the caramel eyes I loved so much._

 _"_ _Then I wouldn't get any work done at all." Lauren noted and I laughed._

 _"_ _Perhaps you're right." I chuckled and she shook her head looking at me from dazed eyes full of love and lust._

 _"_ _No, Bo. I am right, you're my Succubus full of self-control and wishful thinking until…" she pressed her lips to my ear and I shivered as she talked from the breath on my skin "until I spread my legs and you feel the warmness of my desire for you."_

"Here we are!" Kelly announced loudly and I pulled up from the backseat in a daze.

It seemed I had fallen asleep again with the trip and even though I'd worry in other circumstances the black sky above us and the lights in the distance to what looked like a wooden cabin. Yorkie looked back from her seat, it looked she had fallen asleep at some point as well and had just woken up. She gave me a reassuring smile and reached for Kelly's hand. I returned it trying to hide the pain that the recent dreams were bringing. Things were muddled and not the same, but I couldn't deny that they were mostly memories of a time I felt alive.

We pulled to a complete stop in front of the cabin and quietly we all got out of the car. The woods smelled a mixture of musty and salty making it pretty unique.

"Here we go! The Cabin is always a great time to reflect. We can go for a hike into the sand formations tomorrow. We'll show you a good time, promise!" Kelly assured me as I looked around in the darkness.

"Sounds good." I admitted as I followed them into the porch of the cabin.

The woods around us were covered by shadows but I could smell the mustiness and wood around me. It smelled absolutely green but I could also hear the beach in the distance. I sighed as I entered the cabin, happy that I went on a whim and followed the two damsels here. The cabin itself was all wood with a stainless steel kitchen adorned by black marble. It was breathtaking. I dropped my things and took my shoes off in the doorway but what drew me in was the chimney in the middle of the cabin.

"Make yourself at home Bo, this is a small cabin some of the Fae up here share. Like a timeshare if you will. This month is our turn, but do let me know if you want to be included." Kelly mentioned as I nodded with a smirk.

"I suppose we need approval from the Ash?" I mumbled as Kelly shook her head.

"Oh no, this is Dark Fae territory. Also, our Morrigan is much more lenient with light and dark shit. He is the most admiring of you and your battles." Yorkie clarified and I nodded processing everything.

"Is this a ploy to get me to meet him?" I asked suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"What—no! no… We just want to help." Kelly assured as she shook her hands and head. "I've… I've lost someone along the way as well Bo. Before Yorkie all I wanted was to have fun and not think about what I had lost. It was painful every day and I recognized myself in you. I couldn't just leave you there."

"Oh." I whispered watching as Kelly gave Yorkie a meaningful look.

"This is what I'm talking about Bo. Not love in your case… but perhaps someone to spend time with? I mean as a Succubus you must need contact?" Yorkie tried and I smiled nodding.

"I see, it's all from a good place then?" I tried to reassure myself.

"Yes, absolutely!" Kelly insisted and I nodded. "You were yelling someone's name pretty loudly at the beach so it worried us."

"I'm sorry…" I breathed as Yorkie shook her head in understanding.

"Don't be, we're just glad to help" Yorkie assured.

"I knew who you were because I'm a Gnapur. I can identify and understand another Fae within sight." Kelly explained and it all clicked in my head.

"Lauren always said that you were coveted by the militia in a way that was hard to understand for anyone that had not seen an ancient Fae battleground. She would've loved to meet you." I mentioned in a soft tone while Kelly and Yorkie shared a look.

"Do you want to talk..?" Kelly started but I shook my head negative.

"I'm sure Bo will tell us when she's ready sweetheart." Yorkie smiled hugging Kelly from behind.

"So… I'm pooped from that drive. Can I rest assured you can make yourself at home?" Kelly asked as I nodded.

"Yeah I feel like I've slept too much, I'll probably shower and read a book." I mentioned and smiled at the ladies before bidding them goodnight.

"Make yourself at home Bo." Yorkie pleaded and I nodded.

The place was cozy and I liked it, it was secluded and relaxing. San Junipero was full of surprises and this one was a great gem. I had found my room in the top of the house, it was decorated a greyish blue and a seashells theme. It seemed inviting but I had decided I had slept too long today and my dreams were just too real right now. I opened the duffel bag I brought up with me and walked down to the living room with the chimney. Kelly and Yorkie had already retired for their bedroom and I felt myself get lost in the adventures of the pages the more I read by the fire.

I wasn't sure if it was the hike, the beach, the zip lining or the caves we had gone to visit, but my muscles hurt and my skin was toasted. I was active and occupied enough that I felt good. I had seen beautiful landscapes and beaches and I missed my home. Luckily the change on my demeanour was noticed by my companions and the trip had come to a close. Kelly had to get back to her dance studio, while Yorkie was a freelance photographer for the town's newspaper.

I had learned they were planning this getaway for months, but at the sound of my cries they couldn't leave me behind. I was one of Vex's friends after all and now I smirked at how faith smiled upon me with his friendship. I had thought of Vex often, he was after all the brother I never wanted but always had around. Many times this week I wondered where was he and what was he up to, but I wasn't quite ready for the pain calling home would bring just yet. I had barely recovered from that Andrea/Lauren encounter.

The more the days went by the more it blurred in my mind as a trick my melancholic heart was giving me. Kelly had informed me that Tucker's usually had 'era night' on Saturdays and that I just happened to find myself within the 80's night the other night. I had a good laugh thinking about what would've happened if I had walked in on Disco night or something. I was planning to go to the 90's night this Saturday and see how the local bar changed with the theme.

The drive back started with lots of energy but in the end we were lulled to silence by the radio playing its tunes and as I watched the landscape changing in front of me. I was distracted by Yorkie turning around in her seat. I gave her a smile as she smiled at me as well and we chuckled.

"So Bo… now that my phone finally works…" Yorkie started as I raised an eyebrow to see where this conversation was going. "My friend from childhood will be in town for another two weeks…"

"Jesus Lord Yorkie!" Kelly admonished with an incredulous chuckle and I laughed myself.

"What!? I like Bo, she's my friend, I want her to have fun!" Yorkie defended herself.

I drew in a sigh with a look up to the clear blue sky and the clouds flying by us. I let Yorkie's words wash over me. It had been so long since I had a friend. These were two people connected to my past through the thinnest string of recognition and yet here we were. Same place, same time as they rescued me from the abyss.

"You know…" I sighed not believing my own lips. "I'll give it a shot… I mean, it's like you said the other day… I don't have to fall in love, I can just have good company."

"Atta girl!" Yorkie celebrated as Kelly gave me a bright smile through the rear-view mirror.

I was nervous and that was unlike me, however I hadn't gone out like this in years. I was meticulous with my makeup and my hair was in perfect waves framing my face. I had finished applying the lip stain that I adored so much when my phone vibrated on the dresser. I took a big sigh and looked at the phone. I unlocked the picture I had taken at the peak of the mountain that Kelly and Yorkie had taken me to and saw it was a text message.

 ** _Reservation for 2 The Pacific Wall_**

 ** _8:00pm; 27E Main ST, San Junpr_**

 ** _Her name is Laurel, reservation is under McCorrigan_**

 ** _-Yorkie_**

I rolled my eyes at the irony but I didn't let the panic rat of memories come out of its cage. I slammed the door on it and reminded myself that I was here, a tourist just passing by wanting to have fun. With a big sigh and another look at my outfit I decided this was as good as I was going to look. I had donned the tightest black pants I had with a form fitting tank showing off my cleavage, the elegance came from the black blazer that framed my figure while still showing off my assets. The black knee high boots might've been over-kill but I felt good and I wanted to look it. With one last look at the clock I pushed the last pang of regret at my activities tonight and walked out the door towards my Jeep.

I had hoped the whole way I wasn't underdressed and I was glad to find out that I wasn't. I walked in quoting the reservation details Yorkie had sent me with nervousness. The host smiled and assured me my companion hadn't arrived yet and walked me to a table out under the night sky by the patio. I chuckled at the beautifulness of the setting as I heard the lullaby of the tree frogs in the night around me. I asked for a non-alcoholic beer to be on the safe side remembering what really had gotten me over the hurdle to be here.

 _The heat of the mountain was making its way from the floor to my face. It was scorching today as we hiked but I welcomed the physicality of it all. I hadn't trained in a long time, and I needed to get back into form. If I could find friends of Vex and the Morrigan's that knew of my feats there could be trouble far away as well just lurking. I dusted my hands from the excess chalk from the climb and I felt a pat on my back as Yorkie joined me at the edge._

 _"_ _What did I tell you about this view? I know the climb it kind of hard, but it's totally worth it" Yorkie pressed as I smiled._

 _"_ _Totally! I'm pretty excited to see all this, thanks for including me in your plans. I mean, I was just a stranger crying on the beach" I chuckled as Yorkie shook her head with amusement._

 _"_ _Well, Kelly is quite the bleeding heart Bo." Yorkie chuckled. "I had never met anyone more caring than her she made it so easy to fall in love with her."_

 _I closed my eyes in pain as I remembered how it felt to just talk to someone who understood you. I missed that connection and as much as I wanted to find it again, I was sure the blonde woman was it. Yorkie place her arm comfortingly on my shoulder as I smirked softly._

 _"_ _I didn't mean to-"_

 _"_ _No, it's alright. I cannot pretend everyone to stop living around me. What you and Kelly have is special and I miss it, but I'm also glad I can see people experiencing it." I admitted with a nod._

 _"_ _I get that. I was very sad when I got to San Junipero too. I hadn't lived much to be honest, not completely. I was the girl that time forgot for a long time as the town grew without me… Out of nowhere Kelly just sweeps me off my feet making me experience things I never thought possible." Yorkie admitted._

 _"_ _Sounds like a fairy tale." I admitted as she smiled at me._

 _"_ _Well, it started out as a sci-fi more than a romance but here we are" Yorkie joked and I laughed out loud. Really laughed out loud like I hadn't in a long time._

 _"_ _Don't we all live in a sci-fi with all this Fae shit going around?" I joked back and we fell into a comfortable silence._

 _Lauren would love this view… and if I knew her ever she would've loved this place, these girls and their kindness… She would love this whole town and I would love her in it. I sighed for the first time feeling peace in this vast wilderness. Lauren had always wanted my happiness, and now… now what? Would I disgrace her memory by hindering it? She had given me everything she had and I needed to move forward; not only for myself but for her memory as well._

"Well what a surprise!" the voice reached my ears bringing me out of my revere as I looked up.

I fought for my jaw to not drop in slack as I met the caramel brown eyes of the company I had tonight. My heart hammered in my chest as my breath caught in my throat and I forgot all sense of time, space and language as I stared at the woman before me. She was wearing a simple ensemble of dark pants a deep blue halter top covered by the worn black leather jacket of her choice. Her dark blonde hair was straightened in a unusually familiar way and her eye glasses were gone to show off the beautiful subtle smoky make-up she wore. The smile that adorned her lips was a pleasant one and I couldn't help but return it without thought. My body was acting on impulse by the effect this woman had on me. This was definitely not a mirage.

"Hello there… Andrea? I thought my date was with Laurel." I tried to joke to calm my racing heart as she took a seat with a deep chuckle making me melt.

"Laurel is correct. Andrea is a name I use on Saturdays" she winked with a joke as I melted right on the spot.

Was I really having a date with the woman I had lost?

"Have you waited for me long?" the blonde asked with a blush creeping to her cheeks.

"I haven't really even gotten my beverage yet so you're right on time." I smiled feeling the flirtatious bubble rise within me in spite of the warnings my brain was giving me.

"Perfect! I'm sorry about the lateness, really." Laurel mentioned and I waved her off.

The waiter came and went with my drink as she ordered a soda with lemon. She seemed edgier than the woman who captured my heart but classy like her in a way. I started to ponder if she was as smart as the woman of my past, when I realized I wasn't being fair to her at all. Yes; this was a special circumstance, but when it came down to it, I was comparing her to the greatest love of my life.

"Bo?" I heard the beautiful melodic tone reach my ears.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked bashfully as I had been caught staring at my companion.

"I asked what brought you to San Junipero." Laurel asked again, her brown eyes full of curiosity.

"Didn't you have a fiancé?" I blurted out with a mischievous smile as she turned a deep shade of red.

"It's complicated." Laurel determined with a small reserved smile and I chuckled.

"As in ' _not here'_ complicated?" I pressed wanting to know more about this.

"Perhaps." The blonde shrugged with a look meeting my eyes that scorched me. "Or perhaps it'd be accurate that my friend said there was a certain Succubus I needed to meet… and even more accurate than that, would be to stipulate that such Succubus had captured my attention before."

I swallowed to relieve my dry throat before gulping a few sips of my non-alcoholic beer before taking a deep breath and giving the blonde in front of me a seductive smile. I liked this woman's wit, her quickness about her words suggested literally intelligence and I couldn't quite wait to get big words out of her mouth. Her aura was burning with an intense, steady shimmer that I absolutely adored already.

"What have you heard of me then?" I asked curiously.

"What everyone has heard, basically… that you are a Goddess amongst mortals defending humans and Fae alike. Unaligned, unattainable and untameable." Laurel quoted spinning her wine around in its glass with a smirk before meeting my eyes once more.

"That's a tough resume to follow, I'll admit that much." I smiled leaning into the table until we were inches apart feeling the heat of the candlelight. "Do you believe everything you hear?"

"Not quite." Laurel breathed inches from me as I felt myself wet my bottom lip in anticipation.

"Good… Because not all of that is true." I whispered looking from her eyes to her lips trying to control how much I wanted to kiss this woman already. The aura, the vision, the intelligence everything was resonating within my soul and I couldn't cope with how to handle it.

With my heart pounding I walked into the stall. I had asked her to excuse me while I went to the bathroom and she obliged. I breathed hard as I tried to contain myself in a sane space. This woman had to be related to Lauren in some way or something because she not only looked like her, but the attraction I felt for her was as powerful as Lau's. With a shaky breath I threw fresh water on my face and as I was grabbing a paper towel I could see the object of my conundrum walking through the doors.

"I don't usually do this… not with women and like I said I'm engaged and-" Laurel stopped abruptly as I stared at her through the mirror in the small bathroom stall. "I can't stop thinking about you."

It hurt to look at her but at the same time I could not look away. The blonde was beautiful and I was sure I wouldn't be able to bare it…and yet my eyes stayed planted firmly on hers as she looked for the words in her head. _This is hard for me too; you look like the long lost love of my life._ I wanted to add, but reserved it.

"I don't know how to do this Bo… Can you.. just make this easy for me?" Laurel asked in a way that was almost begging and yet not begging at all. It was need I recognized and something in me ignited that I thought lost long ago.

In that moment as I saw the vulnerability in her caramel eyes as they met mine and I moved to caress her face as she held my hand there. My body shook with the contact as I brazed myself for the flood of memories this would trigger. But that would be later and I would deal with it in the solitude of my thoughts because right now I had more pressing matters like the golden aura in front of me begging for my touch.

"Do you wanna go to bed with me?" I asked certain and all it took was a nod of her head and we were gone.


	3. Chapter 03: Help Me Lose My Mind

**This story has come into my mind with no handle. It is literally flying out as fast as I sit with the laptop and SuccubusShinobi plays jams. Now that I finally have internet, just make sure to sit back and enjoy lovelies.**

 **I also want to take note on some of you who have noticed that the story is laced with the Black Mirror Episode of San Junipero. I understand that some of you hold the episode close to your heart and it is only because I do so as well that I have been inspired by that work. It's been such an inspiration for this that I have it in as high regard as the ladies we all love so much from Lost Girl. Think of this as my nod and homage to that work as I twist and weave it into the Fae Succubus (Doccubus) loving space we've all come to enjoy. Even though I make allussions to such world I am taking the setting space of it and not the whole concept. So enjoy the mystery that surrounds this fic and buckle up for the ride with all the twists and turns you've all become used to getting with me.**

 **Remember, any shououts through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 03: Help Me Lose My Mind**

My heart raced even harder as we sped down the road at blazing speeds. If she was scared she never looked it as she kept her eyes on my every move. The blonde looked curious and mysterious, the same yet so different from the Lauren I knew. _Laurel._ I reminded myself that this was not the same woman… _my woman_. Yet I found myself feeling an intense attraction just the same. Before I could ponder more I had parked in front of my house and there we sat on the Jeep listening to the waves crash nearby with the sky full of stars above me.

I suddenly felt shy. This was a stranger after all, no matter how much she looked like Lauren. Laurel was a new person in my life and as bold as I had been until now, I was starting to realize that what I was doing was not only dangerous but wrong. She was engaged and I was living in the shadow of the woman I had once loved. I was about to back out, perhaps offer Laurel a way to escape, I was a Succubus after all and I had probably come on to her too strong.

Just as sudden as the wave crash onto the rock formation, the blonde's lips found my own with a force that was desperate almost. Lost in her lips I melted into the contact in a second of marvel at her scent, her taste, and the plushness of her lips. So alike that it transfixed me and the Succubus growled in guilty pleasure as the blonde bunched up my shirt pulling me closer. I had to take a moment to breathe, to open my eyes and realize this was not who I thought I was kissing, and yet her lips felt so familiar I wanted to just give in. Before I lost my mind I pushed her away gently from me as her caramel eyes met my own, full of the haze of lust that made her aura shine the thick golden colour I had grown to adore.

"Let's go inside" I breathed as the blonde nodded licking her lips and smiling from the kiss.

I wanted to think about this as I opened the door and led her inside, but instead I was hyperaware of her every move. Our fingers had laced somewhere between the car and the door and now I led her into the living room where I let go of her to take off my shoes. She looked lovely in my house, and quite frankly I put away the pain in my heart for a later time from the _'what if's'_. Like Yorkie had said, tonight didn't have to be about falling in love, I could have a good time and see what happened. The company had definitely been interesting so far. I chose to ignore the other strange circumstances.

"It's gorgeous in here Bo." Laurel breathed from the centre of the room as I took her in.

Her blonde hair was to the side now as her curves invited me to drink them and I couldn't quite comprehend the pull the woman had on me. I wanted to differentiate between Lauren and Laurel but the Succubus in me just pushed me forwards until I had her hips secured by my hands. The smile Laurel gave me was shy and yet sexy. It was full of innocence but intent as well and I could feel my resolve melt as I saw her eyes flash with lust once more.

"You gotta show me." She whispered once more as I smiled and nodded before capturing her lips once more.

The dance of our lips was exhilarating as she wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her to me. I could feel myself drink this moment in; her lips, her hips, our sighs, and hands that grasped each other tight while the Succubus in me demanded more. I tried not to think as I wanted to get lost in the moment and the second her tongue parted my lips and I felt our tongues battle, my knees weakened and I was gone like so many times before.

Slowly but surely I led us to my bedroom where shirts, pants , and everything else was stripped off of our bodies in a fit of intense stares and bitten bottom lips. The need in me swelled like a great abyss that I needed to tame before I fell into it with no bottom or end. Before I knew it Laurel was spread out in my bed as I took every inch of her body into my memory as if looking at a mirage. The dark blonde hair was fanned out under her, while I could now see her neck had the tattoo that connected into this amazingly colourful half sleeve making me want to know more about it. Her perfect round breasts looked delectable, as they gave way for the elegant waist and vast hips. I could see a scar on her left hip and another on her shoulder opposite to it masked by the ink. I was intrigued but captivated as I ran a finger from her neck down her shoulders and the valley of her breasts. The blonde moaned in appreciation while grabbing my shoulders and pulling me to her crashing our lips together once more.

"I don't know much about being with another woman, but I know it's rude to stare." Laurel mentioned with humour to her raspy voice as I shivered deliciously from the sound.

"I apologize, but you are gorgeous." I explained meaning it.

I could see her blush under my words as her fingertips drummed against my thigh while I straddled her. The view was amazing from here and I marvelled at what the universe had in store for me. No second chances were given in this cruel Fae world, that much I knew…but damn if this did not feel familiar. I rocked my hips against the blonde underneath me as her lips let out a gasp, and loving the reaction I repeated my ministration while Laurel's fine hands gripped my strong back.

"That feels so good Bo." She whispered in a delirious tone that was all too familiar and that was all it took for my eyes to flash blue as I felt the power surge in me along with the hunger.

I ravaged her neck as my hand found her breast tugging at her nipple gently enough to make her hiss. I followed this with my lips and tongue while she arched into me giving me more access. She smelled like mine, and felt like mine but I was determined to see if she tasted like mine. Without much preamble I shifted my knees and in an expert move my head was between her legs as she shivered under me.

"Please" she begged under me while I breathed a mere inches from her pulsing core.

"May I?" I asked with what was left of my manners, not wanting to take such a bold move with an engaged woman.

"I beg of you Bo…" Her voice dripped with want and with that I was lost to the honey and sweet nectar between her folds.

The energy, the aura, the taste, sound, and lust felt as raw as I remembered it even if it had been decades upon decades in between. This was Lauren to some degree, and I could prove it, at least to myself as I thumbed the delicate swollen mound. I could hear her whimper as I quickened my ministrations knowing that if this was Lauren in some form I'd be able to know from what was about to happen. I switched in one swift movement and entered her slick folds with ease curling upwards while lapping her clit generously.

"Oh…boy…" she breathed raggedly while I felt the shivers run down my body.

I closed my eyes in pure bliss as I moaned deeply within her. The blonde's voice seemed so far away and I only barely registered her walls seizing my digits. The power of the moment enveloping me as the wildness in me took over, I could feel the Succubus take over with no way of stopping what was to come.

If you were to ask me the reason why I left, there really wasn't a concrete one other than the fact that my mind told me to run. I don't quite know if it was self-preservation or just the mere fact that my conscience kicked in after the lapse of judgement. I wasn't quite ready to face the facts, but truth was that I wasn't going to be able to run from this one. The ocean usually calmed me and made me feel invigorated, but today much like my soul it was in turmoil. The waves crashed around, sloshing the foam of the waves in the cold breeze in the same way my mind was doing so to my thoughts. Last night I had lost not only control but recollection of what came next, after realizing the body writhing beneath me was Lauren no matter what. I sighed and got off the hood of the Jeep. I had driven until the gas tank went from F to E and the Jeep stalled in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't in the mood to call for assistance, just in the mood to vanish.

Because even though finding Lauren in some way or form was exhilarating, it presented more problems than answers. If she was still alive why did she never come to see me? I was miserable without her in my life and yet she was living it up in a small beach town pretending to be quaint and forgot about me… With a huge shake of my head I pushed those thoughts away. Because Lauren should've known who I was no matter what, like I could feel it was her. If this was in fact her, I doubted she'd be as cruel as to ignore who I am and fuck me while she was at it. No. Her aura felt real at the date that lasted so short, the lust had been real when we let ourselves go last night and then some. If Lauren didn't remember then it was probably something wrong with her, of that I was almost certain.

 _As long as we're both alive, as long as we're both walking the earth we can't not be together._ I shook my head as the words spoken to me by Lauren in an encounter with some oracles before the final showdown with Hades. Not Lauren per say, but the oracles were required to deliver truth in order to extract truth.

I wanted to know more, to understand what was happening in my life and why had I ran from the gorgeous woman in my bedroom. She was exquisite to say the least and if I closed my eyes I could see her figure in my mind's eye. I shook the memory of her skin away from me, knowing I couldn't give in, I had to get answers.

It didn't take me long to jump in the Jeep and leave the beach side en route to the only place I'd knew answers could be at. Yorkie had been insistent in getting me introduced to Laurel and now that it had happened and I craved more I wanted to understand to what extend did they know what was going on. They had given me their current address and I didn't want to show up there storming in for answers but my mind was driving me insane at this point. I knew it was impossible, but her taste… her Chi couldn't lie.

By the time I rolled by it was night time and the atmosphere had draped a dark sky with stars over the Jeep. It got deeper as I got deeper into the brush and before long I was nearing a beautiful glass and cement two story house lit up with lights. I could see Yorkie's red car in front of the garage and my heart raced. I didn't want to run in there with questions but at this point I had to.

Kelly was surprised by my late visit when she opened the door but her smile was genuine as she led me into the kitchen where I could hear INIX- Need You Tonight blowing from a radio. I smiled as I politely explained I felt like taking a drive and Kelly smiled patting me in the back and announcing my arrival to Yorkie. Now that I was here and I saw I had interrupted them making dinner I didn't want to just spill my problems at their table.

"I probably came at a bad time…" I mentioned as Yorkie smiled brightly at me and waved me off.

"Nonsense… we'll just add another plate, right Kelly?"

"Absolutely love, let me set the table." Kelly smiled as Yorkie moved over to hug me hello.

They buzzed about in the kitchen as I sat in the table looking at them. I missed this kind of energy with Lauren, this symphony of moving about life with someone so attuned to you. I was glad for their company but my mind undoubtedly ran to Laurel as I thought about what she was doing right about now. I liked her laughter and her wit, it was something similar to Lauren, but different in the end so I was in a place that had no knowledge of how things worked with this situation.

Kelly and Yorkie sat with me at the table. As we ate I could admit that the company was putting my mind at ease from the turmoil and craziness of the situation but as dinner drawled on I could sense myself growing tense. I didn't want to spend the night here but I wanted to get answers, so I knew I had to come out with it. I also didn't want to ruin their night, after all I had barged in unannounced. The conversation over greens, mashed potatoes, and meatloaf was Tucker's and their genius system of the club transforming on the weekends to accommodate eras. It was great and I had enjoyed the 80's so far so I was looking forward to seeing the 90's and the millennium.

After dessert we had moved into the living room where Yorkie was playing an old school Atari while sitting by Kelly's feet. I needed to know how to come out with these questions I had of Laurel, of how she was in my life… after all they had introduced me to her. I remembered how I had told them about Lauren and I in the past days while they took me in the retreat that helped me so much. They knew my story from the teachings of what happened in the colonies, the human Doctor and the Succubus was like the Fae's Beauty and the Beast I almost chuckled.

 _I could feel the breeze from the cool crisp air of the forest around the cabin. The birds chirped merrily as we sat down on a fallen log to recover from the exertion of the hike. It was a gorgeous trail that made me feel amazing. Looking at the vastness of the wilderness reminded me a bit of the country side that I grew up in._

 _"_ _Water?" Yorkie offered me and I smiled._

 _"_ _Thanks." I offered her a smile and took the flask full of the cold crystalline liquid. "Lauren would've loved this."_

 _I breathed a sigh of relief after saying her name. Here it almost felt right to think of her and commemorate the moments we shared together. I wanted to remember her this fondly every time I thought about her._

 _"_ _We've heard tales of the human Doctor, of her love for you and your Succubus." Kelly explained. "It sounds quite epic… The Geruda, The Una Mens, The Ancients… Hades…"_

 _"_ _It was a lot to get through, that's for sure." I admitted. "But Lauren's love made me stronger each time. She believed in me from the very beginning. Any time I doubted myself, or I thought I would not get the answers I needed she was there to remind me how special I was."_

 _A sigh left my lips as I savoured the moment of nostalgia that enveloped me as I thought of the first time I felt Lauren's fingers on my skin and smiled._

 _"_ _It sounds like she got you through tough times." Yorkie admired and I smiled._

 _"_ _She sure did. Lauren is amazing." I sighed._

 _"_ _Is she why you're here Bo?" Kelly asked curiously as I nodded._

 _"_ _I… I lost Lauren, it's been a heavy load of years ago… I know it's unlikely that she's still alive but reality is that I can't give up that hope." I admitted as the two women nodded before giving each other a loaded look of love and reminiscence._

Yorkie brought me back to the present handing me a drink which I took with a grateful smile. I loved the politeness of these girls, this quaint little town with its locals felt like home. I was ready to make it my home, but I couldn't concentrate in getting better with a ghost following me over and over. Tasting like Lauren, smelling like Lauren, laughing like Lauren, seducing me like my Doctor. I had to know what was happening before it all blew up in my face sending me in a downward spiral. I couldn't take the disorientation that my mind, heart and body were having. The Succubus wanted Lauren, and she got Lauren even if it wasn't Lauren… but my heart wanted Lauren and knew that if this wasn't her this was playing with fire. Because my mind reminded me over and over again that this felt like Lauren but if it wasn't and this turned sour I could possibly not take losing someone who represented Lauren to me for a second time. I would be destroyed.

"How did the date go Bo? I don't want to meddle into your affairs…" Yorkie asked providing me with the perfect opportunity.

"Then don't Yorkie, she's the one that should know what and what isn't happening there." Kelly corrected but I knew it was now or never.

"It went well actually, thanks for making that possible. I just, I wonder how you thought of us to meet." I disguised my intentions a bit further I didn't want to blow up here like the bull in a china shop I was.

"Well, Laurel has always been adventurous and passionate and I thought that would resonate with you Bo." Yorkie smiled as I nodded with a shrug. I didn't want to mention the engagement to them, I knew Yorkie had a thing for the subject.

"I was actually coming over to see how it was that you knew Laurel…" I asked trying to keep the confrontational Bo tone out of my words.

"Oh, Laurel and I go way back." Yorkie smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Yeah? Is she Fae as well?" I asked a bit more pressingly.

"Well, now that's a question for Laurel don't you think?" Kelly suggested "Don't tell me you were shy."

"Actually, no not really." I blushed as Kelly chuckled and I shook my head.

"I'm just having a hard time. I really like Laurel but she reminds me of someone… I just wanted to know how close you know her." I pressed but a bit more urgently this time.

"Bo… what is this all about?" Kelly asked concerned and I sighed.

Maybe it was the crazy look in my eyes, or perhaps it was the desperation in my voice. Whatever it was, Kelly had picked up on it and wasn't letting it go. I couldn't stop now either as my hands trembled with the knife I had in my boot at all times. If they were scared as I wielded it they didn't show it because they didn't so much as flinch. I gingerly opened the hilt of my knife and from there I unfurled the tattered photograph that I loved so much.

"I need you to look at this." I mentioned as I handed the tattered photo to the girls and their faces grew somber.

"What… what is this?" Kelly asked confused.

"That's a picture of me and Lauren." I explained as Yokie's eyes met mine in disbelief.

"Looks exactly like…" Yorkie whispered as Kelly's face told me she was trying to piece two and two together. Something about her face told me she had something on her mind.

"She looks, tastes, and feels exactly like my Lauren and I'm just… just baffled and I feel like I'm going crazy but clearly I cannot be… right?" I rambled as Yorkie elbowed Kelly. "What is it that I'm not being told?"

"Listen Bo I know you're probably feeling confused here and quite frankly so are we, but we didn't know what Dr. Lewis looked like. She is talked about almost as much as you around these parts but there's no pictures or documentation of her anywhere." Kelly explained "The Morrigan of your area ordered them all vanished and all other Dark counties followed suit along with the Light."

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

"Think about it Bo, it might give other humans ideas." Yorkie explained "Other humans like myself."

"What? But you… you don't smell human and when we went hiking…" I was feeling a headache coming on.

"I went through a treatment Bo… I wanted to be with Kelly for as long as I could. The sparks is not a gene I was born with." Yorkie explained with a small sad smile on her face. "Dr. Katie was the one that made it all happen." Kelly handed me a picture of her own, this time it was of three people. I stared at the picture of that time, that life that seemed so apart from this one now. Lauren's face was bright and smiling in between them as Yorkie and Kelly smiled as well, Yorkie indeed looked younger than now. It was surreal because much like the moment I was living in, Lauren looked different here. Her hair was a dark brunette and her eyes were deeper than I remembered. I could see the sorrow in them masked by her bright smile. She was always good at keeping the pain tucked away deeply.

"Katie was running a focus group for a new vaccine to treat humans intertwined in Fae lives. It was a tough process to get chosen for, because Katie would select the participants herself and there was perhaps 9 of us?" Yorkie remembered as Kelly nodded leaning her head on Yorkie's arm.

"What kind of vaccine was it?" I asked finding my voice. This was Lauren, but what was she doing getting on the hit list of the Fae without protection?

"It was to slow down the aging process in the human lifespan." Kelly admitted with a blush as they shared a fond look before she got animated with the subject and peeled away from the redhead. "Of course Katie didn't advertise it like that, she told that only to the participants."

"With her it made 10 of us." Yorkie explained and I gasped.

"She…she did something to herself?" my voice trembled and Kelly caught on.

"Well… we never got to find out because shortly after the 3rd month of treatment which was meant to be the last the Rebellion Fae found her lab." Yorkie explained with a sigh.

"Baby perhaps we shouldn't…" Kelly mentioned softly as I breathed hard shaking my head.

"No. No, please I need to know." I begged as tears started pouring down my face. "Kelly… I need to know… I think I knew that Katie, not quite sure and I… I'd like to know please"

Maybe it was the desperation in my eyes, or in my voice or perhaps the way I had held their hands with trembling lips begging. Bo the daughter of Hades and the Succubus daughter of the Blood King was desperately begging at their feet.

"Bo… I don't want to hurt you." Kelly mentioned softly caressing my cheek lovingly. It was a beautiful gesture to comfort me as I felt Yorkie squeeze the back of my neck soothingly.

"Wouldn't you want to know if something happened to me?" Yorkie's voice broke the silence siding with me and Kelly looked at her in shock before a smile crossed her face.

"I would… and I guess, you're right you should know." Kelly nodded as I did too. "Be aware we don't know or understand much of it ourselves even at this point."

"I'll take whatever I can get. You know it's been a torture without her. I need to know anything and everything." I admitted and Kelly nodded.

"Katie ushered us all away with plane tickets and passports and all sorts of amenities years ago. Kelly and I couldn't leave her behind, she had become our friend." Yorkie explained as they both took a place on the floor to where I had crumbled.

"Unfortunately we were too late when we got there and we found her shot." Kelly admitted with pain and rage in her voice.

I felt my body go numb as if a bucket of ice water had chilled my veins, if she was dead I would hunt this group down one by one and kill them all, with no mercy or remorse. Yorkie's voice broke my thoughts as I looked at her.

"But shortly after we were sure she was dead and we had cried and wanted to bury her we ran into some trouble."

"Trouble?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The body was not there when we came back from digging a hole for her. We started walking about to see who had moved her or anything and we found… we found this kid." Kelly blurted out and my eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

"Kid?" I asked as Yorkie nodded.

"About nine years old. A kid. She was blonde with big brown eyes and she had the blood soaked clothes on that Katie had. It was huge on her obviously and she looked calmed but confused." The redhead explained as my mind raced.

"A Valkrye?" I asked perplexed as Kelly nodded.

"I had only heard of them in Legend so we were confused for a bit until she started growing a bit faster than usual." Yorkie explained and I sat down on the ground trying to make heads or tails of what was going on.

"So we obviously couldn't leave the kid and social services was out of the question, so we took her in before finding a Valkrye that would raise her…" Yorkie admitted nodding somberly. "I mean we would know nothing about raising a Valkrye."

"About 4 years ago this dark blonde rolls into town looking exactly like Katie. She has some tattoos a different demeanour and she doesn't remember us. We kind of hold back from explaining anything from her past in case she was not the right person but slowly she has regained some stuff. For example, she remembers Yorkie as her childhood friend but can't quite place how she remembers her so vividly." Kelly explained.

"Introduced herself as Laurel, and whom were we to argue?" Yorkie admitted. "To be honest we don't know much more beside that, but we will help you figure out as much as we can."

"Yeah, I mean… if we knew this was the same Lauren you spoke to us about…" Kelly whistled in amazement. "That's San Junipero for you though. You'd probably be amazed at how Yorkie and I found one another. That's a story for a different time though."

"We will help her, right Kelly?" Yorkie insisted and Kelly nodded.

"Absolutely!" Kelly admitted.

A silence enveloped us as I processed all this information. It was blowing my mind how I could perhaps try to put these pieces together to know something of Lauren and what became of her after she disappeared. I was sure this was the same person we were all talking about. I couldn't remember quite well when we had found Tamsin as a child all those decades ago, but if I wasn't mistaken, she had some memory loss in her new life as well. Kenzi had to act as Momma for a while and raised her so this was in no way a stretch.

"What… what was her last name?" I asked as they looked at me confused. "Katie… Dr. what?"

I held onto hope they said Lewis but their answer left me no doubt either way.

"Dennis, Dr. Katie Dennis." Yorkie answered and I actually laughed out loud.

I didn't care if I startled them or not, I had finally figured out I was not insane. It felt good to know I had some sanity left but not only that, that I had not been waiting for a ghost my whole life. I always told myself I'd know if Lauren was gone. I had been sure of it because when the bus hit her, century and then some ago, she was truly gone and I wept because I felt it. It was the same reason I had almost gone insane in Dyson's head. I had truly felt that I had lost Lauren when I lost Flora and I wasn't entirely sure what to come home to without her. Even thinking about losing her by draining her completely saved me from becoming the Dark Queen my Father wanted. Now, I was certain that the glimmer of hope I had held onto was not in vain. It was not futile nor drastic and perhaps, it was why I couldn't love Dyson. Somewhere deep inside my soul knew hers was out there somewhere and San Junipero seemed to have a lot of twists and turns to make it happen again.


	4. Chapter 04: Keep It Close

**I hope you guys like this chapter, a lot of set up being done in these 04 chapters so far. I don't see this being a long story but I hope the quality makes up for the quantity. As always thanks to SuccubusShinobi for proofreading and being my inspiration. I'm here writing my soul out for her. It's been fun exploring what would Bo become after Lauren has left her and I wanted to get a sense of despair in this fic that I feel would overcome our heroine if this were to happen. Please enjoy and review as always! I'm currently trying to aim for in the very least an update a week.**

 **Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 04: Keep it Close**

 _The rain was pouring down on us as I tried futilely to see past my soaked lashes. I felt like we were in the middle of a never ending sea of water just falling from the sky. Maybe it was the powerfulness of the moment; maybe the sky knew the pain in my heart and its rawness and decided to reflect me._

 _"_ _Let me kiss you one last time." I breathed as I saw her blonde hair fall covering her face as she shook her head._

 _"_ _I know what will happen if I kiss you Bo." She whispered and I felt my heart clench as her foot pivoted with the rain drops that were falling._

 _"_ _Lauren wait-"I begged as she shook her head once more._

 _"_ _I cannot wait any longer… I have to go Bo."_

 _"_ _No, you don't." I admitted "We can-"_

 _"_ _I can't stay with you Bo. You said you would respect my decision, so do that." Her tone was crisp but not enough to be sharp and it still felt like the slap in the face it was._

 _"_ _You said you wouldn't do this again… you said 'a mistake I will never make again…' where does that go?" I half quoted half demanded in a last ditch effort._

I woke up with a gasp and covered in a cold sweat beneath the shadow of a hammock, the ocean's crash of waves behind me bringing me back to the present. I grabbed at my chest with a look at the sunny skies wondering if this would last forever. It couldn't…could it? The pain of losing Lauren and the never ending memories of our life together kept replaying in my head over and over again. Ever since I had slept with Laurel, my head was just a mess of memories and the doubts that swallowed me. It was why I had isolated myself for a bit, I needed to get my bearings about me. Nothing but the beach and I, and the endless immensity of the ocean blue that blended seamlessly with the sky to keep me company. My phone vibrating put me out of my own thoughts as I looked at the text message.

 **Hey lady,**

 **Where have you been?**

 **You've missed the 80's and the 90's I hope you make it for the 2000's**

 **-Yorkie.**

I smiled at her enthusiasm. I don't think anybody loved the party town of San Junipero more than Yorkie. She was smitten by the town and as I looked at the landscape I couldn't argue with the rationale. The place was as beautiful as it was vast. It wasn't stifling like the city could be at times and I truly felt free. Even when I was a prisoner to memories I felt free.

I had kind of tucked away onto myself after the visit to Yorkie's and Kelly's. I wasn't avoiding them by any means and kept in contact through text regularly, but in the past two weeks I had avoided the outside world. Besides yesterday's four hour drive to nowhere, I knew that things would be ok. I was sceptical on how to reconcile my body, heart, and mind but I was sure that some me time had never killed anybody.

I decided that it was time to come out finally and see what the world would hold. I didn't want to run into Laurel because if I was being honest, I wouldn't know how to react. If nothing was wrong with her and she recognized me, would I lose my shit? I didn't know and that scared me, but so did the potential of being played in such a way. I shook my head of the thoughts and sighed knowing I'd never hurt anybody resembling Lauren.

If I ran into Laurel I'd try to play it cool but I couldn't stay sheltered in this house for two more weeks until the weeks turned into months and months into years and so forth. I would find an outfit and see where the night would lead me. Hopefully it landed me a bit of fun, a feed and some no strings attached sex. It was probably what I needed right about now after that cluster fuck with Laurel.

I walked inside to my closet after closing my patio. I wanted to get in motion after sitting still for so long. I grabbed my shades and thought about a hat I hadn't worn in years which I was fond of. As I was about to dig into my closet I almost fainted at the sight: My old cell phone had a blinking green light and it was on. It had a dimmed display showing 587 missed calls and god knows how many messages. With a jolt I jumped over to it and turned it back off as my mind raced. I shivered as the fear of possibilities ran through my head and the terror of those implications hit me. _How long had that been on?_

Deciding to escape the spook of the moment, I slammed the closet doors forgetting about the hat. I threw something a bit more decent on and hopped in the Jeep after locking up. I'd go into town and pick something and hopefully I'd see about a job somewhere. It was time to get something to occupy my thoughts other than the beach. Some bar, kitchen, gallery or whatever had to be hiring, right?

The atmosphere at Tucker's for the 2000's era was electric. I had not seen Kelly or Yorkie there but I knew it was only a matter of time. The place was bumping with the right kind of music and to be honest, I didn't miss that 'Days Go By' by Dirty Vegas was playing in the background. It was definitely a throwback for me and I was having a load of fun in the arcade after dancing my ass off. It seemed like the crew here at Tucker's would even change the games in the arcade and currently I was in a Dance Dance revolution showdown with my newly made friend Johnny. I was good but he would give me a run for my money every time. As we cleared the stage, I twirled to celebrate and came face to face with the blonde I had tried so much not to think about.

"Bo, you've been avoiding me." She mentioned bouncing on her heels, whether from excitement or nervousness I couldn't tell.

I took her in as I drank her with my eyes, the Succubus in me roaring in approval. She had a black skirt and a tucked in black button down with strappy heels while her black make-up was heavy and her hair was slicked back in a bun. The hoop earrings, many rings in her hands, and the cut of her outfit screamed a more melancholic approach to the 2002's era style than what I had seen at Tucker's so far tonight. While everyone else was more of an 'Orange County' and 'Jenny from the Block' kind of vibe, Laurel looked smoky and mysterious emulating perfectly a 'Femme Fatale' or 'Linkin Park' kind of vibe.

I took a step back as if burned and mumbled something about the ladies room and bolted towards it. I could hear her sandals over the music as she followed me hot on my trail. I took a deep breath, I couldn't really do this right now. I didn't want the small part of sanity I had left to vanish into thin air. As it was I didn't have the answers I needed and even though my body pulled me to her like a moth to a flame, I had to remind my muscles that I this was not my Lauren. Even if it was Lauren in the end, I didn't know… but more importantly SHE didn't know…. so what was the use of having her body when the lifetime that we had with one another had been wiped clean along with her feelings for me. That was the best case scenario.

The worst case scenario is that she knew me, that she knew exactly who I was and how I felt about her and she just played Coy. As much as I doubted it and couldn't stomach it, I had to keep telling myself that is was a very real possibility. That one day she would turn to me with a sadistic smile, thank me for the fuck and kick me out of whatever life she had now. Before putting myself in this sort of situation I had to assess if I could take that, but as I heard her heels stop and her arm pull me spinning me around, I realized this would destroy me even worse than before if true. This made my walls come up along with the anger.

"Wait a minute!" I heard Laurel's voice come through and I glared at her when I spun around. I wanted to go.

"Why are you here?" I snapped as her eyes widened with hurt but a determined look flashed across them quickly after.

"I was looking for you, where did you go?" The blonde demanded and I scoffed feeling like a trapped animal about to bite. "You hid from me."

"One, I did not! Two, I owe you zero and Three… See point Two!" I yelled as I walked away.

I stormed into the bathroom as my hands trembled while I threw water on my face desperate to wake up from that interaction. I was hurt, I was angry, I was aroused, I was hopeful… Why was it always so complicated? No matter the time, no matter the era… Why was being Bo Dennis an utter clusterfuck? Was my father right? Was this my birthright?

Right then and there the bathroom door swung open and I stared at the light brown eyes I had gazed into so many times in my lifetime. I trembled as my body threatened to react as it always did towards the blonde and I subdued it the best that I could. I gripped the bathroom sink to keep me afloat in this turmoil while the blonde stopped a few feet from me with a frown on her face.

"Look, I'm not clingy, but… but I wanted to talk to you. I mean that night… like I…"

"No—This isn't fun Laurel, I have to have some space…" I bit my anger back. "Besides you're engaged right? What about that?"

"I could talk to you about that more if you let me." Laurel got the point across and I stood there.

"Have we met before?" I asked taking charge. This was the question that would flip or flop this encounter.

"No." the answer was firm and sure as I stared into her eyes to catch any sign of doubt. "no… I would've known if I ever met _you_ before Bo."

"Then… what do you need?" I snapped but she crossed the distance between us and grabbed my face firmly before her lips crashed against mine.

I couldn't help but melt into her, the feel of her lips against mine drew a soft moan from my mouth and with that she grabbed a hold of my hips pulling me closer. The hint of sweat in her lips, the softness of them, the smell of her skin this close, it was all incomparable. I couldn't quite think much as our tongues battled with one another and our panting was all you could hear in the bathroom. I let out a soft grunt as she bit my lip and my hands travelled to the smoothness of her skin under her shirt. Our eyes met in a single moment of passion and I saw the raw need she had in her eyes. Her aura was a golden dark honey colour that I absolutely loved and now, flaring in such a way I couldn't help but feel myself grow bolder with the moment. As I had done only once before, I pulsed softly into Laurel's back the orange hue of my compulsion Chi and I sighed as Laurel's eyes became darker with lust and even more focused on me.

" _I know what you're doing."_ Laurel smiled and I winked at her. The irony of the words were not lost on as I remembered that Lauren had said that to me the only other time I had tried this.

I smiled as I had before, my heart pounding with exhilaration "Do you want me to stop?"

"No." Laurel breathed and I shook my head with the memory.

"Then tell me Hot Lips Hoolihan, have you ever met me before the other night here at Tucker's?" I asked in a seductive tone.

"If I had, I'm sure I'd be just as smitten." She admitted with a dazed smile and I chuckled shaking my head about the satire my life had become.

"Want to get out of here?" I offered as Laurel gave me a beautiful smile and nodded.

I kept trying to rationalize in my mind but all I could feel were Laurel's hands travelling up and down my thigh, squeezing healthily at times. I had let out a moan at the first time and I suspected that she was trying to get the same reaction once more but biting my lip prevented it. The copper taste in my mouth kept me focused on anything that wasn't the blonde so I could get us to the house safe. I felt intoxicated by her ministrations and her presence. Now that I had been deprived from it for so long it was like a long awaited breath of fresh air after almost drowning at sea. I knew that was dangerous to me, because with this stupor I could easily become greedy. I couldn't bear to think of what would happen if I did not think of my blonde counterpart and her uniqueness of being her own person, not just a reflection of Lauren. It was important for me to be fair to the blonde at all times; she was after all another being altogether rather than just the memory in my head come to life. She had a life and with that came a plethora of feelings and I needed to be careful not to get too caught up in the past to mistreat the essence of this woman.

Yet her hands now traced the apex of my thigh and I growled in frustration as I pulled the e-brake and consecutively pulled her face to mine. Our lips melted onto one another's in a symphony of moans and sighs fuelled by raw lust. I could feel her aura resonating and my hunger grew. We left each other breathless as our hands groped through clothes desperately trying to get to what came next. By the time we got to my door I was crazy with want. As soon as my front door closed again, our lips had found each other once more but I pushed her away for a minute. I knew the compulsion had to be gone by now so I wanted to ask.

The blonde stared at me from half-lidded eyes as she watched my lips with every tick of the clock. I bit my bottom lip trying to find the strength to ask her. I wanted her after that hot bathroom encounter and the talk we'd share. Maybe I didn't have all the answers and maybe this would be bad, but I wanted to let loose and throw caution to the wind tonight. My last lingering apprehension seized me and I voiced it.

"But you're engaged." I advised as she laughed.

"Yes, I was. It was a pact Red and I had for a long time, but I've already taken care of that. It's what I've been looking for you for." Laurel explained holding me tight against herself.

"what kind of-"

"Shh, why not talk about this over breakfast? I mean, you're not gonna bail on me in the morning again are you?" Laurel teased as I felt her hands roam deliciously down my body.

I laughed richly as I crashed my lips to hers without any more protesting. I wanted the blonde and if everything was out of the way why shouldn't I? I knew the danger I was getting myself into emotionally but the way her caramel eyes darkened from lust when we pulled apart, and her mouth hung agape in a sexy pout I couldn't maintain this self-control for much longer.

"I'm glad you brought me here, Bo." She whispered by the shell of my ear as my whole body quivered in response.

"I…" I breathed as the Succubus in me roared with delight and my heart hammered in my chest.

"I'm sure you are too, I assume. See… I just, I feel like you and I can have amazing times together" she purred, licking my ear as my hands tightened on her hips and my breath hitched. "I want you Bo… I think of how much I want you all the time…"

"You do?" I breathed shallowly as my eyes rolled in pleasure while Laurel ground her hips against mine.

"I do." Laurel enunciated crisply as her hand traveled between my legs.

My breath hitched and I moaned at the contact before her hand ducked underneath my shorts to find there was nothing else between her and my wetness. Hey eyes were locked on mine as her expert fingers parted my folds and she felt the moisture there. A low moan ripped from her throat making me wetter still.

"Lau-"

" **Shh, just let me.** " She whispered and I felt everything in me submit at her every word as a delicious current went through me at her choice of words.

With a desperate tremble of her hand, she undid my belt and discarded my shorts. She dropped down to her knees and kissed up my legs and thighs as I sighed in agony and pleasure all rolled into the same. Her lips found my high inner thigh and I trembled against the wall she had pinned me to. I was drunk on her and every sound, smell, taste, sigh, and touch in this moment.

With a small smile she kissed my hips and licked up my abs as my breath came out ragged. I lost myself to the feeling of her lips trailing back up my body until they found my neck. She hooked her fingers underneath my shirt and pulled it off before I fumbled with her clothes. We giggled as I fumbled with her bra and the moment turned tense in a different way. The way her eyes met mine was as if she was memorizing me. I invited her eyes as I rubbed my fingertips gently against her toned arms, holding her gaze. By the time her hair was loose and framing her face, her lovely breasts were inviting me ever so enticingly. I could feel my Succubus as it began to stir at the magnificence before me.

"You are exquisite." I breathed before taking her breast in my mouth and suckling eagerly as her head tilted back in pleasure.

"Oh Bo. I've thought about this so much over the last two weeks." Laurel breathed and I smiled against her feverish skin.

"Did you think about it a lot?" I asked as my fingers dipped between her legs and I caressed the soft wet curls there.

"Yes." The blonde breathed and nodded as a wicked smiled crossed my lips.

"What did you do about it?" I asked in a low husk as I traced her slit teasingly.

"Oh Bo, please" she begged as she dipped her head kissing my neck driving me insane.

"Tell me, what did you do about me driving you insane with lust?" I tried again as I pressed against her clit, her grip on my back solidified while she moaned.

"I touched myself" Laurel confessed with an unexpected blush to her cheeks and I felt the subdued shift in me as I growled softly.

"As good as I am touching you?" I asked curiously with a smile.

"No one has ever touched me the way you do." She breathed before I took her words away, entering her heat with two digits.

Her arms wrapped around my back as I pushed her further onto the kitchen table and entered her deeper. Her half-lidded eyes met mine and were begging me for more as her aura rose to a blazing heat of warm honey that enveloped me fully. I moaned loving the charged atmosphere between us as she wrapped a leg around my hips pulling me deeper into her, opening her legs further. I hissed in pleasure as I throbbed with want at the motion, knuckles deep into the now panting blonde.

I caught my reflection in her eyes, the bright blue eyes of my Succubus shining through with their ethereal blue. Ashamed, I pulled my eyes down hoping I hadn't scared her. Before long her hand gently found my jawline and she pulled my eyes back to her as I kept a much slower pace now to match the caramel thickness of her eyes.

"Look at me Bo, you're gorgeous." Laurel breathed as our eyes met. "Succubus or not, you're probably the most beautiful creature on this earth."

My heart seized at the words but I couldn't register much once I saw Laurel's ethereal green eyes glowing as bright as mine. Her lips crashed into mine and I melted into her as I moved my digits deep inside her, getting lost in the woman in front of me.

I felt the lazy circles she was drawing on my skin and almost chuckled at the tickles on my hip. This felt good as did all the muscles that ached in my body did so deliciously. I wasn't quite sure what Laurel was, but she tasted different than a Valkrye. She tasted different than anything I had ever tasted before, she tasted ancient. With a sigh I felt a kiss on my jawline down to my neck. I knew we were done after so many hours of lovemaking but it had been so long since I had lounged so comfortably with someone after sex.

"That was strenuous." I admitted with a chuckle as Laurel hummed a small laugh.

"Did I tire the Succubus out?" Laurel asked pleased with herself, and when I turned to look at her my heart skipped a bit at the sight of her.

"You did." I whispered lowly as she searched my eyes.

The way her hair was draped to the side and the light from the ocean morning hit her skin; she looked so much like the ghost I was missing. I closed my eyes trying to keep the memories much like this one at bay. Morning afters, the bliss of having Lauren in my arms after spending hours making her forget the hard days at the clinic. All those sights, sounds, scents, and touches coming back to me in waves as my chest heaved.

"Bo?" the blonde called out worried sounding so much like the ghost I missed.

"It's nothing." I tried opening my eyes once more but she shook her head when she met my eyes.

"No Bo, it's something. I know it's something… you look at me with such pain sometimes and I don't know how to deal with that." She mentioned and I cringed.

"I didn't mean to-"

"I know Bo. I'm not here to change the way you think, much less how you feel. I know we're basically strangers enjoying each other's company but I'd just like to understand you." Laurel offered sincerely and I sighed.

This was a bad idea, but perhaps speaking it out loud would help me. People knew my story after all, but so many years had passed that it was entwined with facts and fiction like everything Fae. I nodded as I guided her to lay her head against my chest. I wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault I looked sad or distant, but how could I explain the situation at hand?

"Well, the thing is that you happen to look strikingly like someone I loved once." I confessed as she shot up to sit over me looking into my eyes. "My wife to be perfectly exact."

"The Eternal Healer?" she asked in amazement, looking at me in shock and I actually laughed.

"She picked that name for herself, you know?" I smirked at the memory without feeling the sting of the past hit me this time.

"Oh God… should I have not? I mean if it was someone who you miss, I could only imagine the hard time you're going through." Laurel asked in that panicked tone I knew from Lauren before.

"No, no… I wanted this too. I brought you here for a reason." I admitted as she smiled at me and leaned closer to me.

"Why torture yourself though… are you using me as her stand-in?" she asked with humour and I could tell it was a joke, but it was so close to what I felt I was doing that I feared answering directly. "Not that I mind, I mean… I really like you Bo. It's not just the sex, although that's mostly what we've done."

We both laughed at that and it lightened the mood. I pulled her face gently towards mine and felt myself melt into her soft beautiful lips. When we pulled apart she blushed and I smiled feeling better getting it out there.

"It's hard, but I have to go on. And truth is, I like you too Laurel, that's why I ran both times. It scares me, this bizarre situation I'm in." I explained as best as I could.

"Do I look that much like her?" she asked curiously.

"You do, perhaps some other time I'd feel ok with showing you a picture." I admitted as she nodded.

"I don't want to cause you any pain Bo. I mean jeez, it's very well known the love of your life—"

"She left me." I voiced as the room fell silent. It was the first time I admitted it to anyone.

"Oh God, Bo!" Laurel lamented as her brow furrowed with tenderness in her eyes.

"She… she was sick and didn't want to stick around. She left me and I cannot stop thinking about her." I explained with a nervous sad laugh. It was the first time that I spoke about this in detail.

To be honest I didn't know if it was Laurel's presence but it felt therapeutically, almost the way that the conversation was letting me feel all these supressed emotions. Admitting everything that had happened was the first step I guessed and I wanted to recover. I wanted to keep thinking that if there was a possibility that Lauren was out in the universe, we would find our way to one another. As I looked at the blonde in front of me I pondered if this is what was happening already.

"I'm sorry that happened to you Bo." Laurel lamented. "You've been such a great gal with me so far. Patient and kind even when I was like a horse in the middle of a frozen lake the first time we met."

I laughed remembering how she had dashed from the dance floor and how she was Andrea before in my mind. I got mischievous, wanting to set aside the melancholy in my heart for now.

"So… Should I call you Laurel or Andrea today? Isn't it Saturday?" I asked with a raised eyebrow as she laughed with her head thrown back, her luscious breasts bouncing with the motion.

"You can call me Laurel from now on, Bo." She said as she blushed. "Andrea is what I save for… for one night stands."

"I'm curious about how lax that engagement really was." I joked as she rolled her eyes at me slapping my shoulder lightly.

"Shuussh, I might tell you about it if you take me to breakfast at some point." She teased as I laughed.

"Seriously though, you didn't have to stop your engagement. As I explained I have a hard time with my emotions lately, I don't really know what I can give you besides great sex." I smiled at the last part as she shook her head smiling as well.

"I want to know you better, Bo. I mean that. I've lived in San Junipero for a while and I've never met someone like you. That's worth me taking a break on my life and finding out more from you. That's why I looked for you for two weeks straight, you know." She admitted and I blushed at my blunder. "You dined and dashed, and I still expect flowers for that."

"I do apologise, it was a tricky moment for me." I nodded as she rose my chin to meet her eyes.

"I don't want us going fast or doing anything you're not ready for, but I need to see you more Bo. I just, I can't explain it." Laurel sounded frustrated but determined and among many reasons mainly because of curiosity I nodded and smiled gently at her while caressing her face.

"I can do that now; I think you'd like to know I have a job at Scotty's now." I suggested as the blonde perked up.

"That's next to my gallery. I would love to treat you to lunch tomorrow." Laurel perked up and my smile brightened as my curiosity peeked.

"You're an artist?" I asked as she blushed and shook her head.

"I work at the gallery. I'm hoping to make some networking work in my favour. I am a fashion designer by human standards and a Warrior by the Fae ones." Laurel explained with a smile.

Regarding the blonde, I realised that this was the main difference between my Lauren and Laurel in front of me. It seemed like Lauren had a more reserved and intelligent demeanour. While I could tell Laurel was smart and witty, I could also see she was bolder than Lauren used to be. She was quick to jump into a suggestion and would do so eyes closed, all-in. Lauren was more cautious while Laurel was a bit more liberal. In essence, I could see Lauren's strong will and independence shining through no matter what. However, it was like Lauren tasted like soothing water while Laurel tasted like smoky bark and woodland.

She was different in many aspects, and yet she was the same in many others as I had seen with how I knew her body. I was curious to know who this Laurel was more deeply. I had liked what I had seen so far and despite my better judgement I decided it was time to give this a chance and stop fighting it. I could find answers to what happened to Lauren, but that was closely linked to Laurel so there was a better gamble in staying close to her than not.

"I'd like to go for lunch with you." I admitted as the blonde's face brightened up. "Although we should probably go for that breakfast today first, lady. It seems you've famished my energies."

"Perfect!" she smiled and leaned down to kiss me slowly.

I touched her neck while we kissed, her tattoo was rugged against my hand and I ventured to ask now that we were comfortable with one another.

"What's this?" I asked caressing her tattoo as she blushed.

"It's a rune that marks my Warrior status, I earned it during battle. Think of it as a battle medal." She explained and I nodded.

"Have you seen many battles?" I asked as she shook her head.

"More or less, to be honest I remember this battle but not many others." She mentioned tracing her tattoo before finding my hand and kissing my palm.

"You're a conundrum woman." I admitted as she nodded.

"Even to myself, Bo." She sighed and I tilted my head curiously.

"I'm not sure how to explain it. I don't really remember my past lives or how many I had, but I do remember the last one. It was short, I know that much… I was reckless and rebellious and dangerous to the point that I hurt some people." She mused with a far away look on her face etched with regret. "I was violent, and now… in this life, it seems like I would be the total opposite of violent."

I held my breath as I processed this information. It was really a rush to think that there were possibilities beyond my comprehension at work here. I had lived such a long industrious life until now that I had somehow become accustomed to not be surprised by anything. Ever since I had arrived at San Junipero, all I had was surprise after surprise after surprise. I didn't know what to make of this new information, but I couldn't deny that my heartbeat was beating faster than ever before.

"So what are you exactly?" I asked as she gave me this glorious smile and shook her head covering herself with the sheet before rising from the bed.

"Where are your manners Bo? Don't you know it's rude to ask people what they are?" she teased and I chuckled.

"I guess you're right, that was rude…" I mused as her eyes shone with mirth. "Are you leaving me because of that?"

"Who says you can't join me in the shower?" she winked at me and my pulse quickened.

I got up and followed her in a daze. I knew that a shower was the furthest thing on the blonde's mind as her aura told me all I needed to know. I told myself to take things easy and let things fall into place. But with the way the blonde swayed her hips I was putty in her hands. It was like you had been deprived of your favourite drink for years only to be given a taste and then you want to bathe in it. Maybe I wasn't being wise, maybe I was playing with fire, but my heart and my Succubus kept yelling at my mind what she wouldn't accept. _If it tasted like Lauren, smelled like Lauren, felt like Lauren, and talked like Lauren… why couldn't it be Lauren?_


	5. Chapter 05: Crawl Outta Love

**I'm not sure if I lost some people during the last chapter from the lack of reviews but I still gotta continue full steam ahead. Since I've noticed formatting has been a bit iffy lately and my breaks are not showing I decided to try something different to show off the breaks in the POV or continuation to help. Thanks so much to all of you still reading, can't wait to post the next chapter! Thank you so much to the wifey for inspiration and proof reading. Also Happy Birthday Kolton!**

 **Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **P.S. SuccubusShinobi here, I want to apologize for the time the update has taken. I hadn't been able to proofread it for a little bit, but we're back on track! Without further adieu, please enjoy the chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 05: Crawl Outta Love**

It was probably the tenth time that I looked at the clock in the last fifteen minutes with a huge grin on my face. I bounced on my heels excited at the thought of what the night had in store for me. I had traded shifts with the pimpled red headed boy from the ice cream stand attached to Scotty's so I could get the afternoon off to start the weekend earlier. The job was not hard and I liked how it kept me busy, but tonight I needed to be out sooner than later. Tonight I was working the counter and the register but it was my only customer service day since I was normally doing the books for the garage.

I had taken college courses to get a bachelor's in accounting, when I was with Lauren I prepared myself so I could run the books for The Dahl. Scotty's was more than happy to have that experience at their disposal and I was happy for the distraction. I smiled fondly remembering that Dyson was useless in numbers and Mark was as inexperienced in math as he was handsome. My heart ached with memories but I didn't want to change the life I had chosen for myself.

Back then Lauren had actually helped me pass some of the harder exams with study dates and more carnal rewards. My muted smile was fond as I thought of the moments the blonde and I shared. As the days passed, my soul and my nights melted in Laurel's arms and it was easier to think of the Doctor. I just had to avoid thinking of her departure as much as I could. Maybe I was sick and twisted in some way for this happening to me and me jumping at the opportunity. Maybe I was a selfish prick through this all for taking advantage of this luck that I had run into. Yorkie and Kelly certainly didn't think so.

***F****

 _The wine had flowed much like conversation tonight; freely. The red wine had of course left us in giggles and hiccups all the same. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt to just let go and enjoy myself freely for a night. Laurel and I had gone to both breakfast and lunch the day after and it had left me renewed in a way I couldn't describe. Conversations had been kept light and we limited ourselves to speak about the things we enjoyed about living in San Junipero. I was glad the blonde was understanding and that in spite of her interest in me she had the right mindset of treading carefully._

 _I had found out she enjoyed another bar in the outskirts of town called Guero's and she had promised to take me at some point. I also learned that her favourite sport to practice was lacrosse but her favourite to watch was good old Ice Hockey. When I had jokingly brought up a Fae team, she had corrected me that Yorkie and her were part of it. The woman was as smart as she was charming and I expected nothing less as I had watched her answer a few work calls at breakfast while tucked under my arm in a booth at the nearby diner._

 _"_ _Penny for your thoughts, Bo." Kelly interrupted me as she refilled my wine glass and I smiled broadly._

 _"_ _Yeah Bo, you've left me all alone with the fire pit!" Yorkie accused and I laughed._

 _"_ _Sorry ladies, I'm just enjoying my night actually." I admitted with a sigh as I took a sip of the wine._

 _It was a non-alcoholic cannabis wine Yorkie had gotten for me since I had quit drinking and it was really hitting the spot. I felt happy without even thinking about it. I guessed that was the beauty of San Junipero. Or perhaps it was the fact that I felt like myself once more for what seemed like a lifetime._

 _"_ _That's great to hear! I got told you were spotted at the diner with a lovely blonde on your arm." Yorkie smiled and Kelly rolled her eyes._

 _"_ _I thought you weren't going to mention it!" Kelly admonished and I laughed at them both with a lazy smile._

 _"_ _It's ok Kelly, I'm sure Yorkie is no stranger to Laurel's musings in the gallery." I joked and Yorkie brightened up._

 _"_ _See… Laurel has always been a reserved soul, she's good company but she's always been very private even with us. Now it's Bo this, Bo that…and the blushes on her face!" Yorkie explained as I smiled brightly knowing she talked about me in such ways._

 _"_ _What about you then?" Kelly asked me as Yorkie shoved her into the sand and we laughed "What?! If you asked I can ask!"_

 _"_ _You can both ask and I don't know about me… I mean, it's very surreal and weird for me in a strange way. I imagine it was for you guys as well." I explained as they nodded._

 _"_ _It was. When she came back we weren't sure how to act. The fact that she remembered Yorkie a bit was confusing since we didn't know to what extend she does remember." Kelly went off. "I was thrown aback by it that's for sure!"_

 _I thought about it and nodded. The more I thought about our interactions the more I thought Laurel was not lying about believing this was the first time we had met. I was certain that this was not Lauren playing a sick joke on me but a rather unfortunate event in my lifetime like many others. It cruelly reminded me of that 2000's movie about the dates and Drew Barrymore not remembering her days…_

 _"_ _I'm finding re-discovering the blonde's mind very intriguing." I admitted with a nod and a pause for a drink of more wine. "I find myself falling into old habits I had with Lauren and I admonish myself for it. I mean… I feel like perhaps I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing. Something selfish and obscure. I mean put yourselves in my shoes… go on… would you date Kelly again if she wasn't quite Kelly?"_

 _"_ _In a heartbeat." Yorkie responded with no time for doubts. "I would take the second opportunity in a heartbeat. I mean there should be a reason why out of the whole world I have crossed paths with her again."_

 _"_ _You're asking the wrong person Bo." Kelly joked with a jovial tone to her words. "Yorkie is a hopeless romantic that believes in destiny and all that. So her answer will always be based on it."_

 _"_ _Hey, we're together aren't we?" Yorkie teased back as she sat between Kelly's long beautiful legs and raised her lips to kiss the dark beauty._

 _It was such a sweet intimate moment that made my heart ache. I had heard the story how 'human' Yorkie had given up everything to be with Kelly, and here they were. If I knew any better, Lauren had something to do with this happy ending. Perhaps in guilt that our own happy ending hadn't worked out quite accordingly she had helped the pair resolve their issue, who knew really. Reality was I didn't know if I knew Katie, and if Katie and Lauren were one in the same; how is it she looked so young and radiant when her health had deteriorated so quickly? I shook my head from spiralling into the dark thoughts and the wheel that spun there incessantly with the need to know what happened._

 _"_ _Lauren believed in faith… destiny whatever you want to call it." I recalled trying to convert her memory into a good one._

 _I had been reading self-help and grieving books that were trying to teach me how to move on and this was one of the techniques. It seemed odd to do at the same time that I searched for Lauren's history, however the woman who had replaced her deserved better. Laurel was a blank slate in the story of Bo; that much I realized with our outings. The problem was that this woman had everything else that Lauren did, and somehow neither my body nor Succubus could get past that. I had to take great care into not falling into too much comfortableness with Laurel much too soon._

 _"_ _Then who's to say this is not destiny now Bo? Lauren…Laurel who cares? She's here in San Junipero with you… I mean I know_ _ **you care**_ _… but what I mean is: why not see where destiny takes you both?" Yorkie offered musingly._

 _"_ _That sounds like solid advice Yorkie." Kelly breathed and the red head sighed happily._

 _"_ _Well, think about it. Lauren was bright, smart, and capable. You told us about how it was she who was conniving and turned the Morrigan human with a convoluted plan that was more intricate than a woven blanket. So who says she didn't make such an equally convoluted plan and set it in motion before she lost her memory… or was reborn… or whatever it is that Lauren/Katie did. What if Lauren planned for you to find her, follow the clues?" Yorkie mused once more as we fell into comfortable silence._

 _I think the three of us, by knowing the same person, were thinking of ways that perhaps Lauren had gotten this to work. Yorkie was right. Lauren_ _ **was**_ _the most brilliant mind I had ever met. She more than likely knew that I would not rest until I would get answers about her whereabouts. So was this all part of Lauren's plan? Was it destiny or a bit of both? Had she forgotten the plan herself? Was I in charge of getting her back or just finding her and living with her? So many questions I couldn't wrap my mind around…_

***F/E***

"Earth to sexy, sexy Bo." The voice behind me snapped me from my thoughts as a smile widened on my face and I turned around to face the blonde.

Was she ever a sight for sore eyes! She had gone on a business trip for the Gallery and now that she was back I remembered how it felt to be in her presence again. Without noticing, I found myself feeling my stomach turn flips as her gorgeous beauty graced me. I took her hand and kissed both of her cheeks in the French way while she blushed and looked at me with smoldering eyes. She was wearing a long sleeved light blue dress that was tight in all the right places while her smokey make-up made her eyes pop even more than usual in that melted caramel fashion. Her dark hair was pinned back in a neat do that framed her face perfectly while exposing her regal neck; the beautiful dark runes marring her neck and shoulder as always. Simply put the woman was stunning as ever, like a fine wine. I wanted nothing but to wrap my arm around her as my eyes took her in and her golden lustful aura rose around me.

"Sexy sexy yourself beautiful, I feel underdressed." I explained as I showcased my black leggings and pale purple shimmery halter top.

I knew my hair was perfect and my makeup was smoking but with the blonde looking so good it was hard to feel like I could compete with her; not that I wanted to. The Succubus in me wanted many things that didn't involve the blue fabric on this woman. I saw Laurel's smile widen as she regarded me carefully from calculating caramel orbs while I stared back. I was curious at the look she was giving me but I dismissed it as her voice reached my ears.

"I just didn't want to go home to get changed without seeing you. I don't normally say this but I kinda missed you." Laurel teased as I chuckled.

"Well look at that, mighty Laurel missing simple ol' me?" I teased as she shook her head and tsk'd in a sexy way.

"You're anything but simple Bo." Laurel breathed as I blushed.

"I'm gonna have to go get changed." I deflected.

"Nonsense, I have an idea. Trust me, I'm a fashion designer." She mentioned proudly making me smile at her endearingly.

"Alright, let me wrap up here before we take off." I added as she nodded.

I jumped over the counter making sure Reggie, the kid that was covering me, had everything ready. I reminded him to close at 10 and to put the envelope of money in the safe before locking up for the night. He smiled at me and nodded, he was a good kid, eager to prove himself with me for some reason so I let him. He reminded me of Mark and my heart ached just a little.

"Are you ready now?" Laurel asked by the door where she waited for me. "I got dropped off here so your Jeep will have to do. I already threw my duffel in the back."

"Perfect! Then I'm underdressed but ready." I teased as the blonde rolled her eyes taking my elbow and linking her arm to mine leaning into my arm.

I smiled loving the way she felt against me. The heat of her body pressing against mine as her scent mingled with the ocean breeze was magical. I liked this new comfortableness we had found with each other. I hadn't seen much of Laurel besides the lunch and breakfast, aside from the nights she spent in my bed before she left. I took her to the airport as she had requested earlier this week and it was then that she dared kiss to me on the lips in public. It was a quick and happy goodbye, but somewhere deep in me I had a yearning for her return.

"How was your flight?" I asked gently as she squeezed my elbow.

"It had a lot of turbulence and I don't like to fly." She explained with a big sigh as we reached the Jeep and I opened her door helping her up so she wouldn't dirty her dress. "Grab my leather jacket from the back and throw it on, it'll match your boots."

I smiled with a nod before closing the Jeep's door and doing as the blonde said. As she predicted my outfit was complete and I looked pretty good. With a satisfied sigh, I adjusted her bags next to mine and looked up into the dusky sky as the stars had peered through slightly.

 _If you're out there, forgive me for feeling some happiness without you._

With that as the parting thought from the town, I hopped into the jeep's driver side and gave Laurel a fond look as she finished tying up a bandana over her hair like the old school movies. I suspected it was to keep her hair intact with the old-style convertible Jeep being so windy.

"You ready?" I asked the blonde as she nodded taking a hold of my hand and entwining our fingers before kissing the back of it gently.

"Ready when you are Bo." She whispered looking into the falling night as I drove us away.

She had noticed I had fallen stiff at the contact but held my hand none-the-less, although she did fall silent. Laurel was great at knowing when to leave me be with my thoughts, however today was the first time she refused to let contact between us fall. I wasn't sure how to feel about it especially when the memory ran so raw in my heart, triggered by her good intentioned gesture.

****F/D****

 _The sun was baking us welcomingly as Lauren's laughter rang in my ears. It was full of happiness and I didn't want the moment to end. I grabbed the cooler from the back porch and lifting with my legs I placed it in the back of the Range Rover. The early morning light was warm enough to soak through my shirt and Lauren kept laughing heartily at the radio show she was enjoying at the moment. This was the life I chose, and boy did I ever love it._

 _The events after my Father had left a lot of turmoil in the Fae world, but eventually things started to settle down. Dyson and Mark were now running the bar together. Mark had just recently asked me for some good advice on how to come out to his dad about dating Vex. I sweated in my boots feeling unqualified to answer since I had my own dark secret about my intimacy with Mark that I felt pretty guilty about still. Lauren in the end was the one that gave him sound advice and now Dyson had his hands full with the situation and The Dahl. I had been surprisingly going to college at the Doctor's recommendation and she in her turn was working a quiet clinic in the edge of a neighbouring town._

 _Things had settled down on her front, Bruce was always at the clinic with her in case of any sign of trouble and I was as always a phone call away. So far, nobody had been dumb enough to mess with my blonde and life had pretty much settled down into what I hoped it would turn out to be._

 _I'd work The Dahl in the lunch shifts, take classes until about seven and when I'd get home Lauren would be in her apron singing and cooking waiting for me to come home to her. We would sometimes have a truckload of food to feed Bruce or the boys if they dropped by and it felt great to fall into this kind of routine. Sundays was video-chat day with Kenzi since Dagny was in dance class then, and no matter what I missed my Kenzi but it was good seeing her mature raising a child._

 _Kenzi in turn had found an old friend wherever she was. It was good for me not to know where she was anyways, her safety was paramount. As much as I missed Hale I approved as soon as Kenzi showed me the blue eyed brunette she had presented me so long ago. It was a second chance of sorts, a bittersweet consolation prize but it was something. Kenzi still loved Hale with all her might, that much she had confessed with time between us, but she also admitted Nate made her laugh more and he was good with Dagny. So good in fact, that she was now expecting her first baby girl. 'It'll be hard raising a human child and not a Fae one' she had joked one night between tears after the heartfelt talk._

 _"_ _Babe?" Lauren called out to me as I put the last of the load and closed the SUV's back door and climbed in the pit with her._

 _"_ _You called?" I asked as the blonde smiled taking me in with her caramel eyes._

 _"_ _Always, and like always you came."_

 _"_ _Always, I'll always come to you Lauren." I smiled._

 _A promise made out of the boldness of the love I held in my heart. It was a love so pure it had helped me defeat the clutches of my father. The sun made Lauren's hair look blonder in the light, the rays of gold meshing with her radiance and the shinning of her aura. Lauren around me was a beacon at all times and I cherished it immensely._

 _"_ _A weekend getaway, just the two of us is exactly what I needed lover." I admitted as Lauren nodded putting her seatbelt on as I started driving away._

 _"_ _Ugh, me too. I swear if that lady that I cannot mention by name but you know who she is walks into the clinic again demanding the authorization for the medications she doesn't need I'm going to lose it!" Lauren declared as I laughed._

 _"_ _It'll be heaven for the next two days." She sighed as she took my hand entwining our fingers and kissing the back of my hand gently._

 _****F/D/E****_

I clenched my teeth the more I drove thinking that it wasn't. It wasn't heaven at all, because when I had felt at my happiest my luck came to find me once more. Lauren had gotten ill that weekend from what we thought was a stomach virus. We had gone on the tours that we could when she had felt better but beside that we stayed all cooped up in the hotel. I was scared to even touch her that weekend, not daring to look at her in a lustful way with the way she was feeling. By the time Monday rolled around I was pouring with worry. I couldn't get to the city fast enough to get her checked.

Because of her link with the Fae we went to see Evony, whom had somehow stayed as the leader of the Dark Fae. She had agreed to meet us somewhere inconspicuous and when she saw how ill Lauren was, she offered her Fae clinic immediately. Test after tests were done and in the end, the prognosis was the same. Lauren had T4 N3 M1 cancer in her brain, it was advancing quickly because of her conduit residual and she eventually got tired of fighting it. In that office next to Evony as we both cried was the beginning of the end for me.

"You have been quiet for almost an hour Bo… I hope you're alright." Laurel's gentle voice startled me.

Laurel's voice was slightly deeper than Lauren's, it could be because Laurel wore a nicotine patch since she was quitting and Lauren had never touched the stuff. However their tone was the same full of compassion tone I had grown to love. I found myself hating the laced compassion in people's face when I'd lie and say Lauren was taking a trip or working abroad for a bit, because they all knew the truth that I'd deny even to myself. And yet here was the same compassion making me fall in love with this voice in a different way this time. Life was so full of surprises.

"I am, I just… I…" the words died in my lips without me being able to describe what was going on.

"You had a hard time somewhere along the line." Laurel finished for me soothingly. "I wonder sometimes if I'm being selfish by wanting to be with you… if I'm hurting you unnecessarily."

"Don't fret over that. I could've said no, walked away from you and not returned." I admitted knowing I could never have done so. "I just have a lifetime of memories invading my thoughts at times."

"I get that…" Laurel whispered as the GPS indicated I had a last turn to make. "… I just worry about you."

"I know and I appreciate it, I just need time to think sometimes." I admitted with a small shrug.

"I understand…" Laurel nodded before looking away thoughtful.

I looked down on our linked hands and smiled. I realized she hadn't let go this whole time. I had been lost in thought for almost an hour and here she was being supportive. I gave our hands a small squeeze and my smile grew as she looked at our hands and then my face.

"I like this though. I like that even when I'm lost in thought you anchor me to the present. To San Junipero." I admitted and her beautiful smiled came out unabashedly.

Laurel seemed almost giddy at the thought and I welcomed the energy. It made us fall in a comfortable silence until we arrived in our destination. Laurel had insisted on a weekend with the Fae and I welcomed it. I had partied with all the mortals San Junipero had to offer so here we were off to a Fae resort. Laurel had made the accommodations for our stay and I welcomed the distraction. While I had thought this was a simple trip to clear my head the memory hit close to home and I couldn't help but panic that I was to lose the blonde a second time.

"I think this is the final turn, I can see the lights up ahead." Laurel mentioned and I squeezed her hand following her directions.

When we got to the check-in area a valet had taken the Jeep and the bags had already been carted away. The place was luxurious and lavished with riches like everything the Fae seemed to be. Laurel mentioned it was a Dark Fae compound before she booked the trip in case I had issues with that. She had told me she was Dark the morning of breakfast over a cup of coffee and a croissant. She was direct, straight to the point, and blunt. Commanding in every word, a take it or leave it kind of attitude and I found myself intrigued by this.

Lauren could be feisty at times, but the woman was never ornery or intransigent. Lauren was poise and class even when angered, and yet Laurel in front of me was proud and unmoving, straight to the point and sincere even when it hurt. She reminded me a lot of Tamsin's sass mixed with Lauren's demure and I wondered if it was a Valkrye thing. The subject of Laurel's Fae remained a mystery to me, but I still knew she was at least part Valkrye.

"…And these are the key cards. The requests are all as expected Miss Svipul, is there anything else that you may need?" the desk keeper asked Laurel with that perfect excellence expected in a luxurious place like this.

"No Radkor, thank you for your help tonight." Laurel smiled and with a small reach behind her she captured my hand in hers "Shall we?"

"We shall." I smiled and nodded at the desk clerk before letting Laurel lead the way.

We walked through marble corridors, fountains and a luscious lobby. There were people milling about their business even though it was late when we arrived. I could see this was all Fae patrons and as we took the elevator I was glad for the privacy.

"You always get these many looks? I might get jealous." Laurel joked with a wink behind her shoulder making me chuckle as I wrapped my arms around her waist taking in her scent.

She smelled like Lilacs and a musky earthy undertone that I couldn't place. I thought Lauren always smelled like Lilacs but somehow Laurel's scent was even stronger. I smiled kissing her pulse point humming while I thought of a witty answer. I enjoyed the warm body against mine in all the right contours as my Succubus growled in approval.

"Were you jealous?" I asked slyly as she chuckled.

"I don't know, I don't think I have the privilege of being jealous yet. This is technically our third date and as much as I want to cast their eyes away from you I don't think we're at that stage just yet." Laurel teased as she pulled away right before the elevator 'dinged' cutting off any other conversation that might've led to.

When we got to the room our bags were already there and a bottle of champagne was on ice waiting to be cracked. I tensed a bit at the sight thinking about mentioning it later. Laurel looked unsure for half a second before her lips uttered what she was thinking of voicing.

"That's some brand of non-alcoholic Champagne Yorkie recommended." The blonde explained and suddenly she looked shy and unsure.

It tugged at my heart because it was as if I was finally seeing the woman in front of me in a different light. She reminded of someone long ago, but in this moment, with her uncertainty she anchored me to who she was right now. Her eyes fell to the floor and I closed the gap between us hesitantly before pulling her chin up to give her a wondering look. Laurel gave me a shy smile that was so uncharacteristic of her it made my heart skip.

"You don't have to stay with me if you don't want. That door right there is for the adjacent room. I got two in case this was too much too fast. We had agreed this was a girl's weekend getaway and even invited Yorkie and Kelly… and they didn't come, but it's not like this is a couple thing, because I totally understand if-"" Laurel ranted slightly making my heart race.

I closed the distance between us in two short strides before kissing the blondes lips deeply. I tore a deep moan from her mouth that should've edged me on but instead, it made me regain my senses and reign in my libido. I calmed our pace as her hands bunched up my shirt with want and I caressed her cheek, giving in to her sweet lips. A sigh escaped her as I smiled and pulled away looking into her curious light eyes.

"Thank you, thank you for this… really. Not only have you been patient, but you've given me space and now you go on and show me you're just thinking of everything." I chuckled not knowing what else to say.

"I- -I'm just trying to be fair with you Bo. I feel so incredibly selfish at times that I-"

But no more words were uttered that night regarding the subject again. As our kisses turned to pants and those to moans, all talks were forgotten and our bodies did the rest. We could talk during the weekend, but for now, I needed to give in to the raging animal within me that just wanted to ravish this thoughtful woman in front of me.

Without much ado, I pulled her legs to wrap around mine before lifting her using my leg strength and manoeuvring us to the bed. I held no shame as I threw her gently onto the bed before throwing her a wink as she giggled.

"I like." She breathed from half lidded eyes as I watched her aura set the room ablaze in gold while she beckoned me nearer.

I couldn't control the animal within me as I felt the change in me, and my hunger for the blonde surged. My Succubus wanted her and it looked like she was more than willing in participating with what I wanted. Laurel's hands pulled me to her as soon as I was within reach and soon I was naked. Not wanting to be patient anymore I just pulled her dress up and her panties aside before teasing the tender skin beneath the wet curls there.

A sigh escaped the blonde as she arched into me with a hiss. I kissed her shoulder and traveled down the valley of her breasts before taking a hard nipple into my mouth. Laurel's moan edged me further as I plunged a digit into her enjoying every expression she was making.

Laurel's face was coated by a sheen light sweat that made her that much more delectable. While I preferred the golden locks, the darkness of her hair made her eyes look that much lighter in spite of the lust. Our eyes found one another as I noticed hers were shining in the green ethereal glow, my Succubus growled for more inside of me.

"I want more." The blonde demanded and I happily obliged as I plunged a second digit in deeper than the last and her nails created half-moons on my back.

"Just like that?" I teased pressing against her flushed body as she bit my earlobe deliciously.

"Fuck Bo." Laurel's moan ignited something in me that was hard to describe.

Like a match set to gasoline I felt the need within me go from 0-60 and I dropped to the foot of the bed. Before Laurel could protest the way I had suddenly pulled out of her, my tongue was buried deep where my fingers were a second ago as I tasted the sweet heaven I had been craving for so long. This was different from the first night we were together somehow and the scream of pleasure that tore from the blonde's lips was music to my ears as I moved vigorously to draw shapes on her swollen clit with my tongue. I felt as the blonde gripped my hair hard with a cry of passion as her hips buckled into my greedy mouth. This delicious nectar was everything to me, a thousand memories and a thousand more in the making if this woman let me again. How could I walk away from this? From having the religious experience that was this blonde in front of me? As I heard Laurel warn me about the impending orgasm I had created, I relentlessly continued wanting to take her to new heights. My Succubus wasn't done after tasting the sweet essence of Lauren and somewhere deep within me I understood that this was dangerous. The Succubus demanded whatever form of the blonde I could get my grasps on.

If my Succubus believed this was Lauren down to the very last drop on my tongue, how was that fair to either Laurel or I? For now, I knew this hunger needed to be quenched and Laurel seemed to be a very willing victim to my charms.


	6. Chapter 06: Rainfall

**Guys be patient. There's a reason that this is a DOCCUBUS story. There's a story to tell in the in-between and I already have chapters written with it. I just hope that all of you can please keep an open mind and continue to see where the story takes you all. As I mentioned on twitter I have the next 3 chapters written and it'll depend solely on the response of this chapter how fast I actually update. Thanks so much to the readers who encourage me day in and day out. A special thanks to SuccubusShinobi for enjoying this trip as much as I have.**

 **Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 06: Rainfall**

My hands trembled with desire at the closeness but I tried to keep my Succubus at bay while I focused on my task. Laurel and I tried to challenge ourselves with the course precisely to take us out of the room and here I was craving her again. The blonde's arm stretched flush against my own steadying it and then with a stern whisper that sent chills upon my skin she commanded me to take action. As I did it felt like minutes but really it was only seconds before I heard the 'thud' on the wood and I felt Laurel's body coming to life with excitement beside me.

"Exactly! What a badass, Bo! That was what, your second try?" Laurel sang my praises with triumph as I turned to her with a big smile.

"What can I say? I'm a natural with weapons." I declared as Laurel laughed.

"What a modest little Succubus!" she accused and I feigned hurt.

"That's not what you said last night!" I scoffed and she laughed harder.

Laurel was fun in an edgy way and I kinda liked it. I didn't know if it was the fact that she was trying to tire me out but so far all of our activities had been physical and intense. We had taken sword fighting lessons which were another thing altogether from the hand to hand combat I was used to, then we had learned to forge metal with a blacksmith in a deeper part of the place. The resort had turned out to be a Fae compound with warrior getaways. Laurel seemed to be known and respected here in a way that I had never imagined Lauren to be. She was greeted by the men and women here teaching as their equal and some even revered her pretty highly.

"Hey hey now! I thought we were taking a break from everything sexual." She teased with a mischievous look and I laughed.

"Well, what do you expect when in the company of a Succubus?" I challenged and she huffed in defeat.

"Fine you've won this round but the war might be long." Laurel smiled and after bumping my hip with hers, she sauntered away leaving me staring at her perfect bottom.

I sighed looking skyward grinning like an idiot. I wanted to know what was happening in my life right now. I didn't want to feel for anybody but Lauren, and yet Laurel was making me smile more and feel more at ease with myself. It didn't help that Laurel was actually pretty cool but still she was very much like Lauren. It turned out Laurel was a geek as well, but her Doctorate was in weapons and combat. All this morning she raved about weapons and shields and all sorts of techniques for what we would be doing today. I smiled following her knowing whatever was next would be a challenge. No wonder her body was toned and perfect, it was probably the best shape I had ever seen it in. The beauty about that was that no matter what she retained the elegance that was the blonde at all times. The toned shoulders giving way to her strong regal back made shivers of the good kind run through me.

_*_*_ D-F*_*_*_

 _How many times had I stared at the toned arms and back of my lover while we slept? I couldn't count the ways I had traced every muscle there. But now as she writhed and moaned beneath my ministrations, biting the pillow and balling the blankets, I knew I would never forget this back. Every muscle arched and flexed with her movements that were in turn controlled by the pace of my digits pumping into her heat. I kissed between her shoulder blades as I curled my fingers and in no time I could feel her contractions as she unravelled beneath me._

 _"_ _Fuck Bo." She breathed with a smile as I bit her shoulder blade teasingly pulling out from her heat._

 _"_ _I think you will let me take the lead more often now?" I teased draping my body over her back as she laughed wholeheartedly._

 _"_ _If that orgasm was any indication you can lead away, my Queen." Lauren purred as she flipped over facing me and pulled me into her crashing our lips together._

 _All of the sudden the scene shifted and I felt confused. No longer was I with Lauren in the memory of our bed and the sheets that held our passion. Instead I was standing in the middle of a street that seemed vaguely familiar. I looked around now fully clothed when I recognized the voice before I could see her._

 _"_ _Now I'm delivering messages for my kid?" she scoffed and I blinked incredulous._

 _Standing before me in a Phoenix like glow was the blonde warrior who I had terribly missed. I stuttered and she rolled her eyes making me understand her sense of humour was intact._

 _"_ _Pay attention to what's around you, Bo." Tamsin advised as I gasped._

 _"_ _But you're dead." I shook my head and she huffed._

 _"_ _And you're not listening. Bo, pay attention… I get you like the blonde but dig deeper." Tamsin's voice was beginning to fade and with a gasp I tried to reach her again._

"Wait! Tamsin!" I screamed as I sat up with a jolt covered in sweat.

I was confused again when I realized I was sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen of the adjacent suite Laurel had rented. I had wanted to sleep on my own for a night to clear my head after we had come back from the field. Laurel had come into the room all full of the excitement of a battle demo that we had completed when she turned to me and said something that made me clam up and retire to my room.

 ** _"_** ** _I'm no Lauren but I'm not bad either."_**

It had been a joke from her part but to me it was a slap in the face, it was her proving to me she knew exactly what was going on. Why I clung to her every night with feverish desperation while we crested over and over. I wanted to like Laurel for Laurel and yet…

Now waking up in tears from how confused I was I half wished I was in the other room with the blonde. It was hard being alone after two visits from my past. Somehow as if it was magic or fate or something in between, the adjacent door came ajar and I could see the dim light of the lamp pooling into my dark room. The dark blonde was in the crack of the door in a pair of sweats and a tank top with a messy bun looking gorgeous yet tentative.

"Bo, I heard screaming are you alright?" Laurel asked with concern and it was that which pushed me to tears.

I covered my eyes as the sobs escaped me and the tears fell freely. _Was that a message?_ I felt Laurel's strong arms envelop me and gently pull me to her as she tried to soothe me. I groaned with frustration as I clung to Laurel and before I knew it my lips were on hers. My hunger flared as the blonde returned my feverish pace and once our hands desperately reached for one another. I lost all sense of inhibition. I was hungry, starving actually and if this was not Lauren, I could feed off of her right?

It was a rationale I had battled with for the last few days, I was hungry, but I wanted to be monogamous. Not that Laurel and I were exclusive, but she was Fae and so was I, and I **needed** to prove to myself that I could do this; that I could differentiate between Laurel and Lauren. I had to prove to myself that I couldn't keep marring the present with the past. Lauren hadn't closed the door, she had left a crack open with her departure that I couldn't ignore the faint possibility of having hope in this insanity.

Now with Laurel I hoped that we still could be, but we're stuck floating in between that can't be seen. I had to put to bed this dream and I knew exactly how to do it. We pulled apart slightly when our groping and our kissing had reached new heights. I wanted so bad to convince myself this was someone else after that dream and it was then that I made a mistake.

With courage in my veins, I pulled as gently as I could while the blue Chi traveled from her to me. I wanted to savour it while I fed, but once the connection was made my eyes turned blue and the beast within me rose in recognition. This Chi was unmistakable and I instantly pulled away remorseful, ashamed, and destroyed. I crumpled onto the floor to weep as Laurel went to touch me, confused, but I stopped her in her tracks.

"Please, please don't touch me." I whispered in a broken tone. "I **need** to be alone Laurel."

"Bo…" the way my name ripped from her chest was full of pain as I pushed her away gently, I felt wave after wave of memories hitting me all at once.

"I should've never fed off of you, Lauren." I muttered in a trance full of melancholy.

"Bo, I'm not-"

"No… no. I know… I know…" I whispered as thousands of thoughts ran through my head and I fell silent pulling away.

* **_*_*** ** _And now I'm trying to recall Why I wait here in the rainfall_*_*_*_*_**

 **My heart pounded on my chest as I felt myself back off shaking my head. I couldn't understand what had happened but I could understand it was grave. One moment we were kissing and the next she had snapped unlike any other time and the guilt that consumed me was monumental. I turned in a firm step as I heard her cries slip away while I ran into my room. I closed the door with my heart beating faster than ever and a pain in my heart I couldn't explain. I knew I liked the woman and that she had captivated me, but we had known each other shortly and I didn't expect the heartache that consumed my very being.**

 **I crumpled on the bed to cry, feeling powerless in this situation. I wanted to be there for her, to comfort her and hold her. I wanted to assure her she would get through this, but how could I compete with a ghost? I could see and understand the pain behind her eyes every time she would look at me lost in thought. I hurt her with every second we spent together and yet I wasn't strong enough to give her up. I was consumed by the pull and experience the Succubus I had heard so much about had brought into my life. There was the fact was Bo was everything people said about her and then some. She was kind, thoughtful, and giving to a fault. I didn't expect the selflessness that came with the nobility of her character. When I heard about the Dark Queen Succubus in my many travels, I always thought of this ruthless warrior whom had battled the Dark Lord himself and won.**

 **Now having met her, I realized the romanticism behind her legend was true. She had indeed had one great love to carry her over that monumental task. A love that she still mourned years and years after the human woman was more than likely dead. A love that looked like me it seemed, and with this knowledge I still carried on selfishly. I cringed as I gripped the pillow tightly at the consequences of my greed. I knew I had to stop this but from the moment I met her, Bo had made me feel things I had never felt in my lifetimes. At least I didn't think so. I knew I had to break things off and not cause her so much pain but how could I when she was so destroyed?**

 **I got up decided and walked purposely to the door, my hands shook before grabbing the knob but I knew what I had to do and Bo deserved that I'd do it. I cringed as I heard her cries through the other room and sighed, steeling my resolve. I wasn't supposed to tear warriors apart this way, and even if it was I couldn't do it to Bo. With one last glance at the now tainted room I sighed and turned the doorknob, firm in step.**

 _****** Just as your hands let go of me, I come to places you might be**********_

It seemed that sleepwalking was a problem with me these days but I couldn't control it. I had been having these vivid dreams now that made me wake up in strange places. The first time had occurred in the getaway with Laurel. I flinched as the memory hit me of that night where I lost my shit. I had etched yet another painful memory to the belt that was my life.

I hadn't seen the blonde since then. I had woken up alone in the resort and with a sigh I had realized I had possibly pushed her too far. I wanted to find answers and as much as I knew San Junipero would have them, I felt that I had to go backwards and piece things together little by little. I had already lost Lauren too many times for comfort. It seemed like I had already lost Laurel once and if I kept going I wouldn't find any trace of the blonde in the ether for me to salvage.

The landscape had changed overnight as I drove and I could see familiar silhouettes in the distance. I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and yet I drove on in hopes that I would find what I was looking for this time around. The years had changed the city but I recognized most of it and as I took the last turn into the very familiar street, I could see The Dahl was still a bustling metropolis of Fae bodies. I parked the red Jeep next to a brand new Mercedes and scoffed at the luxuriousness and how out of place my Jeep looked.

Suddenly afraid, I pulled the leather jacket tighter and braced myself for what was to come. I pushed myself through the main doors and felt the electronic music bump through me like never before. The Dahl stretched before me like a new place mixed in with the old one. The pool tables and antique bar-top were still intact, however the dance floor, lights, and DJ booth said otherwise. It looked like it was early enough in the night that I had missed the big crowd and it was for the best as I saw the Adonis-like grin of Mark centered on the DJ booth from the bar top.

I took this as the moment to walk inconspicuously behind the bar and down the door to the cellar where my Grandfather had once lived. If I could avoid any visitors I would, I wasn't quite sure if I could handle a blast from the past after the last couple of weeks. The Laurel/Lauren debate had shaken me enough to come back, if that was any indication. Laurel had slipped right between my fingertips and I wondered if I'd ever see her again. I hoped so, after all, we whispered promises in the chill of dawn. We traded secrets as our shadows watched.

I shook my head as I made my way to the quarters where my grandfather had kept all his books and library, but in its place I just saw a wine cellar and some kegs. It took all of me to not turn on my heels and go give Mark or Dyson a piece of my mind. But as fast and inconspicuous that I came, I left through the alley door. My mind was bustling with so many questions as I navigated the damp dark alley that I didn't notice the limo that pulled up in front of me.

"Get in" a velvet voice said from inside as I scoffed incredulously.

"Yeah, whatever." I muttered about to turn on my heels to look for another way to my Jeep when the woman stepped into the light.

"Get in Bo."

The drive was quiet as I studied my company, I couldn't quite believe it but here I was in her presence again. After so much bitterness, I was actually glad to see the old familiar face and in relief I realized she was still around. I pondered how and why but if I knew her well enough I knew patience was key with her and I would have to wait. Secrets or not I knew information would be revealed to me.

After a while we pulled into a compound with all the bells and whistles. It was a skyscraper much like her last one but this one had heavy amounts of security thrown in with the lavish décor. I had followed her quietly with no argument or fight, it showed how much more I had grown these past years really. I walked up to the study where it seemed we would talk as security closed and locked the door behind us. Her lavish red dress was striking as were her brunette curls, and the fact she hadn't aged much made me raise an eyebrow.

"Welcome home kid, how's the beach treating you?" she asked with a fond smile and I scoffed.

"So you've known where I am this whole time?" I asked incredulously as she laughed.

"Why of course Bo! You walked into my turf and I am merely an observer of what is happening." She offered with a smile as my jaw dropped.

"Your turf?" I asked in confusion.

"San Junipero is a party town after all. I made the purchase in the early stages of the Country; it was my escape plan for a while. I even thought about running there the last years I had while human. I'm glad it only took a visit to make me change my mind." She chuckled and I blinked in shock.

"Did you do this? Set this whole thing in motion with me?" I asked quickly now that I was getting information I never dreamed of.

"Oh no, I'm not as smart as to pull this masterpiece off. I mean come on Bo, you know how petty I am. I have no time for games. Besides I am more than done with the messes you get into." Her lips tsked as she shook her head with a smile. "No Bo, I'm simply The Morrigan again. I have my hands full with the little lemmings and their ideas of neutrality."

"Evony please" I begged feeling the answers slip between my fingertips. "How are you even alive still?"

"I have to tip my hat to your dear Lauren on that. Real shame about her and the whole.. cancer bullshit." Evony frowned as I saw her shake her head.

"I heard you demanded for all of her pictures and likenesses to be destroyed far and wide." I explained with scorn as she shook her head with regret.

"A decision I didn't make lightly. It was the last wish granted to an old friend Bo. You have to believe me when I say I have no idea what Lauren was up to when she made that request." Evony advised and I stood up pacing.

"So you're telling me, that you have no idea why Lauren asked for her pictures to be destroyed or how her doppleganger is walking about San Junipero?" I asked in exasperation.

"I do not, and I have no idea how she got there. I've been asking myself the same questions, Bo. I miss Lauren too, she was my friend. Probably the only real one I had and if there's a chance she's out there, trust me I'm on it." Evony assured me.

"How can I trust you?" I whispered defeated as I took the information and the dead end into consideration.

"You can trust me because I have a token of friendship for your compliance to offer you, Bo. You lost Lauren before and I found her, remember? I am trying to find her now as well, Bo. I've helped you stay in San Junipero many times by taking people off your trail and now will be no different. I suggest you leave at once. However I need you to take a ghost with you." Evony explained.

I was confused by the information and my head tilted to display that. Evony let out a huff as her phone went off and she held up a perfectly manicured finger to make me wait. I processed everything until now. It seemed Lauren had met up with Evony shortly after she had left me and restored her to her original Fae self. That made me hopeful that, like before, she had discovered how to make herself Fae again. However this couldn't be true if Laurel was around. Fact was that Lauren had been a conduit before and Evony looked like her normal old self, so by all means Lauren should've been restored to her Conduit self. That brought even more issues, if true, since the last time Lauren was a Conduit she had terrible illnesses that would more than likely accelerate her demise.

My head had started to hurt with all the information I was supposed to process and I couldn't quite understand how to begin to act towards the fact that Lauren had requested her existence practically deleted from Fae records. I didn't know what to make of the fact that Lauren had gone to Evony, that she seemed to have a plan in place that neither of us knew. To top it all off, to think I had been living under Evony's nose and so had Laurel was mind blowing.

"Alright Bo, I brought your Jeep over it's packed full of gas and a few supplies. I need you to run me an errand and then go back to San Junipero before Dyson gets on your trail. I recommend you book it on the back road where the freaks of the circus used to hang out. Also, remember you'll have precious cargo, so don't fuck this up." Evony instructed.

"What? I'm not… Is this another random aphrodisiac?" I scoffed as Evony laughed.

"No dear, you're doing me an errand. The GPS is set to your destination. There's a motel in the middle of the trip booked for your stay and the people waiting for you will be ready at your destination. After that you have to go back to San Junipero with absolutely no stops Bo, is that clear?" Evony explained gravely and I nodded.

"Yeah, ok. What's the cargo?" I asked shrugging as she smiled and nodded behind me.

A door opened as a man walked in escorting someone behind him. My breath caught in my throat as I looked up into the caramel orbs that I had missed for so long, the dark blonde tresses that framed her face making the frown on her face more evident. She was wearing heavy black makeup and the leather jacket I had once donned with skinny jeans and a black tanktop underneath. She still looked stunning in those boots and as my heart hammered in my chest, my lips stretched into a smile and I realized I had missed Laurel very much.

**** You erased my transparent, transparencies…You made me feel alive, alive again*****

 **I saw her there imposing and strong willed, standing tall before me. I didn't quite know what to think or what to do as I stared at the magnificent specimen of a woman before me. As our eyes connected, I felt that surge of electricity that always came with it running through me straight to my core. The ever present spark drawing me closer and closer to this woman without much thought. I wasn't naïve, I knew she was a Succubus and I also knew that part of a Succubus' charm was their attraction. However with Bo it was something more, something I had never felt before in all consciousness. The ever present déjà vu as the brunette licked her lips made me bite my own for restriction, since my body wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and kiss the full lips that I had missed these weeks. I had not seen the vixen since I had walked out on her at the resort a few weeks ago and now here we were.**

 **Bo was as gorgeous as ever, if not more, and every time it rendered me absolutely breathless. Bo's brow furrowed in confusion as she turned to The Morrigan. The beautiful full lips held a strong expression while her eyes searched The Morrigan's before they came back to mine, soft and gentle this time. I sighed knowing this was the last thing I wanted when I rolled into town two days ago. I had passed by the city looking for my Master and instead got an earful from the Dark Leader of the area. Apparently I hadn't been careful with my entrance into the colonies and I needed to be more careful about protocol in these parts.**

 **I had never been to this city before and it seemed big and melancholic, yet full of streets that held familiarity to my aching soul. I had been so frustrated driving around with a sense of where I was going but not really knowing why I had stopped here for rest before moving on. Somehow this had calmed my restlessness, but The Morrigan had taken nothing but a few hours before finding me and relocating me to her dark compound where I had stayed out of courtesy. She had looked taken aback by our meeting and I could only suspect as to why.**

 **"** **I… why are you here?" I asked Bo confused. Had she come looking for me?**

 **"** **Bo is here as your escort, she's a local here and I trust she can get you to the next destination before you go home." The Morrigan offered as I raised an eyebrow.**

 **"** **Did you call her here?" I asked getting a bit defensive.**

 **"** **No. Bo is actually pretty handy like this, always has been. She shows up unexpectedly when needed the most." The Dark Leader explained. "I call it kismet."**

 **"** **I call it kiss-my-ass! Did she call you specifically?" I scoffed turning my questions to Bo trying to find some logic in this coincidence.**

 **"** **No, not at all." Bo shook her head before glancing at The Morrigan, and then back at me in a nervous way. "I was passing through, looking for a couple of friends. Came to visit Evony, she's an old friend."**

 **"** **Is that what you call me after not seeing me for 120 years?" Evony remarked snappily as I stared at her trying to calculate that amount of time in my head.**

 **"** **A timeless friend." Bo corrected herself with Evony's glare. "I heard Evony needed a favour so here I am. I am as surprised by our encounter as you are."**

 **"** **Bo…" I insisted as her hand rested on my shoulder soothing and gentle.**

 **"** **Trust me Laurel."**

 **Bo made me feel like as if I was standing in a downpour and I'm tryin' to recall why I'm out here in the rainfall, I'm tryin' to recall why I'm out here in the rainfall…**

 **With a sigh I nodded and Bo smiled. I could tell in Bo's face she was sincere and I let that guide my next move. As much as I had wanted to isolate myself from the Succubus, I didn't quite trust the Fae around here since they were so old school. As much as it hurt to admit that I trusted Bo, I couldn't ignore it and right now she was my only option. I was frustrated, confused, and sick of the growing sense of emptiness I walked around with and yet here was Bo making my heart race in spite of the circumstances.**

 **"** **Chop chop ladies, you'll be running a tight schedule. It's all in the instruction packet inside the Jeep. I'm sure Laurel here will have no problem reading it for both of you." The Morrigan insisted and with one last glance at Bo, I knew I couldn't give her up even when I tried.**

 **I glanced at Bo who had a small smile for me as she motioned for me the door to take. I let her show me the way but never missed the meaningful glances that her and The Morrigan shared. I looked at the ground the rest of the way down the corridors I had already memorized as I heard Bo's footsteps behind me. My jaw flexed with how I ground my teeth in anger and frustration. Something was going on and it felt like everything else in my life. Like there was something more, something going on, something I knew but I had lost my grasp on.**

 **I got in the Jeep and crossed my arms as I looked out the door and Bo climbed into her seat. The brunette looked like the Goddess she was in her black tanktop and skin tight jeans, with her ever present boots as she threw me another smile and a small shy nod. I felt something deep within me tug at the flutters in my stomach and the aching in my chest, not to mention the wetness between my legs. No, no matter what Bo had proven to be my weakness so far. I glanced at her with thoughts and questions rampant in my mind.**

 ** _"_** ** _Sleepwalker, where do you go? In the night, I find you in my dreams…"_** **I whispered so low she never heard me.**


	7. Chapter 7: Sleepwalker(Formatting fixed)

**Ok guys I got all the messages and reviews about the bad formatting, however I was conserving power and internet through the night to be able to communicate with loved ones. I appreciate the communication and well wishes. There's no power or water, but our property is safe and sound and so are our pets and family. There's a lot of fallen debris on roads but otherwise I've only heard of 1 casualty in the whole island.**

 **Sorry for any typos. Just to let everyone know SuccubusShinobi and I are well, safe and protected. We live in Puerto Rico and dealing with Hurricane Irma as we post this chapter. I hope you all are well and you enjoy where this story is going. Much love and reviews is appreciated.**

 **Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

**Chapter 07:Sleepwalker**

The road was smooth in front of us as it spread as far as I could see. The GPS would eventually spout some random directions but it had been fairly quiet after Laurel had read us the instructions of our trip. We both seemed to be lost in thought. We had been given brief instructions of a Fae compound to go to with a rest stop for the night. While I suspected that Laurel knew more about the matter than I did, I didn't bring it up. She seemed tensed and distant and I couldn't blame her. We had actively avoided each other for the past few weeks and here we were with Destiny throwing us together.

"Did you just decide to 'pop' back in your old turf for a visit?" she asked suddenly bringing me out of my thoughts as I tapped the steering wheel.

"No. I was looking for something." I admitted not really wanting to lie to the blonde.

"Something? Very informative there, Bo." Laurel's voice was full of sarcasm and bite and it made me mad if not for a second.

"Yes Laurel, I was looking for something." I bit back and she huffed.

"Why are we in the same car right now? I'm not stupid." She insisted and I shook my head at her stubbornness.

"I already told you it was a coincidence." I explained rolling my eyes growing aggravated.

"Bullshit Bo." Laurel scoffed crossing her arms in a sullen mood.

"What do you want from me Laurel? To say no or to disobey The Morrigan? I'm unaligned but if I don't respect her space she won't respect mine." I spat out and Laurel turned to me with an accusing glare.

"You two looked pretty chummy with one another, and don't take me the fool Bo. I can totally tell there's something else entirely going on than a simple coincidence and an errand." The blonde remarked and I huffed.

"I thought you said you trusted me." I threw in there as I cringed, knowing I was throwing below the belt.

"I just…" Laurel stayed quiet and just like that, with a huff, she turned to the window and didn't speak any longer.

 **By the time we had pulled into the hotel it was very late in the night. I could tell Bo was tired in the way she was slumping her shoulders while she grabbed the bags in the back. I was anxious because I hadn't fed in a while and I wasn't sure when I'd be able to do so while on the trip. I was craving a cigarette in the worse way and the patch on my arm wasn't helping at all. I was annoyed to the maximum possible standard but when I opened the hotel room door I realized that could reach new heights.**

 **"Why is there only one bed?" I asked in mild confusion as Bo sighed from behind me and then slowly but surely started laughing.**

 **"Oh that timeless cunt!" Bo laughed and gently pushed past me into the room.**

 **"What are you talking about?" I questioned as she threw the bags next to the bed and sat at the edge of it looking exhausted.**

 **"Evony has a wicked sense of humour. She also doesn't know how to stay out of people's business." Bo mentioned bitterly as she let herself fall onto the bed.**

 **I realized with this that Evony knew somewhat of Bo and I getting close since she had set up this trap. I scoffed at the realization, throwing the door closed behind me and rushing into the bathroom so I could collect myself. I wasn't sure I could spend a night in a confined space with Bo without feeding. I was already famished and truth was I didn't know what awaited us at our destination. If an ambush or any fight were to break out we'd completely need our energies to fight. I wasn't any good without a proper meal.**

 **With my racing heart I reached for the lone cigarette I kept in my pocket and realized I didn't have a lighter. I groaned and threw the damn thing on the floor as I gripped the sink hard trying to think myself out of this situation. I had done riskier things in some lifetimes, so why not? Looking around the bathroom I realized that there was a small window high above the bathtub. I would go out after Bo was asleep, snack on someone and be back before she knew it. She didn't look in the best shape to fight so I'd have to fight for both of us if the time came.**

 **Looking at my tired brown eyes and pale skin I realized I had to do something quicker than later. Although my body wanted me to take what I needed from Bo, I couldn't. Not only was I proud and the last conversation had left me with a sour taste in my mouth, but also I felt like Bo was not open to the idea of such things either. Last time she completely snapped and now I was stuck with her. I wondered how much Evony knew and what had Bo confided in the Dark Fae. All things considered it was well documented that Bo and Evony had at some point kindled a rivalry.**

 **I decided to see if by some miracle I could take the easy way out and Bo could lend me the Jeep in the pretence of getting us food. I'd grab myself a snack, grab her a couple of burgers, and presto! Problem solved without climbing. I hated sneaking off to eat as it made me feel dirty, but most of all it made me feel helpless. Like I imagine a human would be helpless in such a way and it was as if my whole body revolted against the very idea.**

 **I opened the bathroom door ready to offer Bo my delivery services but she looked fast asleep in the bed. I sighed and thanked heavens that I could just waltz out before moving to rearrange Bo from her uncomfortable position. When my hands touched her hand my blood ran cold and I panicked instantly.**

 **"Bo! Bo, wake up!" I yelped firmly as I struggled to find a faint pulse. "Fucks Sakes Bo!"**

 **I firmly grabbed Bo's face and jarred her mouth open gently with my hand. I couldn't believe this was happening but I wasn't going to give her up without a fight. It was like my body knew instinctively what to do and an ethereal emerald green Chi started a stream from me to her. I kept the flow steady until Bo's eyes fluttered slightly and I saw her take a deep breath.**

 **"Trick?" she wondered aloud as I smiled happily seeing her come back to life.**

 **Bo stammered blindly for a second before babbling non-sense and focusing on me with a furrowed brow.**

 **"Lauren?" she asked and I rolled my eyes. _Here we go again._**

 **"No Bo, I'm not Lauren. From my understanding I was told Lauren was human, she was an outstanding human, but a human none-the-less and I am no human. If I was human you wouldn't be talking to me right now, Bo." I admitted more harshly than I had to before grabbing her face and kissing her deeply.**

 **The brunette started to kiss me back before trying to push me away slightly. I held her firmly but pulled back my face to reveal the stream of Chi she was now receiving. She tore off my arms as if burned and looked at me spooked as I sighed. I knew this would happen, but I had hoped it didn't. People often assume I'm just a Valkrye but I'm not. I always surprise someone or another with this information, but I had hoped Bo could understand.**

 **Slowly but accurately, I started to shed pieces of my outfit as she watched me entranced. She might not have known it but she _had_ to feed of me, there was no choice. **

**"What—Lau-" Bo tried but fell silent as I saw her eyes looking tired and her movements lethargic.**

 **"I need you to relax Bo, you're not well. When was the last time you fed?" I asked as she sighed shaking her head.**

 **"This is not about that." She mumbled angrily from the other edge of the bed.**

 **I scooted over to her caressing the back of her neck in a teasing way. I could see she liked it even though she fought it and I saw this as my opportunity. I kissed along her tense jawline as my arms wrapped around her tense frame.**

 **"Bo please, you need to feed." I whispered as I felt a fire build within me from our closeness as I crawled onto her lap, straddling the brunette.**

 **As soon as I noticed our bodies were inches from one another, my body responded as it fed the flames with the feeling of her skin under my fingers. Bo sighed and I could see her arousal flare with each touch, she was famished and I wanted…no… _needed… to satisfy her._**

 ** _"I can't feed from you…" Bo repeated but I felt her arms wrap around me just the same._**

 ** _"Why? Because of some nobility? Bo please I'm Fae, we are genetically compatible with each other's body chemistry." I explained as her eyes met mine and her movements stilled._**

 **"But-" Bo started but I grabbed her hand determined.**

 **"But I want you Bo… _I need_ to feed as well, are you going to deny me that?" I whispered seductively as she looked at me with want. **

**I could see the slivers of darkest blue mix in her aura and I knew she could give in at any moment. I bit her bottom lip as I sent some Chi onto her much like she does with her thralls. It was not the same power but it was similar. I could give her a sense of heightened arousal without the power of persuasion that she possessed. I had struck a nerve with her nobility mentioning I needed to feed as well, and I could see the battle within her mind.**

 **"Lau-" Bo whispered sultrily before my lips crashed into hers to silence whatever protest she had because I knew I had won this argument before she did.**

 **As our lips danced together, I boldly grabbed her hand and guided her digits painfully slow through my heated wet centre. I could hear the moan deep within her and when her eyes opened to look at me, I could see her eyes were that shade of ethereal blue I loved. I knew the beast within her had liked my boldness and I shivered at the feeling of her fingers exploring the swollen nub of my clit. I gripped the back of her neck while my hips ground against Bo's hand as she stared into my now emerald eyes while I fed. I felt her explore my folds before the moan tore from my throat as she entered me slowly.**

 **"Fuck Bo." I moaned deeply as I felt her fill me up with two digits while her tongue licked my breast and her hands guided my hips.**

 **"I'm only doing this because you need to feed." Bo whispered scornfully as I smiled, licking my lips as another wave of pleasure took the words from me for a moment.**

 **"Aren't you feeding? Am I not enough to satisfy the Succubus?" I teased as I moved my hips in a way that made me take her up to her knuckles.**

 **Bo's moan reverberated through the room and with one swift movement I was now beneath her pinned to the bed while she was above me teasing my wetness. I loved the way she felt inside me, so deliciously right I never wanted it to end. The only thing better was…**

 **"Bo!" I screamed as I felt her wet tongue lap away at my folds while she was still buried inside me.**

 **My mind was going crazy with pleasure as I felt myself nearing the impending orgasm within me. I wasn't entirely sure what Bo needed, I wanted her completely full and no less, but I knew I was closer and closer. Her moans made the cave of her mouth vibrate and I rolled my eyes as wave after wave of pleasure hit me while she hungrily devoured me.**

******************* _Shattering anything that has reflections of you***************_

When the sunlight came through and the alarm went off, I could still feel the soreness in my body teasing me in a way. I looked beside me and admired the view completely. The blonde's hair was sprawled over the pillow but her neck was temptingly exposed. I traced the ink there with my fingertips before a smile broke off my lips. We had done marvellous things throughout the night and some morning, the stamina that replenished itself almost immediately was invigorating for the rounds that came. I had been pleasantly surprised to find Laurel's Succubus hidden deep within her but I didn't miss the taste this time and welcomed it. I felt invigorated and full of energy for whatever was to come our way in our trip. I gently nudged Laurel who stirred a bit before her eyelashes fluttered and opened with a start.

"What time is it?" she asked in a panic as I smiled and pointed at the hotel alarm clock pointing out it was 9:30am.

"It's early enough that we can catch breakfast before we roll out. We don't have long to go to our destination." I admitted but she shook her head suddenly tense.

"No, it's ok." Laurel admitted with a cold tone and with that pivoted on her foot grabbing her bag and disappearing into the room.

I let my head fall onto the pillow frustrated as I realized that I was getting the cold shoulder. Not that I was expecting Laurel to fall into my arms after last night, but I had felt something fall into place last night. I had fed off the blonde and she had done the same from me; it felt organic almost and brought me a lot of peace after the storm of emotions that would've been feeding off of Lauren. Although I understood that she wanted to prove clear that she was not human and different, my Succubus knew better and after endless tastes of her Chi I knew even more than ever before what it meant.

As we loaded onto the Jeep again and took the road I realized I was also getting the silent treatment. As much as I didn't want to acknowledge it, it was starting to piss me off. I had not had sex with the blonde against her will and to the best of my knowledge I had been seduced not the other way around. So I couldn't quite understand why I was getting the silent treatment.

It didn't help that Laurel looked gorgeous either, making my resolve waver and making me want to take her over and over. I wasn't quite sure if Laurel could see my aura, but if she could I should've been ashamed. The woman had me on fire with her white tank top, skin tight jeans, and boots. Meanwhile her dark blonde hair was straight and loose in the wind, aviators shielding her eyes. The blonde was engrossed in a book while playing with a small knife in her very capable hands. I suspected that it was the fact we were visiting an unknown compound that had made Laurel wear her weapons on her hip holster and boot. My favourite was the small knife holster in her thigh, if I was being honest. I sighed frustrated again.

"What is the deal Laurel? I was following instructions last night and here we are with the silent treatment." I demanded kind of annoyed.

The blonde turned to me from over her sun glasses with an incredulous look and scoffed. She delicately put a bookmark on her book and took what I assumed was the 'I'm gonna fucking school you' stance. I didn't really care, I wanted some conversation and even an argument was better than the silence.

"Whatever do you mean Bo?" Laurel asked innocently and I gave her an accusing look. "How do you want me to act?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"No, really Bo; think about it real hard. How do you want me to act? I tried to look for you the first time we fucked and you freaked out and left me to wake up alone..." Laurel started and I stammered

"Yeah…but-"

"…No buts Bo, because later I dined you and we moved forward like a couple would and you freaked the fuck out again!" she explained "And now I try to give you the no-strings attached and you're still unhappy?"

"Lau-"

"No. Nothing Bo, I can't keep up with this back and forth. Whenever you untangle the mess that you're in you let me know." She spat and I felt my shoulders slump in defeat.

*_*_*_*_*Our eyes were closed with hearts open wide. Dismissed every rule to abide by*_*_*_*_*

The compound we were in was neither a Light nor a Dark kind. It was a community that functioned on it's own accord and mostly outlaws came to seek refuge. I stood back while I watched Laurel question someone, she clearly had the situation under control and I had no idea how to respond to the earlier outburst I had provoked. After a few more words I saw her nod at the Ogre she was talking to and after they exchanged some coins she turned and walked towards me.

Laurel's stance was breathtaking, she was everything I loved in Lauren reinvented. Smart, cunning, dedicated, and determined were a few things that had stayed the same. Laurel on the other hand was also fierce and unwavering which suited her just fine. She reminded me of the old me, the one that had met a Doctor and fallen in love, the one who would bust heads now and ask questions later. I wondered lazily if I had something to do with how Laurel had come out. Maybe that was vain of me to think but I wondered none-the less.

"I have an address again" Laurel announced as she reached me.

"Great, I hope it's the right one. Time's-a-ticking and I need to get us to San Junipero on a deadline." I admitted as Laurel let out a sigh of frustration.

"I know, I just feel pretty close on this Bo. _I need_ to do this. Please." She actually begged and I nodded understanding as I glanced at my clock once again.

We navigated to the south side of the complex where there was a little village of slums. Laurel gave me a shocked look and made sure I was following as we twisted and turned while she recited the address of whom she had come to see. I didn't want to mention it because she looked wound up pretty tight but I had overheard Laurel say to the various people we had contacted through the place that she was looking for another Valkrye. Sometimes I heard her say aunt and others I could've sworn she had said mother.

"I'm hoping this is the place, nightfall isn't far." She commented with sadness in her voice.

"We'll find whoever we need to before we leave Laurel." I admitted after making a decision I had been mulling over for a while.

Laurel stopped in her tracks and turned on her heels as she looked me in the eyes, searching to see if I would stutter. I nodded indicating I meant it, knowing it meant a lot to hear whatever we were doing; that much I could gather by her urgency. Slowly her eyes watered and her hand came up to caress my face, I leaned into her touch longingly and my heart beat faster and faster. My hands wrapped around the blonde and I pulled her closer before her lips found mine in a melting, searing intense kiss that left me blown away.

I couldn't explain to Laurel what I wanted with her, how I expected to be treated and so on, however I could help her, and for now that seemed enough.

 **_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*Dismissed every rule to abide by_*_*_*_*_*_***

 **I held onto Bo's hand the entire way into the building where they had told me to go. I was hopeful that I was going to find who I was looking for here. I needed to know what was going on and why. I had been on a mission before San Junipero that had required me to lay low, now I wanted to know if I could come out. Reality was that as much as I enjoyed the small place, the freak-out Bo had beforehand reminded me of the fact that I would've been stuck with someone that didn't want me if worse came to worse in San Junipero. Besides, I hadn't seen my blonde friend in a long time and I wanted to make sure she was safe.**

 **As I crossed the threshold of the apartment my heart beat faster and I almost cried out. Everything was dishevelled and strewn about haphazardly and the stench was horrendous. I knew by the state of the library that my friend was safe from whoever did this but I needed to check our message system to be certain. I could hear Bo assessing the damage behind me with a whistle as she let go of my hand and I moved towards the books.**

 **I looked for Moby Dick and when I reached it, I looked for the page that we had arranged for. Bo stayed silent behind me as she tensed over the state of the apartment and I scanned the pages for the correct one. I reached it after a couple of tries and saw the message in thick black marker.**

 ** _Valkrye suits you. Let's see it again. Don't let dawn catch you in San Junipero._**

 ** _-love Ma_**

 **I smiled understanding and got up nodding. Bo gave me a look as I got up and torched the book with my lighter before giving the apartment one last sad look.**

 **"I was too late to see who I came for. The trip wasn't a total waste though, so I'm satisfied. It's later than it should be. Perhaps we should camp." I admitted as Bo shook her head while grabbing my hands gingerly while the touch sent chills through me.**

 **"We can't, Evony was very specific." Bo admitted and with that we walked off as I took one last glace at my childhood home.**

 **On the road again I knew I had to distract Bo with anything so we would stop along the way. I couldn't be in San Junipero for sunrise that much was clear. The brunette had been adamant that she needed to do as she was told and it was for our own safety. I felt like I had asked her in every possible way for a rest but to no avail when an idea came over me.**

 **"Hey Bo, can we please stop at a pharmacy? I want to buy a couple of things and some snacks." I indicated as she smiled.**

 **"Another trick?" she asked with a rueful smile and my heart melted at the sight of her dimples.**

 **"Not at all, but I'd like to make a small stop at a motel. We don't have to stay I promise but I need about 25 minutes please." I asked with my most innocent smile which seemed to work.**

 **After the pharmacy and snacks we arrived at the Motel where Bo had taken a room at. It was nice and secluded as well as perfectly out of the way of the main road. I looked up into the mirror as I read the instructions of my purchase, and I could see Bo had taken off her boots and tank top as she laid in the bed for a 'rest'. I whistled hoping she would go to sleep and excused myself to the restroom ready to feel like myself again.**

*_*_*_*_*_**_*_You're always in my dreams, you're always in my dreams_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 _The laughter fell in my ears and I smiled broadly knowing the happiness that was coming out of the tones in my heart. The light filled the living room and I could smell and hear the ocean as it crashed into the shore. I could feel the heat from the sun mutely in my skin as I took a big long sigh. The laughter rolled around once more and my smile widened._

 _At this point, I knew better to understand that this was a dream, and yet I held onto my dream state tighter, not wanting to lose the realness of the moment. I wanted to bask in a scene as perfect as this. San Junipero with my Lauren would've been a dream come true. I liked Laurel, she was a mix of old nostalgia and mystery surprises that always threw me for a loop. She could've been a version of Lauren, but in the end not my version. That pained me and although beggars couldn't be choosers, I was just glad I had a second chance with someone as stunning and brilliant as the blonde._

 _So far Laurel had been kind and sweet and everything in between with a side of badass, and yet my heart yearned to hear equations and the tones of this unabashed and unreserved laughter._

 _"What are you doing in there? I need you to come help me!" I heard the call from the bedroom and my smile widened._

 _If my dreams were where Lauren was alive and with me, then so be it._

 _"I'm coming love!" I called and started moving towards the room._

 _"Not quite yet!" Lauren's sing song filled with tease made me giggle and roll my eyes as my heart elated._

 _"Smart ass!" I returned as I got to the room and my eyes drank her in._

 _Her blonde hair was fanned out across the bed as her long legs stretched for miles. The black laced panties were taunting me while I could smell her arousal and my Succubus roared at her scent. I saw her smirk widen and an eyebrow rose in question with that tight lip smile I loved so much._

 _"We can't fool around now, Bo. I see you want me, but I want you to come get me." Lauren mentioned in a cryptic tone._

 _"I am here." I challenged as she shook her head._

 _"But are you? Are you here or there? Or nowhere at all? Bo come on, you have to snap out of it and come get me." Lauren mentioned challenging. "I'm counting on you to find me."_

 _"To find you? YOU LEFT ME LAUREN!" I demanded in a hurt tone. "I have not been able to move on for years! I am living in the shadow of our past!"_

 _"Because as long as we both walk the earth we can't not be together." Lauren whispered and I stopped in shock._

 _"What? What is this? Did you come to make it right? Did you come to say goodbye?" I asked urgently as tears ran down my face._

 _"Where did you go?" I demanded as she shook her head with a smile._

 _"Now you're sleepwalking again." Lauren smiled and I was startled._

With that there was a shift in my perception and I stood in the hallway. The room was half lit with dusk and the stream of a river was mutely in the background but my stare was just transfixed. I must've still been sleeping because the sight was a very much needed one for sore eyes. My heart raced and my pulse quickened with it as I felt my mind trying to make sense of the dream. Was it my reality, or this dream? The golden blonde locks framing her face in cascades and caramel eyes were a beautiful contrast with her chiselled skin. In just jeans and a button down fitting her in all the right places, my Succubus roared at the sight as my eyes watered.

"Did you come to make it right? Did you come to say goodbye? Am…I… sleepwalking…?" I begged in stunned recognition, while she put the keys down slowly tilting her head sideways.

"Where did you go? Now I can't be sleepwalking again…" I cried with what I felt was a full panic attack. "Lauren please… I'm going insane!"

I saw her face go blank with the statement and as she shifted I could see the tattoo on her neck, I realized I was wide awake. The dread filled me as I pulled away from the blonde in instant despair, I couldn't believe what had just happened nor could I comprehend it! My hands shook as I backed into the wall and silence enveloped us.

My mind ran a mile a minute and all I could think about was how this was just deja-vu after deja-vu. I frowned and shook my head. _What had just happened?_ One second I was looking at Lauren and the next it was Laurel. I cleaned the tears off my face as I tried to get a hold of myself while the hiccups of my cries still lingered in my body.

"What… what did you call me?" her voice shook before my head whipped towards her and our eyes met. Hers full of fear, mine full of uncertainty.

"Lauren." I resigned myself to be upfront now, there was no point of tip toeing around the issue was there?

"Why?" she breathed as her brow furrowed. "Why did you look at me like that? You were begging me like I was about to die… and I… what's… what's going on?"

Her tone was steady and as the questions poured out of her I could hear the frustration in them.

"Every time I'm around Yorkie, Kelly, and especially YOU I find myself in this minefield where the wounds are covered and I inadvertently step on them. I thought naively that earlier was a shift in our tides but I see it wasn't." Laurel demanded and I sighed.

"I don't know…" I mumbled as she shook her head. "How long have I been asleep? We should've been in San Junipero."

"No. Who's Lauren? A ghost I can never defeat!?" the blonde demanded.

"Laurel please…" I sighed pained as I looked out the windows paranoid.

However the blonde shook her head and I knew I had to give her something. I reached into my boot where I kept my knife and carefully took it out opening the hilt. Laurel needed to know why this had affected me so much. With delicate care I offered the battered photograph to the blonde and her eyes widened in shock.

"I look just like her." She admitted evenly.

"You do and it drives me mad at times Laurel… and you're great, you really are and you don't deserve this." I admitted as Laurel shook her head.

"She left you Bo, why is it so hard to move on?" Laurel whispered and I nodded.

"She had a good reason, I know that for sure, Laurel. Do you see how striking the resemblance is?" I challenged and she nodded transfixed.

"Am I-" she started but never finished.

Before I could utter anything else the front door swung open and in walked a dark haired stunner. I had to take a double glance at the goth black haired tanned beauty with green eyes. My jaw hit the floor as the blonde walked in behind her with the same confident stride her mother had. I was shocked and speechless but I snapped out of it from Laurel's voice.

"Who the fuck are you?" her tone had bite to it and I could tell she was agitated.

"Well, hello to you too Auntie Lauren. Long time no see." The small brunette smiled her father's smile and I shook my head.

"Oh, so you'll tell me what she won't?" Laurel demanded as Dagny gave me a nod with a smile.

"What? Did you fuck her stupid?" Dagny joked as Mackenzie gave her a glare.

"Language, lover." Mackenzie warned and Dagny rolled her eyes. "Besides Dagny, you know this isn't Lauren exactly. More importantly, YOU would know if you had returned any of my calls! Damn Dude!"

"Phone calls?" I asked incredulously as Dagny nodded.

"I had to track you down like you were a criminal." Mackenzie admitted and I stared confused.

"Evony is one sly dog to keep you hidden." Dagny confessed and I shook my head.

"Wait what?" I asked as the ladies looked at me like I had swallowed an animal whole.

"You've been under a rock haven't you?"

I shook my head at Mackenzie's last accusation toward me and she smiled shaking her head as Laurel stood there fuming. Mackenzie stretched out her hand in a truce and Laurel hesitantly shook it.

"I'm Mackenzie, and it seems like we've caught you and Auntie Bo in quite a pickle." The dark haired goth explained. "Dagny and I will explain what we know, if you let us."


	8. Chapter 08: Lullabies (Adventure Club Re

**I want to thank all of you for the reviews on the last chapter. So far Chapters 07/08 are our favourites and we hope you enjoy them a lot as well. Please remember to review and let us know how you enjoyed our efforts. As always a warm thank you to SuccubusShinobi for feeding my creativity and edging me to strive for more in my writing.**

 **Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 08: Lullabies (Adventure Club Remix)**

 **As we sat in the bed of the motel I couldn't even think straight. Not only was I the spitting image of 'The Eternal Healer' and Bo's wife, but also some people had found us who knew about me. Or at least they claimed to know. Bo seemed to trust these people and had arranged to meet them at the diner not far from here so that Bo and I could talk. Things were getting far more complicated and perhaps it was time to talk and come clean with each other. After all I was hurting as well as the Succubus was.**

 **I didn't want to cause her pain and yet I was; it was why I had distanced myself yet here I was. I was selfish indulging my continuing need to be around her, but Bo couldn't stay away either. After looking at the photograph could I really blame her? I mean things were creepy sometimes, but this was at a whole other level altogether. Now that I was back to my normal self with the hair dye job, I was a dead ringer for the human. Bo turned and looked at me from behind curious eyes and I simply shrugged as she approached.**

 **"** **You look lovely." Bo breathed and I shook my head with a small smile, my heart running rampant at the compliment. I didn't want it, it wasn't mine to take and I could savour the bitter taste of the backhand that was Lauren's memory.**

 **"** **Now what?" I asked trying to steer our conversation from that dangerous path and Bo shrugged as mimicking me.**

 **"** **Who goes first, I guess…" Bo admitted and I nodded before taking a deep breath.**

 **Somewhere deep inside me I had hoped that telling Bo my story, that showing her who I was would open her eyes and show her I wasn't who she thought I was. I had held it off because I felt that if she realized this she would either not want anything to do with me from the sheer disappointment, or she would just stop seeing me in the whatever way we were seeing each other. It was all very messy, it was definitely complicated, but it was us.**

 **"** **I owe you as much, Bo." I started and Bo squeezed my hand in support.**

 **"** **So as you now know, I'm a hybrid. I'm part Valkrye from my mother's side and I guess my Father was an Incubus. I, like you, inherited a strange combination between the two. I've learned to use my Valkrye powers with my Ma, although I cannot cast doubt. I do have other various gifts like multiple lives." I explained and Bo opened her mouth with what I didn't doubt were questions.**

 **"** **You are not you?" Bo asked in confusion and I giggled at the wording as I shook my head. I'd get this question quite frequently so I already knew how to handle it.**

 **"** **I am me in every life so far. However I don't remember anything but my last two lives, and even that came about shady circumstances. Apparently I've had 6 lives so far, but I have no way of confirming that." I shook my head lamenting my luck. "Sometimes there are people I feel I've met before like Yorkie and Kelly… It's utterly frustrating to not remember why…"**

 **"** **What… what about your mother, when did she have you?" Bo asked and I shook my head.**

 **"** **It's not like that. My mother doesn't talk about how I came to be her daughter, and because it was my first life I had to be raised from a baby and not much sticks, you know?" I admitted as Bo tilted her head and nodded.**

 **"** **I was a Valkrye warrior in my 5** **th** **life, I only lived 20 years. I died betrayed by my own troops in a Coup since I was so ruthless… I deserved it, of course." I admitted bitterly as Bo cringed a bit.**

 **"** **I have a record too, Laurel." Bo admitted and I nodded. "What about the second life do you remember?"**

 **"** **The one before this one is only in glimpses. I remember feeling like I kept searching for something. I was a science teacher if you could believe that. Died pretty young there too, there was a shooting in the school and I tried to stop the shooter." I admitted with a huge remorseful sigh.**

 **"** **Wow, you were a hero." Bo mentioned but I shook my head.**

 **"** **Not really, it was selfish of me. I was having an affair with a student and I tried to protect him." I admitted. "Not so noble when your Succubus powers kick in."**

 **"** **I can relate" Bo chuckled and squeezed my hand while we searched each other's eyes.**

 **After a second I looked down not wanting to make anything of it. I was tired of the game that came with Bo, it was exhausting and I didn't know if I could do it anymore. I wasn't who she wanted me to be but it hurt no less. I could see it each time she looked at me, how her face would light up with her undying love. A second later it would be muted and fade with the recognition of who I am. I didn't think I could take it much longer and I didn't know why Bo kept putting herself through such a torturous situation.**

 **"** **Laurel, I really like you." Bo voiced, almost reading my thoughts as I looked up incredulous.**

 **I shook my head knowing it wasn't me she liked but her wife whom she saw in me. I wanted nothing more than for her words to be true. I let out a big sigh and my eyes watered as my tears fell.**

 **"** **You like who I remind you of, Bo." I reminded her as she took me into her arms tightly.**

 **"** **No Laurel, I like you. I like things that are specifically you. Like the way you wear your weapons belt as a lefty even though you're a right handed person for everything else. The way that you walk up to people in a commanding way when you want to know something, or the way that you explain how to flex my mind into a more aggressive stance… among many other things." Bo explained whispering in my ear.**

 **"** **Oh Bo." I breathed as she nodded kissing the top of my head wrapping her arms around me, enveloping my soul.**

 **"** **I won't lie and tell you that I'm not reminded of my wife every time I see you, but really Laurel, that just confirms my suspicions." Bo pressed as I pulled back from her wanting to hear this attentively.**

 **"** **Bo, please… your wife was human." I explained pulling away from her arms. A moment so beautiful destroyed by a ghost once more. "Why do you continue this train of thought?"**

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* Forever in my mind only you *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

My heart hammered in my chest as she looked at me square in the eyes awaiting the rest of my sentence. No doubt she was drawing conclusions herself and I needed to put those to rest. I held on to hope that she wouldn't count me as crazy after her many revelations already. I let her go and paced the room nervous. The time was almost up for us to meet Mackenzie and if she was anything like her mother she'd come looking for us for sure.

"Go on." Laurel indicated trying to reel in her anger, and I nodded understanding I had one shot to convince Laurel on this. It was now or never.

"You know how you said that in all of your lives you've been you?" Laurel nodded and I took that as confirmation to continue. "Well I believe that to be true because I see my wife in you, and you in my wife."

"Bo…" Laurel looked at me with a bit of pity and I hated it so I pressed to get my point across.

"Have you always originally been this kind of blonde?" I asked trying to prove my point.

"Yes, this is the blonde I prefer." She admitted and I nodded in encouragement as she threw me a quizzical look.

"And let me guess, even though you're this badass Fae warrior, you like baking even though you find it silly and beneath you. Am I right?" I asked, my pulse quickening as I found myself finally able to speak these things aloud.

Her eyes met mine with anxiousness as I saw the wheels start to turn in her head. These were things we had not shared with one another, but they were things I had confirmed with Yorkie and Kelly to be true of Katie as well. In the end, if my theory was right she would see my point, the logic, and perhaps something unexpected would happen. In the end I wasn't sure what I wanted from this, what I expected. I mean, I wouldn't be lying to say I had hope, that like a bad drama, something I'd say would snap her out of it and make her realize her true identity.

"Yes…" Laurel breathed, edging me on as she got lost in thought.

"…And you are so organized with your tools, no matter if it's axes or microscopes. You love order. You're borderline compulsive." I baited as the blonde's eyes met mine, and I could tell the seed of doubt had just been planted in her as well.

"Yes…" she whispered and I nodded.

"Think about this… if there are remnants and echoes of your past life and the one before, why wouldn't this be the same?" I tried but as sudden as her agreeableness came, anger replaced it and she paced at a furious pace.

"No! Bo, you don't understand! She was human, I'm very much not!" the blonde spat with dismay and I recognized in her actions the scorn.

"Laurel-"

"No! I don't care how you paint it Bo, I'm Fae! Your wife… Your wife left you! SHE COULD HAVE STAYED WITH YOU BUT SHE CHOSE NOT TO!" she yelled and before I knew it my, hand had come up to strike her face.

She looked incredulously at me but I couldn't take it anymore, something had snapped.

"The years! I was with her for years. You can't begin to imagine. You can't know the bond, the commitment, the boredom, the heartbreak, the yearning, the laughter, the love of it. The fucking love. You just cannot know! Everything we sacrificed. Every obstacle we had to overcome just to be together. The years I gave her. The years she gave me. Did you think to ask?" I demanded "Everyone assumes I should be over her, and that she left me, that she was 'just a HUMAN', but she was my LIFE! And if you find the very idea that you may have been Lauren in another life SO REVOLTING and so impossible, then why does your chi taste exactly like hers?!"

Laurel looked away ashamed as I came to my senses. I was riddled with guilt for slapping her, but the fire of anger in my body had been too much to handle. I knew this situation was hard for her and yet I couldn't stand for such disrespect. The fact that Lauren was human was not the issue and if Laurel didn't want to see the connection or truth so be it. Maybe Mackenzie or Dagny had the answers or maybe they didn't but I was done hoping for a miracle.

"We should go Laurel." I mentioned sharply trying to calm my racing heart.

"Wait… please, I have a question…" Laurel begged, grabbing my arm.

When I turned to her Laurel looked a bit paler than usual. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was shell shocked or worse. I gave her a nod to continue while I didn't dare to speak.

"What did you call her? When she was your wife, you must've had a nickname." Laurel mentioned softly as her hand rested on my arm.

"Lau…" I breathed and the blonde's eyes watered as she blinked the tears away with a sad nod.

"I'm sorry about what I said." She whispered and I nodded from a tight stance. And even if I didn't understand, I respected the shift in her stance.

"Lauren would've been brilliant enough to turn herself Fae. She had done it before and I sure as hell know she could do it again. She turned Evony Fae, Yorkie, and who knows who else? I'm sure she could've done that to herself. I'm sure because I knew how remarkable of a human being she was." I defended and Laurel wiped a tear that fell down her face gingerly. "She had done it before."

The alarm broke us apart as my phone went off subsequently and I had to make an effort to snap out of the moment. Laurel pushed me out the door and off we went to the diner trying to find answers. We walked the distance wanting the time to think things over. The blonde leaned into me as we walked and I allowed it. I didn't want to take back what I had said or done, but I wasn't going to rehash it with the blonde. I let her hold on to my arm as if I was escorting her and she seemed a world away. I knew Lauren, and Laurel might've been a different version of her or whatever, but this was still Lauren in my arms. She seemed lost in thought and I allowed it to stay as such, who was I to decide when she was ready to mull things over with me or not?

"I'm done fighting the possibilities Bo, I'm open to all types of outcomes here." Laurel confessed in a whisper burrowing further into my arm. "All I know is that every lifetime I felt like I was missing some one, and that feeling has been pretty much quenched by your presence.

I let that declaration seep into my bones, and it was like a balm healing my aching wounds. Could I dream of this being a chance at redemption with the blonde? I squeezed her arm as we reached the diner and I gave her a meaningful look as I swung the door open for her to walk through. As we entered the diner and spotted Mackenzie and Dagny, I felt Laurel become closed off and alert beside me as she pulled away from the comfort of our walk and got into business mode sort-of-speak.

We approached the table where the two bounty hunters were having a heated debate over fashion and Laurel perked up. I smiled at the thought of her in high end gowns and cleared my throat to get the girls attention but also to cover my blush. They both turned to me with wide guilty smiles before offering us to sit across them in the empty bench. Laurel insisted I'd take the inside part while she sat on high alert on the outside watching every exit.

"Hey there auntie, what's up?" Mackenzie chit chatted away as I watched Dagny take in Laurel and her movements.

"Not much, came to see what was up. You guys showed up doing a lot of talking, and I'd like some kind of answers to be honest." I admitted raising my hands feeling Laurel move beside me to pay attention to us.

"I've been trying to track you down for several years now, auntie." Mackenzie stated and I rolled my eyes.

"I needed some time, I was devastated." I admitted as Laurel's hand found my own and we shared a look.

"I'm sorry you thought you had to face that alone. Dyson and I have been looking for you but it seems that Evony had a hand in keeping us apart." Dagny cut in and I shrugged. "Why would she do that? I'm your fucking sister!"

"Language Dagny!" Mackenzie warned and Laurel looked back and forth from the blonde and I in surprise.

"Well, Evony sometimes does strange things. She, much like me, is under the impression that something happened to Lauren that was not quite death. What in particular is yet to be determined." I explained and Mackenzie nodded as she stared at Laurel intently.

"Wow, you're gorgeous." Mackenzie noted as I noticed Laurel shift uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, but it's insane to see you."

"Um… thanks?" Laurel looked at me for guidance but I shrugged confused.

"Well we were probably in late senior year when she showed up, right?" Mackenzie started looking to Dagny for confirmation, who nodded while the goth launched off in explanation. "It was Dagny's last check up and true to her word, Dr. Lewis appeared as if out of nowhere."

"She had a knack for that, didn't she?" Dagny commented and they shared a laugh.

"Anyways long story short is that when she checked Dags over, she said she'd drop by again in a few more years if she could. She had sounded really unsure, but a few years later there she was with red hair and a big smile. She went by Dr. Dennis then. She asked us to be discrete about our meetings; she kept saying we needed to be careful for one reason or another."

It had been the second time that name had come up in relation to Lauren, and this time I was quite certain that Lauren and Dr. Dennis were one and the same. The way Laurel squeezed my hand told me she was hanging onto every word and I didn't blame her. Maybe I had gotten through to her after all.

"Go on." I insisted and Dagny shook her head.

"That's the thing though, we never saw her again. She sent us a package years ago and it had some sort of vial. I'm sure you haven't noticed because us Fae are kind of absent minded to stuff like this, but if you look closely you can see Mackenzie hasn't aged, Bo." Dagny looked me straight in the eye as I gasped and turned to the goth, who looked so much like her mother.

"Oh my God… what…what?" I stuttered but Mackenzie laughed and waved me off.

"It had a bow on it that said _'Hope my nieces enjoy the only gift I can give'._ And I trusted her… that was about 40 years ago?" Mackenzie once more looked over at Dagny for confirmation who gave it.

I hadn't noticed it really until now the ragged breathing from next to us, but I could feel Laurel squeezing my hand incredibly hard. I wanted to calm her down, but why? She needed this, she needed to realize this was the truth, that there was a possibility that destiny had brought us together once more. There was a possibility she was once human, and then what?

"Laurel?" I offered but she stood and walked to the front of the café without a word. "Now what?"

"Let her calm down Auntie, it's a lot to process. Now we can't confirm that Laurel and Lauren are the same person, but fuck sakes!" Dagny exclaimed as Mackenzie glared at her.

"I just can't wrap my head around it fast enough." I admitted as they nodded.

"…And of course this doesn't mean that she will remember anything for all we know. I mean you could be stuck with Laurel for the rest of your life."

Mackenzie pointed out as I looked up in shock at a possibility I had stupidly not considered. Somewhere in the back of my mind I would always find a way to be with Lauren again. The realization had hit me like a bucket of cold water and I wasn't sure what to do about it.

"I'm still waiting on a couple of contacts from Amsterdam who had heard something about a scientist that had come from the colonies and had done various experiments on humans and Fae alike. It seemed the woman had wanted to harness Fae powers into our mortal bodies." Mackenzie explained as my heart hammered even more wildly.

 _Amsterdam? Experiments?_ How far and how long had Lauren been traveling?

"By the way, your date ditched." Dagny pointed out as I looked up to see Laurel hop in a cab looking terrified.

"Fuck… of course." I sighed pained.

"Language aun-"

"I know, I know babes." I admitted as I raised my hand to order a coffee and give the blonde time.

 ***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* You're my first love *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 ** _"…_** ** _Lau"_** **I gasped as I awoke from the dream like state I had fallen into so vividly.**

 **I woke up with a gut-wrenching sob that dislodged from my chest like a cascade of guilt and bile all mixed into one. I cried wholeheartedly and alone at the confusion and agony of the dream, but my fear and my panic was just that; this wasn't a dream. I could only confirm it with time and patience as I had many times before, but I had a feeling I was right. It'd be my third conscious time after-all and if this was to be like all the others, then by all means it had started as the enigma it was.**

 **I tried to get a hold of myself but the flashes of dark brunette hair and the familiar smell of her skin left me breathless and I didn't understand what to do with the information. What had happened to my life? One moment I'm a fierce Valkrye warrior, one of the most undisputed soldiers of the Union, loyal and confident in battle, and the next moment everything I held dear shattered. I hadn't been much certain in anything in my lifetime, certainly not of my past since it was so murky, but the only constant and pride I had was held in my Fae blood. I felt myself unique like the Dark Queen, whom had inherited both parents' powers, only a selected few did and usually it was the strongest of them all. Was I to confront that I was a fraud?**

 **My head pounded with the information I tried to process as I grimaced the tears away. I was having an existential crisis and I didn't have anyone I could turn to. Yorkie and Kelly were in the cabin and it was simply too far for me to go in this state, also I didn't know what they knew or didn't know about me. Bo had mentioned that Lauren aka Dr. Dennis turned Yorkie Fae and if that was the case, and Bo's crazy circle of confusion was true, that meant I had done it in some way or form. I shook my head denying it once more. I couldn't be her, I was…was…what? Fae? Was I?**

 **Bo was out of the question, I had ditched her in the town back where we had run into those bounty hunters that had talked to us about Dr. Lewis. I had bolted as fast as the cab would take me to the only place that felt like home and enclosed myself but that didn't work either. My dreams were getting shiftier and now even home wasn't the haven I expected. I cried loudly and confused for everything that was happening. I cried for Bo and Lauren and what they lost, I cried for myself and Bo and what we would never have. Then I cried for myself and the loss of an absolute in the entirety of my life as I knew it.**

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*I wanted to go away with you_*_*_*_*_*

It was night time when I had rolled around San Junipero. I wanted to go to Laurel's house but I couldn't bring myself to do so. She had run away from me after all and perhaps I was pushing too far too soon. Or perhaps I had pushed too far. I could see Laurel for some reason was an elitist when it came to being Fae. Much like Dyson when we met, she looks down upon humans and I wondered how much of that would subconsciously be Lauren if she was still in there.

Lauren had hated her humanity the last years we were together. She was always going on and on about how she felt helpless most of the time when it came to Fae matters. The power she had gained while being a conduit was fresh in her mind, and I could tell she resented being human again and having an expiration date.

As I sat in my hammock at the beach that's what I wondered. I wondered if Lauren had simply died and came back as Laurel somehow. I wondered how much of a person could be retained through past lives if that was the case. I pondered on Mackenzie's words and what they meant. What if Laurel was like this from now on? No miracle memory recuperation, no Lauren-esque rants about microscopes… Would I be able to handle such a thing?

As I lit a joint to relax my frazzled nerves, I wondered if this was a deal breaker or if I would keep being loyal as a dog. Truth was that Laurel had been nothing but accommodating to me and I wasn't lying when I said I liked her. Would I prefer Lauren? Sadly, in a heartbeat… but that in no way meant that I didn't want Laurel or that I would be prepared to let Laurel go. My Succubus had made very clear from the last tryst where we fed that I was not to quit Laurel again.

I wanted to listen this time, to make it work and help her navigate whatever the future awaited us. I was ready to be patient, to get to know the Valkrye, and be committed to making it work with her. Laurel deserved as much, she had been nothing but kind to me. Sure the blonde had much more bite and personality than Lauren but I liked that, I liked that she was a strong independent woman. Because as much as I loved Lauren and who she was, it was excruciating to see her struggle day in and day out with her sense of helplessness. Lauren rolled with the punches of Fae life while I could see that Laurel preferred to be doing the punching of Fae in life. I sighed, knowing I had my answer. I would love and probably gravitate towards any form of Lauren that life gave me, even if it wasn't the one I was used to.

With that matter decided I looked at my watch suddenly anxious. I wanted to see the blonde regardless of her previous state. Something felt off and I couldn't shake it, and I knew the only way to quell the feeling was with the beauty in my arms. I decided time didn't matter really when all these crazy things were happening and I needed the blonde to know that I cared for her more than either of us gave me credit for. I was sure that with time, if a miracle wasn't coming, our love could grow to perhaps some recollection of what it used to be. It was like our souls recognized each other no matter what vessel they were in.

Feeling my heart hammer at the realization, I sprung to action wanting my keys and my phone to get going with the long drive to Yorkie and Kelly's. They had no phone there and I didn't have Laurel's address but one way or another I would have her in my arms before dawn.

 ** _*_*_The pieces in my life run away with you_*__**

 ** _The sun came in through the window warming the room and I could feel the heat radiate from the wooden floors. The windows and floors had just been washed and I could smell the lavender cleaner we had used for the task. I could hear movement in the other room and smiled as the knowledge hit me instantly that it was Bo. I smiled fondly at her humming while she looked for whatever it was and stretched in the white sheeted bed that was so comfortable._**

 ** _With a smile and a sigh my body came to life and took me towards the living room, where I had padded into barefoot and pantless but I didn't seem to care. My stomach fluttered with butterflies and my body became alive with buzzing with every step I took towards the other woman in the house. Passing the modest living room where the TV was playing on a low volume. I could see the math books mixed in with the generic white folders with colourful tabs that had the seal of the clinic littering the coffee table where Bo's coffee was growing colder by the second. I shook my head knowing I'd have to talk to her later about using her thermos if she insisted on forgetting her coffee._**

 ** _When I turned towards the kitchen hallway it was illuminated with light from the day that flooded the city. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of the brunette standing there all legs and luscious hair with just one of my button downs adorning her shoulders lazily with a pair of black lace panties. She was deep in concentration as she manned the stove while trying to follow a recipe on the checker red and white recipe book I loved so much._**

 ** _I padded in silently, I was sure the Succubus didn't even know I was up and I intended to keep it that way as long as I could. I loved the feel of the marble on my bare feet as I reached the kitchen and shivers formed up and down my arms at how much I adored moments like this with Bo. I knew I would never live a more perfect time than what I shared with this woman. No matter what, I would find a way to love her for the hundred years or so I had._**

 ** _I could almost feel her body heat as I approached her, and not wanting to spoil the moment I held my breath as I neared the perfect beauty. In a second my arms had wrapped around her hips as my lips found her shoulder, and I could feel the strong muscled body of the Succubus melt into mine like putty. I loved how our bodies came together in the utmost perfect puzzle pieces kinda way. I heard the hum of approval before Bo chuckled and then she turned around in my arms to face me._**

 ** _My breath caught in my throat at the way she looked at me. It was that undying love I had seen before but now there it stayed in her eyes as she analyzed me carefully with a smile on her perfect pouty lips. I ran my palm against the silky exposed skin of her chest, between the valley of her breast that was exposed by leaving the shirt unbuttoned. My nose found the nook of her neck as I took her scent in deeply and smiled against her warm skin. This was life, Bo was my life._**

 ** _We pulled apart for a brief moment when Bo jumped from getting burned in the back of her legs by whatever she was making and between curses and mutters she turned back to it._**

 ** _"_** ** _I swear you're going to be the death of me with how you consume my every thought, Lauren Lewis."_**

 **I gasped as I sat up in the darkness of the room I was in as my heart raced in a panic. My lungs couldn't get enough air no matter how much I gasped and I wondered if this was a panic attack. The tears that brimmed my eyes fell as I felt the residual warmth of the memory run through my body and I wept hard into my hands as I slumped defeated into myself.**

 **It had all felt so real, so true. It had all been so vivid and full of life. It had been so beautiful and brimmed with love. I couldn't stop shaking as the sobs wracked my frame and went through me as I sank deeper and deeper into confusion. I didn't remember the events of this dream or any other thing relating it, but I knew what I felt and I couldn't deny it. I had felt myself being human, being mortal, being fragile and scared. I had felt myself being full and loved, I had felt myself being adored and appreciated. I had felt myself be completely in the moment and happy.**

 **I had felt myself being Lauren Lewis.**


	9. Chapter 9: Chihiro

**Alrighty! This is our first update post Hurricane Maria. Thank you all for the well-wishes and messages it has meant the world to us. We have been spared the brunt of it, our house, family and pets still stand but we were few of the lucky ones. There's still millions of people without food or water. Yesterday we went on a mission to deliver water, hot food and supplies to a community that has been unreachable from the rest of the world for now 26-27 days. They stand at the end of a broken main bridge everyday to hope someone comes to deliver aid. Yesterday we did and crossed the treacherous river bank and climbed up to be with them. The devastation in Puerto Rico is huge but we will prevail.**

 **I'm sorry to get carried away, it's a tough situation for SuccubusShinobi and I, but with the help fellow human kindness we know Puerto Rico will rise again.**

 **Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

 **Reflections of You**

 **Chapter 09: Chihiro**

 **I didn't dare go to sleep again; sleep was only confusing me deeper and brought on an anxiety attack unlike any other. I was upset and tired, but I knew dawn wasn't far. Then I could go to the gallery and pretend things weren't as messed up as they were. I didn't want to dwell on anything right now. I wanted to go back to my life before all of this… before… I shook my head unable to think it. I was happy but hollow before Bo and as much as I hated the situation I was in, I could never bring myself to regret Bo.**

 **I needed some answers quickly and the only one I knew could give me them was MIA. I felt helpless and that had me feeling like a human. Again my thoughts ran rampant with everything that was happening and I all but screamed into my empty house. Startlingly enough, it didn't feel as empty while the knocks on the door resonated through the darkened house while I stared at the front door. I had been sitting in the living room staring into nothing in the dark when this happened.**

 **I sprung into action grabbing the knife under the cushion of the couch and walked purposely to the door. These weren't exactly visiting hours and I hadn't given my address to anyone who would come at this time. My door's peephole had busted and I couldn't see outside, so I had no choice but to open the door to find out who was on the other side. I knew San Junipero was a quiet town in terms of crime but I was vigilant none-the-less.**

 **When I swung open the door an elbow hit me square in the jaw and in the confusion I slashed with my knife feeling an attack impending. When I heard the curse my body froze and my blood ran cold.**

 **"** **Bo?" I asked horrified, as I pulled away from sticking a fatal blow with my knife.**

 **"** **Yes, yes! Oh God, did I hit you?" she asked equally horrified as I pulled her into my house and turning on the light in one swift movement.**

 **"** **Don't worry about the elbow I'm more worried about-"**

 **My body went completely iced cold as my eyes landed on the growing red stain near her clavicle. It was as if the embarrassment or the horror of hitting me had not let her feel the blow I had delivered in our tangle.**

 **"** **My God, I stabbed you." I breathed as I watched Bo look down on her shoulder and notice what I was pointing out.**

 **"** **Oh… No wonder that hurts. Wow, I haven't been stabbed in sooooo long that now that it happened I am going into shock? Oh my God am I?" Bo rambled and asked as I felt my body shaking from the adrenaline.**

 **"** **Sit still, I'll get a first aid kit I have here somewhere." I rushed as I sat her on the couch and ran to the kitchen. "Wait, what am I saying!? Feed off of me Bo!"**

 **"** **No!" she called from the living room. "I—I'd rather not."**

 **How stupid could I be? Stabbing whomever was at my door!? I mean, my jaw still hurt from the elbow, but still I couldn't understand how I had swung so recklessly. As I found my kit in the cupboard I felt my hands steady and my body move to its own accord. I rushed to Bo's side and kneeled on the floor. She was already taking her shirt off revealing a black lace bra. As I saw how deep the wound was I worried. I had never been good at mending my fellow comrades and now I had to delicately take care of someone I cared about.**

 **Before I took the antiseptic to it with my shaking hands Bo looked at me square in the eye. It was not the look I craved for, but I could see it; the trust and love. However mutedly Bo could, I was loved by her. In what degree I couldn't tell. To me it looked as if an understanding mother was looking at their child but I wasn't good with emotions in this life or the last it seemed.**

 **"** **Just take a deep breath and you'll be fine. You have great hands Lau, I trust you." Bo's voice was like caramel and her words washed over me like a wave of warmness and security.**

 **In an instant I nodded and it was as if my hands knew now where to go and what to do. They moved with no thought in my part whatsoever; I could see and understand what was happening to the skin in front of me and in parts of my brain I could make the connection of what I needed to do to solve it. I felt Bo tense at the tone of the hum that escaped me as I analyzed the information but I dismissed it as my hands worked away diligently.**

 **"** **It's a deep laceration but it's not as terrible as I expected. I must be out of practice." I winked at Bo whom tried to give me a warm smile which didn't quite reach her eyes. "I will suture the skin and it'll heal on your next meal, but it might leave a scar with how bad my hands tremble."**

 **The joke was meant to cut the tension, but it didn't and I almost gave up on civil conversation. I don't know what I had said or done, but I knew now I had somehow reminded her of the ghost. I sighed and she shook her head giving me a warm smile that did reach her eyes this time. I felt her eyes taking my semi-naked figure in. It was the wee hours of the morning after all and I slept naked, so now only a thin silk robe covered my body. I could see the attraction in Bo rise like the swell of the highest waves the surfers wanted to take but were too afraid to.**

 **"** **Are you almost done?" Bo asked in a way that sent shiver down my back. It was sensual, it was caring, and everything I wanted it to be.**

 **"** **Just about." I breathed as Bo nodded, and I was suddenly hyperaware of how close we really were.**

 **"** **You know…" the brunette whispered in a sultry tone before her good arm extended, and she had opened my robe as I held my breath for her to continue. "It's the first time I get to** ** _really_** **see your body… It's just so strong and sexy."**

 **The words were making my skin heat up as her eyes scanned my body. I felt on display as both lights from the kitchen and living room were on letting my skin be the centerpiece of her attention. Her fingers now followed upwards along my collarbone before following the curve of my skin and touching the back of my shoulder blade, successfully disrobing that side of me. Her smile grew warmly before she leaned and her lips found a scar I had on my skin in the area. I hummed with a sigh as her caresses made my body flutter but I needed to stay focused here.**

 **"** **Bo, I just stabbed you… and we… we have so much to sort out." I finally admitted the real reason why I left. "I can't keep playing with fire if I know I'm going to get burnt. And you are Fire, Bo Dennis."**

 **I heard Bo's chuckle fill the room as her arms enclosed me and squeezed my skin, her lips licked my shoulder's warm bony edge there and I could feel my pulse quicken. I moaned this time at the contact and my hands wrapped around her back under her shirt. I loved how warm Bo always was and after the dreams I kept having, I wanted her more and more. It was so intense I was afraid it would consume me and I wondered if I was losing touch with my Succubus.**

 **"** **You know how you got this scar?" Bo whispered against my skin as I shivered.**

 **"** **No, I never have." I breathed as my hands bunched up her hair, and pulled her lips to my own with a hunger that was unquenchable.**

 **Bo's lips moulded to my own in a delicious way that took my breath away. I wanted to get lost in Bo, to hold her after she had been deep inside me and brush her hair back. I wanted her to kiss my shoulder after our romps and tell me how epic the night had been. I wanted her to slam me against her bedposts and take me until I forgot where she began and where I ended. But as I pushed her away I realized all those things weren't mine to take. They were Lauren's and I was not her.**

 ***_*_*_*_*_*_*** Feeling less tired than I did before._*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Laurel seemed distracted and lost in thought after we pulled away. Maybe in the end I shouldn't have brought it up but I wanted to see where this went. I was pushing, but she seemed different of sorts. It was like she was more perceptive to anything that might be possible with her, Lauren, and I. Laurel's eyes looked into mine, her expression held so much that I almost had to look away. I had grown to love the woman in front of me, but the echo of her past was just too resonant for me to ignore. I was being selfish, that much I knew, but when it came to Lauren I knew I always would be.

"The day you got that scar I thought I'd never see you again." I admitted with a cringe as she looked away, but I gently pulled her chin up and stared into her caramel eyes. "You must feel it in there somewhere Lau… you and I, we're like magnets. You think it's a coincidence you were a science teacher?"

"Bo, please." She whispered shaking her head. "All I hear is how I'm not enough, how me being me isn't enough. That you want someone I'm not."

"You're hearing the wrong words, love." I whispered as I grabbed her hands and kissed her palms and her digits.

The blonde pushed me half-assed for a second before I smiled and pulled her robe off, caressing her cheek and neck with my wounded arm. She looked up at me from vulnerable eyes as if she was expecting something, and it was then that I saw it. It was as genuine as it was back then and the fact that I could see it only proved me right. Lau never thought she was enough for me. Even now she didn't believe it.

"I want you Laurel, I want you to be strong and fierce. I want you to be confident and spontaneous for sure." I explained as I started kissing her neck, noticing her aura had lit up to a million.

"Bo, please don't lie to me." Laurel begged of me as her hands wrapped around my back and she pulled my shirtless body to hers.

I then kissed her clavicle where the scar was, it was at the edge of her tattoo that sprawled deliciously down her neck. I had grown to like it with time and now it was hard to envision the blonde without it.

"You could've covered it." I baited and she nodded as my fingers started to draw circles around her thighs and her breaths became a bit sharper.

"But I liked it. I didn't know what made it but it was mine, it's me." She explained and I nodded with a smile as I kissed her jawline and dipped my fingers teasingly closer to the valley between her legs.

"It's still you. You are a strong Valkrye warrior that is a badass at hand-to-hand combat, and in the same breath you're a Succubus with powers that mirror my own… how is the thought that you were once human tarnish all that?" I challenged in a soothing voice. "I want you to remember what we had because I want to continue it with you, Laurel. That does not make me want the present you any less."

Suddenly Laurel's hand was behind my neck and she pulled me in a searing kiss while she shifted her hips as to where I was touching her warm wetness. I moaned at the contact and broke us apart while I felt her lips kiss down my jaw.

"I want to be everything you need Bo, but what if I can't?" Laurel whispered candidly as her head rolled back from my caresses between her legs.

"Then I'll keep you just the same, Lau." I breathed and her eyes closed while I entered her delicious warmness.

Our pace was slow, languid, and precise. Laurel's hips swallowed my digits with every shift of her hips and I moaned with every thrust. I made sure to kiss her all over as she held me close to her while the breath escaped her in bursts that were synced with my every stroke. I wanted her to remember, but at what cost? When I arrived here it would've been at any, but after seeing the lost reflection in her eyes I couldn't bear to hurt her in the process. I had meant what I said to her, every word. I wanted Laurel, she was amazing and strong and passionate. But I wanted Lauren as well, it was selfish of me but it was the truth. I knew Lauren was in there and it could be wishful thinking, but with every passing day I heard more science terms and jargon come out of Laurel's mouth. The first aid wasn't lost in me, I could've fed on Laurel but I wanted to test how steady her hands were. After an initial hiccup she had Doctor hands as well.

It was hours before I had finally untangled from the blonde and we had lost count of how many new heights I had taken her. The blonde had stamina to match mine and being a Succubus as well made us a bit insatiable at times. It felt liberating to let go with her in such a way. Even if my heart and mind weren't ready to be given up completely to the woman, my body and Succubus surely were. The daylight had surprised us but here we lay, as I held the blonde in my arms. These were the things I had missed, that I felt I was given a second chance at. The golden blonde locks sprawled across her back radiated in the sunlight, and I willed myself to make a new memory here and now of how beautiful this woman in front of me was.

"You don't like my tattoo." Laurel frowned and I shook my head with a smile.

"I love it, I'm actually just very glad you didn't cover the scar." I admitted.

"Are you ever going to tell me about it?" she asked wondering and I nodded.

"That day there was a deranged man on the loose. We lost a couple of humans that night. I lost my shit when the crazy man took my damsel in distress. You know how these go." I teased as she chuckled, touching the scar with her finger. "There Lauren was stabbed in the middle of the chaos. I think we were at a sex club of sorts…"

"Then what?" the blonde asked and I smiled.

"I went full on Dark Queen and got my girl back of course." I squeezed her and she chuckled before turning introspective.

I had thought she had fallen asleep from how quiet and still she was. I took the time to I remembered so far back to a time where all of our problems seemed to be hitting us back to back. The Geruda, the endless cases, the Morrigan, The Ash, my family, my father… it was all so much. If only I knew the time that was ticking away between Lauren and I, the things I would change. I would give her so much more of my time between those battles, so much more love at night, so much more support in what she did. I never deserved the blonde with how I treated her, but here I was with her in my arms in some way or another. It was nice talking openly with Laurel, I somehow hoped this would enable a memory or something but this wasn't a fairy tale and I wasn't this naïve anymore. It wasn't until I noticed she had put her head up leaning into her hand that I realized she was indeed awake but silent. I gave her my undivided attention and she blushed. It made me want to take her again and she blushed deeper.

"I need to go find my mother today." She announced as I nodded.

"That sounds fun." I offered with a shrug as she smiled and swatted at me before tracing the small pink scar from my healed stab.

"I want you to come with me Bo." She whispered and I nodded. "It'll be a really long drive and we'll be gone for a few days."

"Of course, I'd go into a volcano with you." I joked and she laughed warmly before pulling me into a kiss. "If you let me and not run away."

"I'm not even mad at you or anything for more than half a day…" the blonde lamented as I gave her a sheepish look. "You're too charming for my own good."

Laurel sighed happily before breaking our contact and disappearing towards what seemed to be a bathroom.

"Are you joining me?" her voice came across at the same time as the shower's sound and I hopped into action immediately.

 ** _*_*_*_* The air was cooler now it burns my lungs_*_*_*_*_*_**

 ** _I felt the water on my aching body as I raised my bruised arms. I felt the panic rise in me as I thought horrified of what she would think if she saw them. I shook my head horrified at the prospect of it happening, knowing the ache in her soul would be too much to handle. After the shower I was careful to put a muscle relaxer on and cover my bruises with makeup to be certain. I had finished just in time when I heard the door open and close._**

 ** _"_** ** _I'm home Doctor Lewis!" she yelled and I smiled, convinced I had touched the sun._**

 ** _"_** ** _Hmm, I thought I vaguely heard promises of a boring night of board games." I purred coming into the room._**

 ** _"_** ** _I upped that one better!" she mentioned excitedly as her face lit up taking me in. "Look what I found on my nightly stop at the one-stop pharmacy!"_**

 ** _Bo happily moved her arm over in an elegant motion and I could see behind her a small kiddie chemistry set and an easy bake oven. I could also see hidden behind all that an edible slime bug kit with a crazy Doctor on the front. My smile stretched along my face at the thoughtfulness of the Succubus and wrapped my arms around her neck to lose myself in her lips._**

 ** _Forgotten were the toys that Bo had brought, I might've been human but my awareness was top notch and I knew where this would lead. Recklessly, I couldn't help myself at the temptation that was the Succubus and I kissed her feverishly deeper as our tongues tangled in a frantic dance of lust and raw passion._**

 ** _In seconds Bo had me in her strong arms leading me to the room and I gave into her, kissing every inch of bare skin I could manage. I could feel Bo's pulse on her neck as I suckled at it, it quickened with every lap of my tongue._**

 ** _"_** ** _Fuck, Lauren I want you." She husked with so much need dripping on it that I couldn't really hold back._**

 ** _Once on the bed, Bo lost no time shedding the sports jersey I wore and the tight green panties she loved off me. She kissed down my body reverently and bathed every inch of my skin with her sinful tongue. I kept moaning and gasping as I felt her ministrations turn frantic. Her hands bunched at my hair, her teeth nipping my hips, her nails raking my back. It was torture and it was heaven and I wanted it all, I wanted all that Bo would give me because I needed her as much as she needed me._**

 ** _"_** ** _Take me Bo." I whispered before biting her earlobe and she moaned pulling me closer and dipping her fingers deep inside me._**

 ** _"_** ** _Oh!" Bo gasped at the contact and my eyes rolled back at the incredible feeling of being filled by Bo._**

 ** _"_** ** _That's just my body's natural reaction to your touch." I offered knowing she loved being teased with words._**

 ** _Bo's eyes turned blue in an instant, but I could see her holding herself back as she took a steady rhythm feeding her digits into my warmness. I rocked my hips to her touch wanting nothing but more and more. Bo obliged as she always did, but a tenderness wrapped around her that made me sad. I knew she wanted to let loose and give me her all, I wanted to take it all, take Bo into my soul even but my anatomy just wasn't meant to mesh with the Succubus._**

 ** _It was all moot, the thoughts and the lamenting were all for naught because not long after Bo's thumb found my clit and my thought process was gone. I pulled her hair as she moaned while I bucked my hips into her strong arm, and let myself be washed away with the waves of pleasure only Bo knew how to bring. I looked into her eyes and savoured, no matter how muted, that the Succubus was mine._**

 ** __*_*_*_*_*_* Stains my eyes and stills my tongue._*_*_*_*_*_*_**

 **It was as if at first a fog had covered these dreams and I was looking at them through a veil. I could see them but not control them, and even though I was experiencing them I would not lose sense of self while in the dream. I knew it was a dream, a memory, or both and that it wasn't mine but Lauren's. However this last one had been so raw and filled with emotion, so vibrant and intense that it marred my senses. As I awoke in the Jeep's passenger seat, I could feel my body tingling from the experience of Bo bringing me to peak time and time again. However all that was marred by the pain in my body, my bruises, and then the mere fact that I could see and feel Bo not being able to be her all with me. I was frail and human, so breakable and fragile that Bo had to walk on eggshells. I turned to look at the brunette who was concentrated on driving and thought of the times we had been together, and how much we had given ourselves to one another. I wasn't Lauren now and even though the possibility of being Lauren hit me in the face sharply, I could see how a sentiment resonated through us both.** ** _We were not enough for Bo._**

 **It was ironic really if you thought about it. It was the kind of irony Valkryes write about. Lauren didn't feel enough because she was human, I'm not human and yet I wasn't enough because I wasn't Lauren. I guess it was so ironic that I chuckled because the brunette turned to me. In this glorious instant I could see her turn to me, her eyes shining brightly with the sun behind her setting and a dazzling smile in her face. She looked happy, warm, and loving so much so that my breath caught in my throat.**

 **"** **Welcome back to the world, Hot Pants." Bo smiled even brighter as my smile stretched and I blushed.**

 **I wasn't sure if it was the remnants of my memory/dream, or if perhaps it was just the moment but the butterflies in my stomach fastened at the nickname. I knew it was** ** _hers_** **and I should've shrugged it off, but instead it felt like a warm blanket enveloping me with love and peace. Maybe it was that, or maybe it was Bo's soothing warm tone, smile, and the way her hand had interlaced with my fingers now.**

 **"** **How long have I been out?" I asked as I stretched my tired muscles. From the feel of it we had been on the road for a while.**

 **"** **Maybe 9 hours? I mean, you were out cold but you kept mumbling." Bo smiled a devilish smile and suddenly I panicked.**

 **"** **Mumbling?" I asked tense as Bo laughed.**

 **"** **Yeah, apparently something about some odd equation that didn't make sense?" Bo tried but I shook my head.**

 **"** **I have no idea what you're talking about." I sunk into my seat blushing.**

 **"** **Mhmmm." Bo nodded with a chuckle and I shook my head in horror. At least I wasn't moaning from the dream.**

 **"** **I hate math unless it's velocity and trajectory physics." I admitted and Bo stared at me in awe.**

 **"** **You like physics?" Bo asked incredulously as I nodded.**

 **"** **I actually have a combat lab where we're going… where I'm from. Before this mission went tits up and I ended up in San Junipero, I ran a lab there that tested combat situations for more accuracy in battle. Deadliest Warrior had nothing on me! I was actually a freelance consultant to a Black Ops group from the Canadian Armed Forces." I admitted comfortably to Bo. I wanted her to get to know me, the real me.**

 **Bo laughed wholeheartedly before kissing the back of my hand smiling.**

 **"** **I do not doubt for a second that is accurate. I mean, you're a total badass and just so bright in every life." Bo shone with pride and I couldn't quite yet believe it was for me. "So are you like a spy or something?"**

 **I laughed wholeheartedly and shook my head before giving her hand a squeeze.**

 **"** **No, but I was once, when I was a full-time warrior. It got me into a lot of trouble." I chuckled and Bo hummed. "It was one of the lives I do remember. I don't know with lives sometimes I feel like I tried to run but I was much too slow, I'm only young but that was long ago."**

 **"** **It's good relating these things with you. The passing of time is different when you're Fae."**

 **"** **I'm still as fickle as humans though." I laughed admonishing myself "I don't like liars and I don't like change."**

 **I thought about how nice this was, talking to Bo in such an uninhibited way, to actually let my guard down was hard but I kept thinking she had done the same. It wasn't lost on me that she would let her guard down every time she would be with me, in spite of the pain I could potentially bring her. She was still willing to put herself in that situation, and if she would do it how could I not?**

 **"** **We'll be there soon, are you nervous?" Bo asked and I nodded going with the truth.**

 **"** **It's been a long time, and I just hope I find her. I don't want this to be a bust again." I whispered as she squeezed my hand before we fell silent again.**

 **I needed to find my mother; I needed to know what she knew. In the end, my dreams were getting more frequent and even though my gut now told me to look at the evidence in the face, I wanted to hear it from my mother. Because in the end, I couldn't be entirely sure of what was real and what wasn't. The mind was such a susceptible thing that I couldn't be sure if Bo was triggering my dreams simply by suggestion. I was a hybrid after all, and with that came certain unknowns of my powers that made me ideal for these kind of situations. Confusing situations had been the order of the day in all my other lives in memory.**

 **_*_*_*_*_*_*_*** Out of my cage through an open door_*_*_*_*_*

I pulled the jacket closer to my frame as the cold breeze hit me harder. We had come into a suburbs kind of town right next to a city. It looked upscale but there were some run down houses like the crack shack peppered here and there. I sighed thinking of the place I missed so much, I hadn't thought it in years really. It had been too painful, too raw. With Lauren missing and Kenzi gone it was too much to handle, but now after seeing McKenzie and having Laurel within my sights was a soft balm on my broken heart.

I smirked at the sight while looking at Laurel grab a guy by the throat and slam him against the wall behind them. I flinched for a second ready to assist her but a sure kick to the guy's groin got his body limp and cooperative. Lauren was bright as could be but when it came to physical stuff she was out of her element quite a lot. Now that she was trained and proficient in other aspects of her life rather than smarts, I could see how her body was made for lithe strong movements like this.

"Come on Jeremias! You said at the bar that the Valkrye had kicked your ass so hard again she left ya howlin' so tell me what I want. There's only one Valkrye that makes you howl." Laurel hissed dangerously at the guy in her grasp.

"I..Oh Svipul! I didn't know you were back!" the towering man cowered from the blonde at recognition.

"Should've known better than to go where you aren't welcomed, Jeremias. Where is she?" the blonde barked demandingly and the man stuttered.

"She's in the river house, didn't want nobody to bother her none Svipul. If she finds out that I… please!" he begged and just like that Laurel threw him aside like a rag doll with a glare until he scowered away.

"The River house is not far from here, she'll see us coming a mile away and we'll be clear targets if she wants us dead. That means she's hiding from a bounty on her head. Good to know momma hasn't changed." Laurel smiled fondly and I shook my head with a chuckle.

"So nothing new, girlfriend's mom wants to kill me. The usual." I admitted as we walked and the blonde stopped dead in her tracks giving me a quizzical look.

"Am I your girlfriend? Did you just decide that and it was just so?" Laurel challenged with a smirk crossing her arms.

"I… well it just came out, I didn't decide anything really." I was suddenly bashful and overthinking.

"Do you want me to be your girlfriend? Me? Valkrye -Succubus Laurel with an L?" the blonde teased and I laughed walking to where she stood and pulled her by the leather jacket she so sexily wore.

"Yes, badass warrior tattooed Laurel with an L, I would like for you to please be my girlfriend." I emphasized and she smiled brightly before pushing her lips against my own.

I savoured the kiss as she pulled me closer as well and hummed into my lips with a big sigh. I loved this moment so far, her scent, her taste, her essence so strong, smart, and beautiful. This all felt right, it felt like a step in the right direction. Even though I felt myself falling more and more for the Valkrye it made me feel closer and closer to Lauren. I didn't want to think this was an offense to her memory but rather a gift to make new ones in every form.

"You're lucky Bo." Laurel breathed before we pulled apart. "I would've killed for such assumptions back in the day."

"Somehow I don't really doubt that." I whispered with a wink and pulled apart from her.

From her stance I could see she didn't like to be vulnerable around these parts so I made a mental note to leave it all business until she had put her guard down. We walked the rest of the way because she assured me that a car would be useless. As much as I hated leaving the Jeep on the side of the road, Laurel seemed to know her way around here with no problems. We had started crossing what looked to be a tall cornfield when I watched Laurel tense up beside me and in one swift movement jump in front of me before falling to the floor. I was about to ask her if she was fine before she hit my knee making me drop to the ground beside her as I felt an arrow graze my shoulder and hit the ground behind us. It was then that I could tell Laurel was bleeding from her side.

"Oh God!" I yelped as I went to get up but she pulled me down again and shook her head.

"Stay still woman!" Laurel barked and then pulled out of her pocket what looked to be a lighter before throwing it high above the cornfield after pressing a button where the lighter blew up in a blue and purple smoke.

"Svipul!?" I heard a cry from not so far away.

"Yes mother!" Laurel snapped in annoyance from beside me.

"Oh by Ares! Did I hit you?" The concerned voice drew nearer and Laurel chuckled.

"Have you ever missed Mother?"

I watched as the blonde got up gingerly as a hooded figure approached us taking her in her embrace. With one swift movement the older woman had taken the arrow off by snapping it and assured Laurel she could fix her up in wherever the house was. It wasn't until the woman turned to offer me her hand as she pulled down her hood that we both stared at each other incredulously.

"Acacia?" I gasped as the woman mirrored my stance.

"Bo?"

"You know each other?" Laurel asked in surprise.

I nodded as Acacia gave me a grave look, one filled with distrust and worry and I wondered just how much did she know about Lauren's connection to Laurel and vice versa. If this was Laurel's mother, then how come she wasn't dead? Valkryes died at childbirth and Acacia looked pretty lively in front of me. With the look we shared there was no denying, I wanted answers and she knew it. For now, I held my tongue.


	10. Chapter 10: Map of the Problematique

**Merry Xmas ladies and gentlemen! Here we are again alive and kicking. Two hurricanes and 3 months of darkness are no match for this one :) Please enjoy and review! Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mines.**

Reflections of You

 **Chapter 10: Map of the Problematique**

I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing as Laurel hugged Acacia with a smile that held tenderness. This was her mom, or at least who raised her. I could see Acacia eyeing me stiffly and nodding at me in regard. I didn't know if she wanted to let it be known to the extent that we knew each other or not. Laurel as always never missed a beat but she bid her time doing so.

The blonde waited until the older woman was curing her wound now that we were inside her hide out. She had tensely explained she was hiding from a bounty hunter and that we were lucky she hadn't aimed to kill. I had stayed silent through the mother-daughter reunion trying to assess the situation.

"Momma, how do you know Bo?" Laurel asked as Acacia smiled.

"Well Svipul, she was friends of my apprentice I always told you about." Acacia confirmed and Laurel's neck snapped towards me.

"You knew Tamsin?" she asked surprised and I nodded.

"I doubt you came all the way here to ask me how Bo and I know each other child. I should be the one asking you such a question." Acacia mentioned giving me a tense look.

"Bo's my girlfriend, Ma." Laurel announced as Acacia scoffed and shook her head standing up throwing the bottle of alcohol towards me and a rag.

"Clean yourself and get out!" Acacia roared at me and I snarled as I got up.

"I'm not leaving without answers!" I demanded and she shook her head.

"It could've been anybody, my child! Out of anybody, you could've brought home..!" Acacia demanded and Laurel gasped.

"Ma why would you say these things?" Laurel asked mortified as Acacia's eyes landed on me with scorn.

"She broke Tamsin's heart and she'll do the same to yours Svipul, just cut your losses!" Acacia warned as I felt the guilt wash over me like a wave.

"Acacia, I… I was very young then… and this is different…" I tried but she shook her head.

"Whatever you came in search of will not be revealed now, my sweetheart. I cannot condone this and I will not support it either. When you called off the engagement I thought it was for someone decent!" Acacia demanded and Laurel growled.

"Momma please, this is very important, it's regarding my lives!" Laurel begged but Acacia stood firm.

"No, this is for your own good." The older woman expressed as I watched Laurel grit her teeth hard and walked off somewhere out of the house.

I almost walked to get the blonde but instead with three strides I closed the gap between Acacia and myself to where I was face to face with the older woman. She glared at me in a challenging way but I didn't back down. I needed to know what this Valkyrie knew and I needed it as soon as possible.

"I mean it Acacia! Tamsin was a regret in my life that I wish I could take back. I ruined a perfectly good friendship because of my selfishness when I was young. Maybe in another life, Tamsin and I could've been, but as long as Lauren was there I would have no other choice… You remember the Doctor don't you?" I challenged as her eyes met mine horrified.

"Bo, don't you think you've done enough? You said it yourself, you were selfish! You were selfish and you were reckless back then, especially with Lauren! I say you weren't worthy of her then and much less of who the woman would be now! Stay away from my daughter or I will rip her from your hands." Acacia threatened and I glared at her.

"I don't kill you where you stand over that threat because Laurel loves you." I growled and she laughed bitterly.

"You don't care about Laurel, you only care about who she looks like! Stop the act Bo, you're just an animal." She whispered curtly and Laurel came into the room.

"Bo, let's go. She's not going to talk and I'm not breaking up with you without a better reason than an ex-girlfriend from over a century ago. Bye Mother." Laurel bit her teeth, grabbing me by the elbow and all but dragged me from the house where Acacia had brought us into.

Laurel was fuming by the time we got to the Jeep and she demanded the keys so I gave them to her. We got in the car as Laurel sped off in frustration. She blew by the town and anybody that she knew in it, just putting distance between herself and who she'd been. As I sat there after haphazardly buckling in, my heart felt for her. I had been lost in the world for so many years, believing one thing, being another altogether. When the truth of myself came out, I remember having a breakdown that had torn the doubts right from the deepest and darkest hells of me. And yet, I had found a light at the end of the tunnel. Solace in the storm, a balm for my aching soul; Doctor Lewis.

I stretched over and held her hand securely in mine as she blazed towards the nearest highway. We had taken the scenic route before to not raise suspicion of where we were going but I guessed now Laurel had thrown all caution to the wind and discarded that plan. I didn't want to talk just yet. I knew she would when she was ready, so for now I just waited for the right time.

As we sped up I saw her hair as it flew around her face, and it reminded me so much of the Doctor that I was mesmerized. I felt guilty immediately as I remembered Acacia's words but she was wrong. I didn't just love the reflection of Lauren in Laurel. I could now look at her and see that somewhere between her shy meeting the first time, to the scorned bombshell in front of me somehow at some point Laurel had also captured my heart. As I looked at the blonde's hand come up and brush her hair to the side pinning it, her eyes squinted and her eyebrows hardened as her lips curled in a scorn. I'm sure such an expression had made men tremble at her feet but I was just mesmerized.

"I cannot believe the audacity of my Mother!" she finally roared as I squeezed her hand.

"Acacia is probably looking out for you, as misguided as her attempt may be." I tried as Laurel huffed beside me.

"No Bo, don't defend her. She knows better! If she was going to interfere with my awakening, she had to do it towards something concrete. Not just some sob story of a Valkyrie having an affair with you so many years ago!" Laurel fumed and I sighed hard.

"I **was** kind of a dick in the event she refers to, but everyone misses the key point of this: she was aware! Tamsin was aware I loved Lauren and that I wanted to get back with her… I'm not defending my actions… I just…" I ranted frustrated.

"I don't care, Bo, I mean it…" Laurel whispered as she took my hand and kissed the back of it, as Lauren had done so many times. "We all have a past, some like me, have an unknown past that remains a mystery to us. I won't hold your past against you now if I haven't done so already."

I felt my heart swell at the tone of care laced with her frustration. I knew she wanted to be angry and gruff and yet she wasn't. I honestly wanted to stop right here and kiss her senseless before taking her over and over. I knew it was savage of me, but the level of acceptance that this human being could bring me was incredible.

"Thank you, Laurel… I don't mean to pry but I have so many questions." I admitted and she nodded.

"I know Bo, I just… I can't talk about some things right now because I'm simply just not ready for it as selfish as that sounds." She admitted. "I will not talk about my awakening."

"Alright, what about Svipul? Is that your last name or first?" I asked trying to keep it light.

"It's my last name, I was baptized Laurel but my name was given to me at the ceremony of my Regeneration. It's when a Valkyrie gets their wings." She explained and I took a double look.

"You have wings?" I asked amazed.

"Yes, but I don't open them since I cannot Doubt. I hate to fly as well so I just don't." Laurel admitted and I nodded. "I am named after Destiny."

"How so?" I asked intrigued.

"Well, we are big in mythology in Valhalla. Apparently 'Svipul' appears as a gifted individual every so often. It's apparent that I am that individual." She shrugged and I felt my jaw drop again.

"Well damn Lau!" I cheered as she flashed me a huge smile.

"Will you go to the lake with me when we go back? I need to talk to you about a few things." She breathed with new resolution as she squeezed my hand.

"I'll follow you everywhere you go, baby." I admitted with a smile as I looked out my window.

That was all I remember before searing pain and confusion. I coughed twice but blood was in my mouth and the smoke around me was so dense I couldn't see much. My heart hammered and I was sure I was concussed but through the fog I remembered…

"LAUREL!" I screamed looking around hoping she was alright.

 ***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* I want to be free from desolation and despair _*_*_*_*_**_*_*_*_***

 ** _"Well are you Lauren Lewis or Katie Dennis?" Evony laughed and I waved her off._**

 ** _"Well, I can't be sure of that to be completely honest. I seem to experience loss of memory with each cycle, not what I was expecting." I admitted as I stared at Evony sitting across from me with a concerned look._**

 ** _"But you remember me right? I'm unforgettable!" I smiled at the woman's tone and laughed._**

 ** _"Well it seems that you guessed correctly, you've done quite the impression on me because I remember you being the Morrigan and everything." I laughed._**

 ** _"What I don't… don't really remember is why I left Bo behind." I admitted and Evony nodded._**

 ** _"Because she was selfish?" she offered and I rolled my eyes._**

 ** _"Be nice." I asked and she smiled. "I still remember how much I love Bo."_**

 ** _"No laughs? Fine, fine I won't tease. Frankly, my dear you were very sick and you were dying. Like a wounded animal you left to die." Evony admitted and I scoffed._**

 ** _"But I'm here!" I admitted and she laughed._**

 ** _"Yes, but your memory is kinda shady my girl. I think you did something to yourself to be here, Katie. You've always been pretty smart." Evony winked and I blushed._**

 ** _"I do advise, however, think very hard before you come back into Bo's life. The woman is having a very hard time with how she lost you. I don't think she can lose you another time if this fix isn't permanent."_**

 ** _I nodded heavy-hearted at the news. I had to make studies, run tests and make sure I was going to stay alive before seeing Bo. If I ever saw Bo again Evony was right, I could not break her heart in such a way. Even if I didn't remember who I was completely I remembered who Bo was in my life._**

 ** _~*~*~*~*~I can't let you go~*~*~*~*~**~_**

 **I woke up in a puddle of sweat as my chest heaved at the memory. I looked around me alarmed and noticed that I was in a motel room stark naked. Sharply, I sprung up covering my body with a sheet horrified to realize there was blood all over the walls of the room. I was confused from the memory enough that I couldn't place two and two together.**

 **Before I could protest or react the door swung wide open and in came a bruised and battered Bo with a coffee. As soon as her eyes fell on me she looked overcome with relief.**

 **"Oh fuck, thank Fae!" Bo exclaimed with almost tears in her eyes.**

 **"What… what happened to you?!" I demanded as I looked her over.**

 **"Me? Me? Look at yourself and tell me what the fuck happened to you, Lau!" Bo's voice trembled with not anger but fear. "One minute we were talking and the next the Jeep was flipping a few times in the air over and over and over again."**

 **I tried to remember but all I had was that memory searing into my mind now, my own memory as far as I could tell… but I was Katie… and Katie seemed to be Lauren. There had only been one person to call me Katie before and if this was any indication, I needed to rush back to San Junipero.**

 **"You… you just lost control and there was so much damn blood I was certain, just fucking certain I had lost you again." Bo's voice held back a choke as a sob threatened to escape her and Evony's voice echoed in my head. _I don't think she can lose you another time._ **

**I think her words couldn't be truer even now. Bo looked pale and dishevelled as she lugged the coffee and crumpled bag into the bloody room. I looked around as I tried hard to collect any thoughts of the past hour but I couldn't. My memory had gotten in the way and if it was that bad now that I couldn't drive I needed to find answers fast, before I potentially forgot what I was looking for. Or worse, who I was.**

 **"I… I crashed?" I asked in disbelief trying to piece things together.**

 **"Yes…" Bo admitted in shock. "Do you not remember?"**

 **"I don't… I… I need to get to San Junipero…" I admitted and Bo nodded her head not questioning my declaration.**

 **"We can leave as soon as you're ready. Anything you want." Bo nodded still in a daze.**

 **"Bo… did we…" I let the question hang in the air not wanting to finish it.**

 **"I… I was scared you were going to die. There was so much blood and I feel like a monster… but we're both Succubi in one way or another… and you're alive…" Bo stammered looking down looking utterly broken and it broke my heart to see her in such a state.**

 **"I understand…" I whispered as I walked over and caressed her face with my palm.**

 **"I won't touch you again until you give me a clear command to do so." Bo bit through her teeth, her jaw tight after it.**

 **"It's ok, really." I breathed in a very soothing tone that made her eyes water.**

 **"It's for my own sake." She explained and my eyes watered as well as I nodded my understanding.**

 **I hated this. I hated how closed off I felt from Bo, how tense the atmosphere in the rental car was after we left the motel. She had flinched every time we touched and it hurt me. I didn't hold it against her, however it was hurting my soul as I slowly realized I had broken us. With my insecurity and my stubbornness I didn't take the time to listen to the people warning me, to my own self warnings. I knew better, I knew how to read the signs, but I didn't want to be a human. I didn't want to be a stand-in, I didn't want to be The Eternal Healer. I wasn't intimidated by the shoes to fill in any aspect but Bo's heart, but wasn't that what ultimately mattered? I loved her now, probably more than anything and I had broken us with my stubbornness.**

 **The drive was tense and long, so long that when we arrived at my house I honestly didn't feel like Bo should drive to her house after everything. She obviously didn't let me drive and I wouldn't let myself either, but that meant she was exhausted. I sighed as I leaned over and took the keys off of the ignition while Bo gave me a confused look.**

 **"You're not driving anymore Bo, please come inside." I offered with the most convincing voice I could.**

 **"Laurel maybe it's best that-" she started but I shook my head in denial. I wasn't letting my stubbornness get in the way any longer.**

 **"Baby please, come inside with me I don't care what you had to do to keep me alive. It would've been devastating to me to have to regenerate again. You have no idea the peace you gave my soul sweetie." I admitted letting myself go and be completely earnest with Bo.**

 **I could see her resolve break as she sighed and closed her eyes. It was as if she was letting every word wash over her before a small smile tugged at the corners of her beautiful mouth. She was gorgeous even with the bruises and cuts, but I was angry I had put them there. I was angry that they probably were much, much, much worse if this is how much we could regenerate between two Succubi.**

 **I watched as Bo got out of the car before closing the door and grabbing our duffle bags from the back before she met me by the passenger door. I wrapped my arm around her waist gingerly which she allowed. It was such an incredible relief I couldn't understand it at first when she leaned into my touch.**

_*_*_*_*_* Fear and Panic in the Air_*_*_*_*_*_*

I was sure I was under some sort of Post-Traumatic shit from the accident because I felt like I had been in a whirlwind or a tornado since then. My feet felt like they were walking amongst clouds as I took every step. Laurel had convinced me to stay in her house tonight and as much as I loved her company, I felt like I needed the space alone to process what had happened on the way back. I couldn't deny the blonde though, she looked worried for me when we arrived and truthfully I was indeed tired and lethargic from the long drive. When Laurel had used both of the pet names Lauren used to I buckled under the pressure and agreed to stay put. They were common names on itself, however Lauren had this way of saying them that made me melt. This was no exception, it was as if Laurel knew my weaknesses in regards to the Doctor.

When we had gotten to the house my hands were shaking and I felt like after so much time sober I needed a real hard and stiff drink. Today's events had rattled me as much as seeing Lauren get hit by that bus so many years ago. I could still feel the heaviness in my heart as I had carried Laurel almost lifeless into the motel room. Now in the safety of Laurel's living room, I heard her rummaging through her room before she announced she was taking a shower and I could think of what had happened.

 __*_*_*_*_*_*_* I feel like everything I've sowed is being ripped away_*_*_*_*_*_*_

 _I rushed in a panic as I circled the fuming Jeep almost in tears. What had happened? Where was Laurel? I looked around after finding the driver's side empty. We had hit a concrete railing that stopped the momentum of the Jeep's flips but also had shoved Laurel out of the car. I almost wept at the pile of limbs and torn clothes in the ditch close by. I rushed to her as my heart hammered. I could tell some of my ribs were probably broken and my arm was definitely broken. I could feel the headache of a concussion or maybe it was the blood loss from the deep gash along my chest. I was moving by sheer will to get to the blonde. When I kneeled next to her, the golden locks were matted with dirt and leaves as her legs and right arm twisted in the most unpleasant way. She had so much blood covering her and pouring out of her neck and head I felt my stomach drop as my blood ran cold._

 _I panicked even more but rushed a steady stream of orange Chi into her to make sure she kept alive. We needed help, but inconspicuous help. I rushed up the ravine we had come down from without knowing where I had gotten the strength to. I threw on the leather jacket to cover the gore from whoever was driving by and rushed to wave them to a stop. Once they stopped I thanked my lucky stars it was a big guy like Bruce. I hurriedly got close to his driver's side, he looked weary but worried and right when I leaned I touched his hand and that's all I needed. Ten minutes later Pseudo-Bruce had helped me put Laurel into the car and we had sped off in his car leaving him asleep on the side of the road to forget our encounter and the car. I was sure someone would pick him up but I simply had no time for more complications with how bad Laurel was._

 _I sped as fast as the car would go to the nearest motel and took a room without much fuzz from the drunken attendant. I made sure to slip him an extra bill for his troubles and asked to be left alone. He smiled in agreement and nodded pocketing the extra cash. After that I had carried Laurel to the room, her body felt lifeless but her skin was still warm and I knew I had time but not long. I wasn't even sure what to do, but I thought of myself and how I fed and I realized that Lauren was totally obsessed with my genetics as she was with my anatomy. I took a gamble and peeled the clothes off the blonde with hope. I felt disgusting as the woman moved around limply in my arms while I undressed her. I wanted her to be conscious for this but it was probably for naught after such an accident._

 _The next few hours were the most excruciating of my life as I took turns feeding and being fed from Laurel's body. Her Succubus was like mine in the sense that it felt omnipresent at times, like it had a mind of its own. Laurel wasn't conscious but after feeding more orange Chi into her and trying to stimulate her breasts, her Succubus awoke behind vacant lids and a clumsy healing body. Self -preservation right?_

 __*_*_*_* I want to touch the other side _*_*_*_*_

"Bo?" I heard Laurel's voice startle me from behind the couch I had been sitting.

I turned and saw her gentle eyes catch mine in such a vulnerable way it reminded me of Lauren. I had never seen Laurel put down all her walls and yet today this was the second time. Had she hit her head from the accident? Could she remember me? I shook my head at the notion of silly fairy tales and bad soap operas as I realized I hadn't answered.

"Yeah?" I breathed as I blushed from my silence.

"Come join me." She breathed into my ear after wrapping her arms around my neck from behind.

I shivered as arousal hit me with the breath of her lips but as soon as I closed my eyes all I could see was her limp body beneath mine. I gasped and stood up quickly as my heart raced. Laurel was taken aback by the reaction but not hurt.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" she asked in a whisper as I shook my head.

"I… I just can't get the image of after the accident out of my head." I gave her a half-truth as she grimaced.

"I understand. It's why I didn't want to be alone in there. I feel like I'm missing something here. Like we had this huge hurdle where you took the brunt of it, which scarred you, and I was left practically unscathed thanks to your efforts." She smartly admitted and I felt my heart race for another reason entirely.

"Something like that." I nodded as she clicked her tongue in a way that was too familiar.

"Then it would be plausible to deduct that the sense of need I'm experiencing right now to be in your company which is incredible, can be attributed to the muscle memory of my body pertaining the crash and huge trauma it has received." Laurel formed each word precise to a T and I struggled to not let my jaw drop.

"Have we met before?" I breathed and she laughed.

"I'm your girlfriend and Valkyrie warrior extraordinaire; Laurel Svipul." She joked with a cheeky smile tugging at my hand with hers. "Please babe? I'd love some company. I promise hands off. I can see that the unwilling physical contact we had before is hurting you beyond the comfort of my words."

"Did you know that I love the way you speak?" I breathed mesmerized. She sounded so much like Lauren, in the tone, the inflection, the knowledge, but somehow it was Laurel as well with the confidence and the wit.

"I love you, Bo." Laurel breathed sincerely holding my gaze. "I know you probably don't feel as deep for me and I respect that and the place your wife will always have in your heart. I just, I wanted you to know… knowing I was so close to my next life made me realize I had to let you know."

"In this life or the next, I'll love you as well." I said meaning it as her eyed watered "Laurel, Andrea, Svipul… any other name you throw at me I'll know who you are, **always.** "

"I believe that Bo." Laurel whispered and with that she led me to the bathroom where I could lose myself in the warmth of the water and the scalding skin of the blonde I loved calling mine.

 **_*_*_*_* I want to touch the other side_*_*_*_***

 **I could see Bo sleeping soundly in the couch across from the bed fully dressed. She had kept her word after all and I couldn't understand how we both did after how hot and heavy last night was. We had ended up making out heavily until she gently pushed me away with one last gentle kiss. I didn't want her to go far and she insisted on the couch so I wouldn't tempt her during the night. The problem with me in regards to Bo was that I was selfish. I looked at her whispering my musings in her sleep knowing I was much to blame for her heartache as much as mine since I had no restraint.**

 **"I can't get it right, get it right since I met you… All I want is for this loneliness to be over… When will this loneliness be over?" I asked into the ether in a whisper that didn't wake her.**

 **I sighed as my head sank deeper into the pillow. I tried to push the accident off my mind as Bo had recounted it to me. It sounded horrible and I felt uselessly disconnected from it all. I decided to focus on things I did know, like how my mother had been unfair to me as much as Bo. I needed answers I suspected she knew what I needed but her stubbornness over Bo was making her irrational. I could see where I got my stubbornness from.**

 **I would have to make due with the only other Intel I had. It wasn't much but I had only heard the name Katie Dennis once before and it had come out of Kelly's mouth before when I first came to town. Could it be another ghost from my past? With that thought in my head I decided that my answers seemed to be in the same household. I was going to visit Kelly and Yorkie. I knew it was too early for Bo to get up and I didn't want her following me around. The situation with my mother already had me on edge and I didn't know what to think. Not that I didn't trust Bo with my mother, but I knew there were things left being unsaid that I was missing out between them. Besides that, I knew she needed the rest after the stressful sequence of events we had.**

 **I quietly put my boots on with the jeans I had discarded last night and pulled one of Bo's tanktops on with my black leather jacket. As I headed out I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was about to take a dangerous plunge. This feeling had been with me in other lives before something drastic and I didn't quite know how to interpret it. I was scared but at the same time I needed to know. I needed to know if my whole life had been a lie. I needed to know what my mother was hiding, if it had something to do with me being human in a past life.**

 **I had left Bo a note that I had taken the rental to Yorkie and Kelly's. I knew she'd be upset at me driving but it was close by and I needed to go now rather than later. The moment I got into the driver's seat I realized this wasn't a rental and we would have to burn this car after using it if Bo hadn't compelled whoever the previous owner was. Bo had seemed pretty spooked last night and after her recount of the accident I couldn't imagine going through such a thing believing she was dead. I shook my head of such thoughts and took the last turn to the girls place.**

 **Yorkie greeted me when she saw me, she was off to her morning jog and told me to pop inside as I saw fit. I felt bad to drop by unannounced like this, but the truth was that I wasn't planning on having an existential crisis at the moment either. When I came around to the living room Kelly was reading the morning paper with a cup of coffee and sitting in her robe. She gave me a big smile when she saw me which I returned and she patted the couch beside her to get me to sit next to her.**

 **"Well, well, well… look what the Succubus dropped by! We've been missing you, stranger. Since there's a Bo there's no love for Yorkie and me." Kelly accused and I threw her an embarrassed smile as I sat beside her.**

 **"I've been doing some traveling with Bo. Went looking for my mom.**

 **"Oh! Speaking of your Momma, she looks great! Dropped by last night with something for you" Kelly mentioned as I held my breath thinking that perhaps she was wrong and I was mishearing. "That mom of yours is one tough cookie I tell ya! But yeah, she came by to hand me something for you when the time comes." Kelly admitted looking up from her newspaper.**

 **"When will that be?" I asked and Kelly shrugged.**

 **"I'll know I guess." She mentioned dismissively and I nodded.**

 **"Well, what about what you know about Katie Dennis… can you answer that?" I asked as Kelly looked up straight at me unblinking.**

 **"What… what do you want to know about her?" Kelly asked with fear.**

 **"Did she look like me too? Just like Lauren?" I asked and she hesitated. "I need to know!"**

 **"Yes." Kelly admitted nodding.**

 **"That's why when we met you said her name?" I asked as she nodded confirming it.**

 **"Well, that took less time than I expected." Kelly mentioned as Yorkie announced she was home and had forgotten her headphones.**

 **I was about to ask Kelly what was that comment about when she stood abruptly from the couch and moved to the closet next to the living room.**

 **"Acacia left you this for when you asked that question." Kelly mentioned as she struggled to pull a huge metal heavy trunk into the room.**

 **I stared at it and realized it was decorated with the runes that marked my warrior status as it did on my neck. On top, however, I could read the Valkyrian Inscription that read 'The truth of your soul will always belong in Valhalla, our warrior.' My hands shook as I stood and whispered my ancient language reciting my mother's prayer as I felt my worst fears were possibly going to be confirmed with this box in front of me. The inscription read like a farewell, and that's how it felt in my heart, to be honest.**

 **I felt the tears run down my face as I fell to my knees and my heart pumped faster than ever. I felt my hands shaking in a way that I couldn't quite control, and very deep inside of me I wanted to scream at myself to get a grip but I simply couldn't. Some warrior I was… Or was I simply just a human mutation? I shivered at the possibilities this discovery held and I cringed. I didn't know what was worse, to know or not know. I breathed in and out rapidly trying to calm my fried nerves and found that I simply could not. I could feel the fear, and panic in the air but I want to be free from desolation and despair so I hung my head in shame as I weighted my possibilities.**

 **"Do… do you need help with that Laurel?" I heard Kelly ask tensely behind me as I shook my head negative.**

 **"Get Bo." I uttered the only words I knew in my heart would make sense. "She's at my place, don't make her panic."**

 **"I'll get Bo… Kelly will stay here, right Kelly?" I heard Yorkie offer as Kelly agreed and told her to hurry.**

 ** _Hurry?_**

 ** _There was no hurry now._**

 ** _Time stood still and moved in at a lightning pace at the same time for me._**

 ** _There was no hurry for the truth was at my fingertips._**


	11. Chapter 11: My Kingdom

**Whew! No we're not dead (Even though my laptop has been), but incredibly still 8 months after the actual event SuccubusShinnobi and I are still trying to get back on track after Maria. Now that I was able to recover my files from the dead laptop I will finally be able to finish this and Chemicals before sharing new projects here and in a different fandom. Remember, any shout outs through twitter are welcomed even if it's to give me a piece of your mind about the work. Last_Dragomir**

 **Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story belong to their rightful creators while the situations and storyline are solely mine.**

Reflections of You

 **Chapter 11: My Kingdom**

 **Could I have the answers Bo was seeking so fiercely? But what if I wasn't ready for what this entailed? What if I wasn't what Bo missed? What if I'd never be what she wanted or needed? Just a constant reminder of what she no longer had? I shivered at the thought as I felt Kelly move beside me.**

" **Laurel, you don't need to open that trunk." Kelly whispered and I looked up to meet her eyes. "When Bo gets here we could toss it into the sea."**

" **I can't…" I whispered shaking my head and caressing the edge of the trunk.**

" **Yeah you can, it'll be therapeutically and you and Bo-"**

" **No Kelly. There's no me and Bo. There was Lauren and Bo… it was always Lauren and Bo… I'm not enough." I admitted angrily.**

" **Nonesense Laurel!" Kelly tried but I shook my head.**

" **I've seen the way she looks at Lauren and… the way it makes you feel when Bo Dennis looks at you like that… it's… it's indescribable and I know… I know it's not for** _ **me**_ **. It's never been for me and I know I'll never be…"**

" **Laurel you're not making sense." Kelly tried but I got up and snatched her box of cigarettes from the coffee table and lit one up.**

 **Kelly huffed in disapproval but grabbed the box from my hands and lit one up herself trying to stay calm as well. The taste I had adored once now was repugnant to me and I grimaced at the stick between my fingertips. It was probably the Nicorette patches working finally. I gave Kelly an even look as she crossed her arms and stared me expectantly.**

" **It wasn't long ago but I started getting these dreams… and the thing… thing is that they're not really dreams Kelly. I'm having memories." I explained as Kelly tilted her head in confusion.**

" **Memories? Whose, yours?" she asked and I shook my head frustrated.**

" **No Kelly, not mine." I frowned as the woman scoffed at me.**

" **How fucking long Laurel? Did you remember us? Is that why you're here?" Kelly demanded as I nodded.**

" **Not you particularly, no. It was vague and confusing because it was Katie this time but I remembered you using the name when we first met. It's all shadowy as always but that will come over time." I explained.**

" **Wait… you haven't been dreaming about Katie? Then who have you been…"**

" **Hey ladies… oh Lau honey…"Bo's voice came into the living room pleasantly but for me it could've been miles away.**

 **~*~*Take a hit, let it sink in~*~*~***

" _ **Lau honey, babe what do you think?" I heard Bo's voice come into my attention as I looked away from the analysis I was doing to look at her radiant smiling face.**_

" _ **I'm sorry Bo, I'm afraid I missed that babe." I mentioned with a smile in a tone I now recognize was only for the Succubus. "Could you please repeat that?"**_

" _ **Well I'm actually afraid to now…" she joked and I chuckled taking my eyeglasses off with a smile as I stood.**_

" _ **Aw come on Bo, you know I won't be appalled by anything you say. Remember the Manta?" I teased as I reached her wrapping my arms around her neck while we both laughed. "There's scientifically nothing that can put me off from you Bo Dennis."**_

 _ **The gorgeous brunette smiled and nodded looking into my eyes with so much faith and love that it was impossible not to feel my insides churn with love and perhaps a bit of lust. As always the Succubus knew how to make my knees tremble, it must've been in her anatomy or in her molecules to have the exact formula to make me quiver.**_

" _ **I like my last name, reminds me that I was human once." Bo gave me that devastating smile that would make my heart beat faster and faster.**_

" _ **It's a gorgeous last name Bo. I whispered as I leaned in and kissed her lips longingly. I melted into her luscious lips as her hands grabbed my waist sending a shock of excitement through me before pulling away and pressing her forehead against mine.**_

" _ **Then take it." Bo whispered and I furrowed my brow in confusion.**_

" _ **Take it where?" I asked confused as Bo threw her head back laughing completely inhibited while squeezing my waist.**_

" _ **Oh Lau, you're killing me! For such big brains, sometimes I…"**_

" _ **Oh come on, tell me!" I laughed slapping her arm a bit sullenly.**_

" _ **Take my last name Lau… be my Mrs. Dennis." Bo asked between chuckles as her smile spread bigger. "Lauren Dennis or Katie Dennis I don't really care whatever you want to call yourself as long as you call yourself my wife."**_

 _ **My breath caught in my throat at the magnificence of the Succubus and what she was really asking me. I felt my vision blur with tears as the words caught in my throat with great emotion and excitement. This could very well be the apex of my human existence.**_

 ***~*~*~*~*~*~ Trapped and faded nearly there no control I'm giving in. *~*~*~*~*~*~**

" **LAUREL!" I heard Bo yell as I flinched and pulled away from her grasp shaking my head.**

 **The horrifying thought dawned on me that now not only was I experiencing these memories in my dreams but that there were also living moments that triggered them. I hated how this process went, the constant confusion, the mismatch of perceptions and realities. It was all so rattling that I felt some lives I'd go insane. To not have information one second and a lifetime of it the next in a different time or place was sometimes devastating. It was the fact that this was happening that had me in a catatonic state.**

" **Lau please!" Bo begged as I blinked and met her eyes.**

" **Bo." I whispered as her eyes closed in relief noticing that I had come to my senses.**

" **Yes Laurel, I'm here. You called me and I came, what's going on? You were still and** _ **gone**_ **for a while there." Bo mentioned still worried as I nodded my head.**

" **I.. I have to talk to you about that…" I admitted nodding as Kelly agreed with her head from behind Bo. "But first I have to open this. I don't want to do it alone and no offense to you ladies but I don't want to do it here."**

" **No offense taken." Yorkie offered and Kelly nodded.**

" **You guys do you, I already did my part." Kelly mentioned as I nodded at her and Bo threw us confused looks.**

" **I'll explain, I promise. First let's get this in the Jeep." I suggested and Bo nodded.**

 **Between the both of us we took the heavy trunk to the Jeep in the driveway. I was extremely careful with the heavy box as if it held a part of me; perhaps it did. Bo seeming to sense my mood walked slower and more careful than I expected. After we loaded it into the truck and we strapped ourselves to the seatbelts we took off. It wasn't a long ride to my place but I reminded her which directions to take. It wasn't far from hers actually and I enjoyed the place quite a lot but having Bo there would be even better with how I was feeling after reading the inscription on the box. I didn't want to fathom it to be true but at the same time my body buzzed with the expectation of awareness.**

 **Truth was, after last night I didn't want to leave Bo. On the contrary I wanted to stay with Bo, my body ached for her as my soul longed to have her, the issue was that I wanted a part of Bo that I knew I couldn't have. For I was now an addict of her kisses when feeling was behind them, I was slave of her hands whenever she would touch me and for as long I could hold her gaze the look of unabated love that resonated in her soul with each memory that came to me would keep me put. I wasn't ignorant or naïve, I knew the love wasn't for me, but I couldn't go back now that I had experienced it even in my dreams. The problem was, what if I was wrong or damaged? What if this box differed from what Bo wanted to hear? What if I wasn't who she wanted me to be?**

_*_*_*_Take you away far from what you know. _*_*_*_

I was angry that Laurel had driven herself here, I could admit that. However I could understand that this was absolutely not the time to bring it up. After I had gotten to Yorkie's and assessed the situation I had found a pretty fragile Laurel. I wasn't too sure what was going on, she had seemed to space out completely in the living room and a huge part of me theorized this is what had happened when we crashed.

We had lugged some sort of trash hunk trunk from Yorkie's and Laurel was insistent we went to her place where she had left me sleeping. I was confused when I woke up to the pounding of the door and when I opened it Yorkie assured me Laurel wanted to see me. I was happy with that fact and took it as relief that she had made it there safely. I wanted to talk to her about the dangers of her driving alone or driving at all, however all that went to shit when she went into shock. Something in the reluctant demeanor of the blonde told me she knew what was going on to an extent. I kept quiet though, if I knew the blonde at all I knew she needed the space.

It wasn't until I had helped her lug the trunk inside her house that I took a good hard look at her. Laurel looked damn good in those jeans and boots but the best part was the way my tanktop fit her like a glove making my Succubus roar in approval. I knew it wasn't the time, really, but the woman just knew how to set me ablaze as she peeled the jeans off her luscious body. Her eyes met mine after the innocent action she tended to do when we were alone and a small smirk left her lips while she ran a hand over her hair.

"I guess I must seem crazy." Laurel smiled as she started and I chuckled shaking my head.

"Not at all, I mean I've met crazier by a long stretch." I admitted and this made her laughter run through the house.

I loved the sound but more I loved the fact that her shoulders had relaxed and that her posture let go of it's tense stance and I knew I had broken the ice. Her eyes were tentative as she measured me with a good gaze. I smiled reassuringly before walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her with a smile. I felt her melt into my arms with a sigh as I chuckled and kissed the top of her head breathing her in.

"Come on babe, you can tell me anything. I've told you crazy theories and here you are. Why would you ever think it would be different between us?"

"I'm scared Bo, I'm scared of what will be, what isn't… I'm scared for us… what if I'm not what you're looking for?" Laurel's voice came out vulnerable and strained and I held her tighter.

"I thought we were over this babe. You are what I want." I assured her and found myself meaning it even more so after almost losing her.

"Maybe we should sit down… I should probably talk to you before we open that." Laurel mentioned with disdain as she looked at the box once more.

"If you're scared of what's in there we don't have to open it Lau… We can just chuck it and continue our lives as we have…" I offered as she smiled and shook her head.

"I wished that was true Bo, but unfortunately it's not. This is happening no matter what." Laurel explained leaving me confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked as the blonde took a long sigh.

"I just… I hate how our lives are this complicated." Laurel lamented reminding me of a different time.

"Lau.." I smiled letting the deja vu wash over me. "We are messy. We're complicated, that hasn't changed."

She took a deep breath while I noticed she had led us to the couch. We took a seat and Laurel seized me up once more before holding my hands. She traced my skin with her delicate fingers as her eyes searched mine letting my words wash over her before she kissed my knuckles with her soft lips. I didn't want her lips distracting me but I could see it was to no avail. I felt the surge in my libido before I could control it and before I knew it I saw hers spike to mirror mine. Laurel's speed left me breathless as she lunged forward expertly catching my lips with her luscious ones in a searing kiss. I was instantly craving more as I pulled her closer and moaned into her mouth while her teeth grazed my bottom lip with gusto.

When she pulled away from my lips and attacked my neck I sighed hard and raked my nails down her back under her shirt. I wanted her with an animalistic dominance that wouldn't go away. I always knew that Lauren was my soulmate deep down and I fought it so long for fear of ruining it. Now Laurel was in front of me: tasting, smelling, sounding and moaning just like Lauren but her hands were rougher, her touches were firmer and her energy fed off mine in this insatiable craving for the blonde it was like she was my match, she could sustain me, she could (wo)manhandle me if she so desired. That made me crazy, so much so that I was franticly lost in her and couldn't think of why we were here.

I pushed her beyond the couch until she was laying beneath me and trembling at my touch as I feathered it now down her ribs ghosting my fingers to her hip bones. The sound she made was reminiscent of another time and yet the boldness in which she took my hand and pressed it against her wet underwear was new. I moaned loudly and almost recoiled as a memory of the last motel flashed before my eyes. Lauren pulled my face towards her seemingly knowing where my mind had gone and then looked into my eyes. Her lips were parted as she panted softly yet lustfully while my fingers continued their torture applying pressure at the soaking fabric.

"I want you to Bo." Laurel admitted candidly as her aura set the house ablaze.

"Fuck" I breathed as I moved her underwear and slipped my digits deep within her.

The way her head slung back and her lips parted while her eyes closed and her hips shifted to take me all in had me trembling. I was in a daze of memories and reality that was making me reel. This was something that had always drove me crazy when done by the Doctor and now here it was driving me nuts again.

The symphony of her pants and moans urged me to go faster with immense care. I could almost feel the connection to my Lauren and how it used to be but Laurel's eyes were fully emerald by now reminding me of the Succubus within her. With one swift movement she grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled herself upright parallel to me while taking me knuckle deep making me gasp and hiss. Her lips captured my lower one sucking and nipping while riding my hand. I was about to comment how hot this had me but the words stuck in my throat as I watched her eyes flash back to caramel twice with my movements. I heard the blonde in my arms gasp pulling me closer, her lips trembling at my ear now as I felt her close to coming undone.

"My Queen." She breathed making me shiver and my Succubus roar.

"Close your eyes, welcome to my Kingdom"

The next sequence of events were selfish on my part, and in retrospect perhaps I shouldn't have pushed so far but in the end there was no turning back.

I flicked my finger deep within her and found what the Doctor and I liked fondly to call 'the button'. I knew the kind of deep animalistic orgasm it would bring to this beautiful body and like the lustful creature that I was, I indulged myself bracing for the reaction. The way her fingers coiled around my shoulders while her nails dug into me was so familiar I felt myself tremble with the oncoming orgasm of my own. _Jesus she hadn't even touched me yet!_

We became a thrashing trembling mess as we both coiled and crested close to one another, gripping heaving bodes still clothed. It was bliss and agony as I could recall every sight, every sound, every moan, tremble of her breath, the very way her walls would contract against me, the way her musk smell hit my nostrils deliciously. It was too much and not enough as I watched flash after flash of countless time where I had made Lauren come undone this way to the very same reactions.

 **_*_*_*_*_*A single sip, my mind moves miles_*_*_*_*_*_***

 **I trembled as orgasm after orgasm hit me in droves and I felt Bo's content chuckle from above me. I felt so lightweight and happy that it made me forget whatever had been troubling me before this. Bo tended to have that effect on me and as I looked at her naked body before me I couldn't help but bite my lip wanting to take her again.**

" **You're giving me the eyes again Doctor." Bo purred and I laughed languidly.**

" **I want you Bo." I purred and sighed longingly.**

" **But you're spent, I need to give you a break." Bo gave me that devastating smile as my heart twisted in pain at the reminder of my humanity.**

" **I don't want a break, I want you." I insisted with a smirk as Bo smiled widely leaning down to kiss my lips with happiness.**

" **I want a baby Doctor Lewis… soon to be Dennis." Bo put out there as I felt my heart hammer fast with the thought of such a thing.**

 **Did I dare? To think of a small little raven haired girl in boots and a little leather jacket strutting about pretending to slay something… That would be a sight my heart would probably not be able to take. I would absolutely love a small one with the love for books I could give her and the total self-confidence and overall badassery Bo could. I sighed happily as I looked into the brunette's soft expectant eyes; she was serious.**

 **Before I could relish the happiness of the moment the scene shifted. I looked around confused. The lighting was different and the room was not the one I was just in, but I knew it this time that this was a memory as vivid as the day Lauren lived it…** _ **Or did I?**_ **I knew I was in a cabin, it was a resort where we had come to get away from the bustle of life. For some reason I felt like I didn't want to relive this and yet here I was powerless to do so.**

 **I could hear the birds in the horizon and I leaned out of the balcony where I was standing as it overlooked the forest where we were camping out. It was a place in the outskirts of the city but peaceful enough that we wanted to retreat to it. I was worried I remembered, I was worried because I kept getting these intense headaches lately that I couldn't ease at any cost. Bo had suggested it was too much work and that a holiday was in order. I took the more scientific route and went to my primary care physician who did a battery of tests. I didn't want to self-diagnose and I was taking advantage of the apprentice Doctor I was training under Dyson's request. Truth was the Fae needed a Doctor with my brilliance even if I couldn't be it.**

 **Evony had insisted on calling in case anything came up and I knew she would keep her promise. We had become frienemies since the whole Hades debacle and I was glad to have her in my corner in this case. I chuckled at the irony before I got a blasting searing hot pain in my right temple. I grabbed at the side of my head in immense pain as I crouched before collapsing to the ground. I cried as my heart hammered in my chest until the pain was so much it was not there anymore. Or maybe I wasn't there anymore.**

 **_*_*_*_* A single spark it ignites my heart. _*_*_*_*_***

The blonde had put her head back to gather her bearings as I stood back up to catch my breath. That had been a rush I wanted to do it again. I stood to stretch and try to recall what were we talking about when my eyes landed on the huge hunk of trash on the middle of the room. I leaned down trying to read the scribble but couldn't. I felt Laurel moving about behind me and I turned to ask her about the box, or perhaps more sex but she was not there nor in the kitchen. I walked down the hallway knowing she couldn't have gone far and saw an open door which I had never been through before. It looked much like Lauren's lab but it had all kinds of weapons, machines, knives, arches, bombs, gunpowder and much more. However the more I looked around the more horror gripped me as my voice caught in my throat in fear.

The blonde had bypassed me for the lab as she stood catatonic in the middle of it. To my horror she had the trusty knife she kept in her thigh holster gripped tightly in her hand. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't move but I could see Laurel's movements, I could hear her muttering. My blood ran cold as I her voice reached my ears.

"It can't be we need more time! I wanted more time!" she demanded in tears now and I almost started crying recognizing Lauren's words in her mouth when we got told she was sick.

I saw with horror how the blonde in her hysteric trance grabbed a knife. I wanted to run to her but proof of the agility she possessed as a warrior her movements were too quick for me and I only reached her in time to see her eyes open wide and her gasp at the pain she had inflicted upon herself. The knife was now deep within her and a thick string of blood ran down her hand.

"Stand back Bo!" Laurel pushed me away and fell forwards from the move.

I wanted to reach for her, mend her, heal her whatever it took but I knew better from the fierceness of her tone. I had to let her process things her way, this was a major difference between Lauren and Laurel and one I had to respect.

"Lau-"

"Shhhh, I need a second." She interrupted me as she held her head almost to steady it.

"Laurel you're bleeding! You just stabbed yourself, you don't have a second!" I tried desperate as I watched the blood trickle from her wound.

"Calm yourself Isabeau it's a minor laceration to my left bicep, had I been a human still the nerve and muscle damage would be severe, almost irreparable. However I am confident with the Succubus abilities in my body that it will merely leave a small pink scar to match your own." Her voice came level, clear and in a tone that sent chills down my spine.

My heart hammered in my chest as my breath came in ragged gasps while I stared at the blonde heap in the floor. I wondered time and time again if I had EVER given Laurel my name. I couldn't possibly from the top of my head remember each interaction with her and I honestly didn't think I had but yet… I mean, not that I was famous, but perhaps Acacia or maybe someone somewhere had uttered it in Fae talks?

"What… are you… what?" I stupidly muttered incoherently.

I watched her pull her hair back from her face and the instant her eyes met mine it was as if I knew and yet I couldn't let myself think it. I watched her lips twitch into that slow seductive smile accompanied by a hum and I could've sworn I would have a heart attack from all the differing emotions.

"I've rendered you speechless once more." I watched her take a deep breath and stand while looking around as if in a new way. "I really do need to take care of this… I've been through worse but it's not ideal."

Her eyes met mine again and I opened and closed my mouth like an idiot.

"I thought I'd be more horrified than this… the more the moment drew near the more I realized there was no need." She smiled at me and walked over to where the counter was. "Hand me that metal briefcase beside my extinguisher. It should be heavy and fragile so be careful."

I did as she instructed without a single word. I was confused but I wasn't, if that made any sense. I think it was partially wishful thinking hoping that my wildest fantasies would come true. I only snapped out of my trance as I heard the blonde laughing and looking around the workshop.

"Wow! What a badass!" she said with a smile. "I am a genuine badass, good for me!"

"Laurel are you alright?" I dared to ask as I grew more and more worried. Maybe the blood loss had been more significant that I thought. Maybe I was just jumping to crazy conclusions in my head.

Then she turned and my world was upside down and burning everywhere with the heat of a thousand suns as she shone her golden warm aura on me, bathing me. My breath caught in my throat and purposely as if trying to show me, I watched as the blonde cleaned her hands in a very meticulous way. She then proceeded to fix some gloves on her hands and expertly with the ease of someone who has done this their whole life she removed the knife and stopped the bleeding in a swift movement. Before I knew it she was cleaned up and suturing herself with the reflection of the marble countertop. Badass indeed, but then did I dare to assume that there was something more to the precision of her movements? Almost Doctor like?

"You know, it's funny how one minute you can be nowhere and then here again so incredibly self-aware." The blonde mentioned in passing as I tried to process the information. "It was so hard to remember, such a thick amazing fog around every detail, it was like retrieving it from a hostile camp of war."

"You've hit your head and lost a lot of blood…" I started but she shook her head.

"I know. I know that Bo, but neither of those events were serious. I hit my head but not enough for a concussion and I stabbed myself merely to snap myself out of a haze." She explained before dabbing herself with a bandage and putting her tools down while taking her gloves off.

I watched her sway her hips towards me and look at me in a way that made all the hairs in my body stand in disbelief.

"I cannot begin to express how insane it is the fact that I feel in my soul that it's been decades since I have kissed you or held you and yet I remember holding you against my skin moments ago while you made me yours." She breathed in front of me and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"Laurel… please…" I begged hoping this wasn't some sick twisted joke.

"Bo… as much as I like the name you know it's not what you call me." the blonde challenged as I started laughing almost in hysterics while I cried at the same time."

"It can't be right? I mean…" I laughed wholeheartedly as I watched her face mirror my joy. "Doctor Lewis?"

"Your Doctor Isabeau." she breathed as she wrapped her arms around my neck and we melted into a searing all-consuming kiss.

I felt the tears roll down my face as her lips molded with mine without missing a beat. It was slow and sensual and her hands roamed my body as if to remember any and every nook and cranny of my skin lit ablaze. I wanted to protest, to let her know I was confused, but all I could do was kiss her with the intensity she was giving me. She was right, it had felt like forever and no time at all. I could just taste her essesence so divinely there was no question in my mind. The balance was right this time and her scent was perfect. Before I could protest her hands had busied taking my shirt off and then my jeans. Her lips traveled to my neck as my head fell back in pleasure. The room was on fire with her aura.

"Please Lau I-" I tried from a lustful haze that didn't let me breathe let alone think. All I could think was Lauren.

"Fuck even recently I've always loved when you call me Lau." She hissed from my neck as I tried to think about the importance of that through her fingers torturing my skin.

I pushed the blonde away slightly, not enough to be away completely from me but enough that she would at least let me think. I saw her caramel eyes dark from the lust in them as her lips held a perfect pout.

"I need to know, as weird as this sounds, that Laurel isn't trapped in your head or lost into the ether or… I mean I have you back, I can feel it and that's great and I love that but…" I started not really knowing how to continue. How could I explain to Lauren that I loved Laurel too? What if that really amazing person was gone forever?

"But you want Laurel too…" she finished for me with a small understanding smirk and I was instantly ashamed. I never deserved Lauren.

"Shhh hey, hey there, where'd you go babes?" her voice reached my ears and it was such a tone that it reminded me of the bolder blonde I had recently met. My eyes searched hers as she nodded.

"I don't deserve you." I actually whispered this time and she chuckled before kissing my lips gingerly.

"Actually, I don't deserve you Bo. You loved me even when I wasn't quite me. I don't want to get into specifics right now but bottom line would be that you can rest assured that I'm ready to pick up where we left off." The blonde enunciated the words I had told Laurel not so long ago and I felt the relief wash over me.

"Wow…" I whispered as she nodded and started kissing my lips once more teasing my now half naked body with her hands.

"I've missed you Bo, I need to remember every inch of you, every sound, every sigh. I want it all Bo, this time you hold nothing back." Lauren challenged making me shiver with desire as the room lit ablaze with her lust.


End file.
